


The Next Savior

by Wolf_Stevens



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 07:07:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 41
Words: 68,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5488223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolf_Stevens/pseuds/Wolf_Stevens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU, takes place after season 3 in which they defeated Zelena but Emma and Hook never went back in time. This is about 20 years into the future where magic is all over the world now, where Regina and Emma are married and had two additional daughters via magic and centered mostly around their youngest. Swan Queen involved, don't like don't read. Rated M for themes</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon A Time, if I did then Regina and Emma would be together already.
> 
> A/N: If you have tumblr, you can look me up on there, name is wolfstevens. This story started on there with the help of a dream and my good friend cutelikemurder. I suggest that if you like my writings you should check her out as well. She is also a very talented writer with a great big mind. Without much further ado, here is the story.

It was just another typical summer day in the city of Storybrooke, Maine, for the Swan-Mills family. Regina was the first to rise, making breakfast for her wife and two daughters before she had to go to work. Emma was walking around like a zombie without her first cup of coffee in the morning, Alex was putting on her makeup and business suit for job hunting, and Amanda was trying to enjoy her youthful freedom by, unsuccessfully, sleeping in.

"Alex, Amanda, breakfast is ready!" Regina called up the stairs. Footsteps were heard as Alex made her way down the stairs. Emma was just placing plates on the table when her eldest daughter gave her a hug.

"Morning Ma," she said as she sat down while Regina brought out a dish of scrambled eggs and bacon. "Smells good Mom."

"Thank you dear," Regina smiled as Alex and Emma sat down to eat. "Is your sister up?"

"I didn't hear her," Alex replied.

"Amanda! Get down here!" Emma yelled loudly, causing Regina to wince. Emma noticed and sheepishly smiled. "Sorry," she apologized to her wife.

"What did I say about yelling at the dinner table Emma?" Regina chided.

"Not to do it," Emma repeated as if she was one of their children. She put down her fork and got up. "I'll go check on her." Regina watched with a smile as her wife disappeared up the steps.

Once Emma reached Amanda's door, was almost hesitant to knock. It wasn't like their youngest to not be up early in the morning. "Hey sleepyhead, time to get up," Emma called out as she forgoed knocking and just walked right in. Amanda let out a sleepy groan in reply. "Mom's got breakfast on the table."

"It's the first week of summer Ma, can't I sleep in?" Amanda groaned as she felt the bed shift as Emma sat down next to her. Emma let out a chuckle as she ran a hand over her daughter's honey-blonde hair that was so much like her own. Where Alex carried the traits that were mostly Regina, Amanda was always referred to as the mini-Emma. The only thing that no one could figure out was how she had managed to inherit David's intense blue eyes since Emma's were green and Regina's were brown.

"Didn't you promise Mom though that you were going to go with her to the town hall today?" Emma asked as her daughter shifted in the bed. Amanda seemed to be lost in thought for a moment.

"I thought that was tomorrow," she said as she sprung up and out of bed to get dressed. "Can you tell her I'll be down in ten please?"

"Okay kid," Emma chuckled as she stood up and moved for the door, pausing to give her daughter a kiss on the head. "Love you."

"Love you too Ma," Emma heard her call back as she left the bedroom and went back downstairs. That was one thing about Henry that had stuck all these years; Regina was always called Mom and Emma was Ma (though Amanda was known to still call Emma Mama on occasion). Amanda donned a nice pair of skinny jeans and one of her black blouses, sliding on a pair of calf-high boots.

Downstairs Emma had given Regina a kiss and relayed the message. "Just to remind you guys I won't be home for supper," Alex informed as she picked up her plate. "I've got two interviews today."

"Where at?" Regina asked, picking her plate up and moving with Alex to the kitchen since they were both done eating.

As they disappeared into the kitchen Amanda approached the table and swiped a piece of bacon off of Emma's plate. "Get your own kid," Emma grumbled as she shielded her plate from any more food swipes. Amanda just smiled as she nibbled on her stolen food.

"Are you seriously wearing that?" Regina commented as she came back out of the kitchen and looked Amanda over. The young girl had done her hair up in a braid to keep it out of her face.

A quick glance over her mother's shoulder revealed Alex's smirking impression.

"If Ma can get away with being chief Sheriff wearing that," a quick gesture to Emma's attire of blue skinny jeans and a white wife beater tank top, "I think can get away with this." Regina regarded her wife's attire compared to her daughter's. She released a sigh.

"Oh, all right," Regina relented with a soft smile. Regina and Emma were known pushovers when it came to Amanda.

"Seriously Mom, you're gonna let her get away with looking like a tramp?" Alex argued, now scowling at her younger sister. Amanda's smile turned into a frown.

"Alex, don't talk about your sister like that," Emma scolded. Alex scoffed as Regina turned around to face her, sporting a scowl.

"Alexis Marie, you apologize to your sister right now," Regina ordered. Alex ignored her mothers as she just walked out of the mansion. "Alex!"

"It's okay Mom," Amanda said sadly, sitting down next to Emma. "It's fine."

"No it's not, she had no right to talk to you or about you like that," Emma stated, upset at her eldest daughter's actions and words. Amanda just gave a shrug and slouched in the chair.

"Really, it's okay. She still hates me for taking her glory away." Regina and Emma exchanged a worried look.

"Sweetie," Regina said as she sat down on the other side of Amanda, "you didn't steal anything from her."

"Yeah I did. Graduation was supposed to be all about her since she was older, not sharing it with her little sister." Regina and Emma sighed.

"Amanda, honey, graduation is just a rite of passage that everyone has to go through at some point in their lives," Emma explained, and Regina quietly snorted, earning her a small quick glare from Emma. "You just happened to excel in your schooling and were able to do it faster than anyone expected."

Amanda sighed, eyes still downcast into her lap. "I think I just want to stay home today," she muttered.

"Oh no, you promised me you'd come with me to the town hall," Regina said, grasping her daughter's hand. "I'm sure there's something there that'll keep you busy."

"Fine," Amanda quietly responded, pulling her hand back and moving towards the door.

"Should we be worried?" Emma quietly asked Regina.

"Not right now, dear," Regina answered just as quietly, watching Amanda go outside. "Graduation was just last week. I'm sure the girls will get over this spat in no time." Emma nodded though not entirely convinced. "See you at lunch?"

"Granny's?" Emma confirmed. Regina nodded and got up, kissing her wife. "Love you."

"Love you too," Regina replied, following Amanda outside. She found her daughter sitting in the passenger side of the car, playing on her phone. "Ready to go?" Regina asked, receiving a shrug in response. With a sigh she started the Mercedes up and drove them downtown to the town hall.

Throughout the morning Regina had Amanda going over budgets and financial records to keep her busy. The girl seemed to have a gift when it came to numbers. She corrected a few of the documents and had Regina check them over before signing them. Any attempts at conversation were discarded, but Regina was okay with that because she knew how zoned into her work Amanda could get. It wasn't until lunch time when she had to physically take the current papers out from under her daughter's nose to get her to stop. Amanda was dazed for a moment as she looked between her mother and the clock, then down to her rumbling stomach.

"That's what you get for skipping breakfast," Regina chuckled as Amanda blushed. She stood, straightening her blouse and making sure it was buttoned up to her neck. Regina frowned and moved in front of her daughter, unbuttoning a few of the top buttons. "This one is not meant to be buttoned all the way to the neck dear," she informed gently as she patted Amanda's shoulders. The young girl nodded and cast her eyes downward.

"Yes Mom," she said timidly, causing Regina to cock an eyebrow in concern.

"Hey, are you still worried about what your sister said?" she asked as they made their way towards the door.

"No," Amanda replied, but it was unconvincing as she fidgeted with the edge of the blouse. Regina chose to let it go for the time being; it wasn't a battle worth fighting. They got to the diner and sat down in the normal booth they occupied, waiting on Emma.

"There's my bestie!" Lacey called out, rushing over to the booth to wrap her arms around Amanda.

"Lace, get off of me, you mutt," Amanda laughed as she tried to push the other girl off of her. Regina smiled at the interaction between the two girls. Ruby came up from behind her with a cup of coffee.

"Lacey, leave Amanda alone and get back to work," Ruby lightly scolded. "I'll give you a break in a little bit."

"Okay Mom!" Lacey said, giving her friend one last squeeze before bouncing off again. "See you later chicka!"

"Yeah, yeah," Amanda called after her.

"Milkshake?" Ruby asked.

"No thanks, just a water today," she answered. Ruby looked at Regina and was answered with a small shrug.

"One water, coming up." Ruby moved to go get the drink.

"Are you feeling okay?" Regina asked her daughter.

"Yeah, why?" Amanda responded, her smile now dropping from her face.

"You normally go for a milkshake, that's all."

"Who's not ordering their usual milkshake?" Emma asked as she approached the table, sitting down next to Regina and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Amanda turned down a milkshake for water," Regina informed. Emma immediately reached over the table and felt Amanda's forehead.

"Ma," she complained, jerking away from her mother's touch.

"She doesn't feel like she's running a fever," Emma commented as Ruby set down a glass of water and a hot cocoa with whip cream and cinnamon in front of them. "Hey Rubes."

"Hey, ready to order?" Ruby asked.

"Usuals," Regina said, but Amanda interrupted.

"Could I get a salad instead?" she asked Ruby. "No dressing please." Ruby cocked an eyebrow at the younger girl.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Amanda?" she asked jokingly, but Amanda just crowded into herself.

"Never mind then, I'll take the usual," she muttered, her eyes dropping to her lap. Ruby's joking manner disappeared as she looked to the two mothers, who were both eyeing their youngest daughter with concern.

"Hey, if you want to have a salad, that's fine hun," Ruby said softly, patting Amanda's shoulder to try to comfort the girl. "I'll be right up with the orders." She left the table and Emma moved to sit next to her daughter.

"Hey, what's going on?" Emma asked. Amanda just shook her head. "Are you still upset over what Alex said this morning?" A sigh told Emma all she needed to know. Oh yeah, Amanda was definitely like her, with the insecurities about herself and all. "Hey, don't do this to yourself. You are an intelligent young woman, and we love you very much."

"Amanda, Ma's right. You impressed me this morning."

"How?" the young girl squeaked out as she glanced at Regina. Her mother smiled at her.

"You got the budget balanced and were able to put some surplus into the town for this year. The idiot financial officer couldn't even do that without a few month's work, you did that in a few hours." Emma smiled at Regina's words and hugged Amanda with one arm.

"I'm proud of you kid."

"It was just simple math," Amanda stated, silently enjoying her Ma's embrace. "Mom's right, the person working the books is an idiot." They all laughed at the comment as Ruby came over and delivered the food.

"What's so funny?" she asked as she set plates down.

"Just the thought that a sixteen year old can outwork a forty-something financial officer at the town hall," Emma replied, shoving a few fries from her plate into her mouth.

"Yeah, that does sound funny," Ruby agreed, then moved away to tend to some other tables. Amanda sprinkled some salt over her salad and dug into her food as well.

Once they were done eating Emma bid them farewell and headed back to the Sheriff's station.

"Do you mind if I go for a walk?" Amanda asked Regina as they exited the diner.

"Where to?"

Amanda shrugged. "Around town. I promise to be home for supper." Regina nodded her approval and hugged her daughter.

"Be safe, I love you," Regina said.

"Always, love you too." Amanda broke the hug, kissing her mother's cheek, and walked off. Regina watched her with a smile on her face before she called Emma.

"Hi honey, just letting you know that Amanda decided to go for a walk around town," Regina informed her wife.

"Okay? She is a big girl now Regina," Emma stated.

"I know, but if you could have either David or Neal look out for her when on patrol it would be appreciated."

Emma chuckled over the line. "They will. They don't want anything happening to her either." Regina disconnected the call, having a feathery feeling like something bad was going to happen even though they were all trying to not let anything happen.


	2. Chapter 2

Amanda found herself sitting on a bench by the docks, looking out into the water and listening to the soft crashes of the water on the rocks. It was her favorite place to go when she was upset. There was just something calming about the white noises of the water.

"Hey!" a jovial voice sounded as Amanda braced for the incoming hug from her best friend. "Thought I'd find you here!" Lacey leaned over and kissed Amanda's cheek.

"On break now Lace?" Amanda asked as her friend sat down next to her.

"Nope, Mom gave me the rest of the day off." Amanda nodded in understanding. "So what was bugging you earlier?"

"It's nothing." Lacey wasn't easily blown off and moved closer, wrapping herself around Amanda's right arm and resting her head on Amanda's shoulder.

"It's not nothing if it has you upset," Lacey countered. "Something Alex said this morning, right?" Amanda shot a glare at her, but Lacey just smiled. "Wolf hearing." Amanda just sighed.

"It's really nothing, Alex was just being…" Amanda couldn't even think of any words.

"Her usual jealous self?" Lacey asked. "She'll get over it. She always does."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Amanda conceded.

"Exactly! Now let's go have some fun!" Amanda stayed rooted as Lacey tried to pull her up. "Oh come on, you toad!"

"Excuse me?" Amanda laughed. "What are you, ten?"

"Hey now, I just want to have some fun with you before you go off to uni." Lacey pouted, sitting back down next to Amanda.

"Woah, now, who said anything about me going to college right now?" Amanda asked.

"Well, it's always a given that when you graduate you'll go off to higher learning." Lacey said it in such a 'duh' voice that Amanda couldn't help but to laugh.

"Not for me right now, Lace. I'm going to give Alex her space and time and let her start college first."

"Well, what are you gonna do in the meantime?" Lacey asked, sitting back down.

"I think Mom is gonna want me to help out with the financial office," Amanda said. "She was amazed at the work I did for the budget this morning."

"That doesn't surprise me," Lacey laughed. "You aced all of your AP math classes." Amanda released a small chuckle.

"Doing high school math and doing accounting are two different things." Amanda sighed as Lacey curled back up into her side. "I just don't know if I want to do that." She turned her head and inhaled her friend's scent. Her hair held the smells of all the food that the diner served, and Amanda chuckled to herself as she turned back to face the waters.

"I'm gonna miss you next year," Lacey said quietly.

"I'm still going to be in Storybrooke Lace," Amanda replied, using her free hand to pat her friend's arm.

"No, I mean at school. You always made it more enjoyable." Amanda smiled at the compliment.

"I'm sorry I had to take away your entertainment then," Amanda chuckled. "But seriously, I might take up working for your mom for a while since I'll have to kill the time somehow until you come to me, begging me to do your homework."

"I do not beg," Lacey stated. "I may be a werewolf, but I do not beg." The girls laughed together at the inside joke. Lacey traced her fingers over the inside of Amanda's arm.

"What are we doing?" she quietly asked after they quieted down.

"What do you mean?" Amanda asked, trying not to over complicate her mind.

"We've been friends for a long time now, right?"

"Since we were babies I think."

"And now we're here." Amanda glanced at Lacey as the girl looked at her with a softness in her eyes.

"Where is 'here' exactly?" Amanda asked. Lacey sighed.

"I've fallen in love with you Amanda," Lacey quietly confessed.

"Lace," Amanda sighed, "we're too young to be in love."

"Says the product of true love," Lacey chuckled. Amanda frowned. "Please, your ma is the product of true love between Snow and David, and you're the product of true love of your moms. And you have the balls to say that you don't believe?"

"I didn't say I didn't believe," Amanda argued. "I just think that we are far too young to be thinking anything about love." Lacey pulled away and stared squarely at Amanda now.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me," she challenged. Amanda laughed and faced her friend.

"That's not fair Lacey, you're my best friend. I think there's a rule that says you cannot not love your best friend."

Lacey smirked and scoffed at Amanda. "So you're telling me that you don't feel anything romantically for me?" Amanda took a moment to look at her, unable to really respond. Part of her wanted to blatantly deny any feelings other than friendship. Yet when she looked at Lacey, she knew she could see herself being with her for a long haul. "What, do you have a thing for Billy?"

"Eww, no way I'd ever be with that jock!" Amanda spat, causing both girls to erupt in another round of laughter. "Okay, fine, maybe I might have a thing for you," she finally confessed. Amanda looked away sheepishly as she tucked a few stray hairs behind her ear. "I just, I want to be sure it's the real thing, you know?"

"Hey, this is real," Lacey stated, kissing her cheek and making Amanda blush. "And this may not be true love like your folks have, but it's our love."

"Is this your way of asking me to be your girlfriend Lace?" Amanda smirked and was answered with a true kiss this time. "Because my answer is yes if it is." Lacey just kissed Amanda again, grinning like an idiot.

"Good to know," Lacey replied, pulling back. "Want me to walk you home?" Amanda shook her head.

"No, I still want to think about what I want to do for at the very least summer." Lacey squeezed her arm and kissed her again.

"Okay, if you need me call me." Amanda watched as Lacey walked away, a slight skip in her step. Amanda chuckled at herself, realizing that at least her best friend was her first love.

It was several hours later, when the sun was starting to set, before Amanda got up and started walking back home. She was kicking a few rocks with her boots, happy as a lark while lost in her thoughts, and not paying attention to her surroundings when she was struck across the head, knocking her unconscious.

[BREAK]

Back at the house Regina was setting dinner out on the table as Emma walked in from the front door. "Supper smells good," Emma commented as she gave Regina a kiss.

"Thanks. Did you see Amanda outside?" Regina asked as her arms wrapped around Emma.

Emma frowned. "No, isn't she home yet?"

"Do you think I'd be asking you if she was?" Emma pulled out of Regina's embrace and moved to the table while pulling out her phone. "I tried calling her but she isn't answering."

"I'm so glad I put the lo-jack on the kids' phones," Emma stated, pulling up the app that allowed her to see where her daughter's phone was. "Says here that she's at the docks." Emma turned the screen off and set the phone down. "She probably lost track of time in her thinking spot. I'll go check on her after I eat."

Regina sighed, not thoroughly convinced as she sat down. "Why do I have a nagging feeling that something is wrong?"

Emma stopped her forkful of potatoes on its way to her mouth. "I'm sure she's fine," Emma reassured, but deep down felt the same nagging feeling that something wasn't right. Amanda rarely missed a meal. It was just part of her routine. Emma barely got her food in her mouth before her phone started ringing. "Sherriff Swan-Mills speaking."

"Emma!" Belle's voice was loud and panicked over the line. Regina looked at Emma as she listened to bell state that Rumpelstiltskin had disappeared on her and the dagger was missing.

"Okay Belle, I'll call David and Neal and we'll start looking immediately," Emma informed and disconnected the line.

"You don't think-?" Regina started as they both got up quickly.

"Unfortunately I do think that this is involving Amanda," she responded, dialing the number for her brother and father. "Whoever took the dagger also kidnapped Amanda." When the other two sheriffs answered the line Emma informed them of Rumple's and Amanda's disappearances, telling them to search high and low for the two, and disconnected the phone. Regina had already taken off for her study to cast a tracking spell to find her daughter. Both women were in momma bear mode.


	3. Chapter 3

Amanda woke up with a pounding in her head, making her groan from the pain. Her hands found purchase on moist concrete as she slowly pushed herself into a sitting position, taking in her surroundings.

"Glad to see you awake lass," a cocky voice sounded to her ears. She carefully lifted her eyes to see Hook standing next to a bound Rumple. "I was fearing that maybe for a second I hit you a little too hard." A quick glance around revealed that they were in one of the boat houses used for washing whatever vessels needed to be drydocked for a while.

"I thought my moms banished you from Storybrooke?" she asked as she pressed against the pounding in her head, pulling her hand away to check if there was any blood along with the egg she felt. Slowly she stood.

Hook smirked. "I'm not much one for rules love," he said. "Not unless they are in my favor."

"What do you want then, Guyliner?" she taunted, using one of the nicknames she heard Regina mutter once before about the pirate. Amanda carefully was taking into account that Mr. Gold was bound and he wasn't even fighting.

After hearing the Guyliner comment, Hook's smirk disappeared and he got into her face. "Listen here, lass," he said as he held her by the throat. "Your mothers aren't the goodie goodie type. They both took away my happy ending, so now it is fitting that I should get the same to them." Before she could comprehend what was going on she had something shoved into her hand and was pushed towards Mr. Gold.

A grunt from them both erupted as they collided, but when Amanda looked into his eyes, she saw a mix of fear and pain. She looked down and gasped when she saw the dagger buried to the hilt into Gold's stomach. "I'm sorry," Gold whispered as the life drained quickly from his body.

"No," she gasped, pulling the dagger out and dropping it as if it had just been in flames. "No, Mr. Gold, hold on." Despite her attempts to have him hold onto life his eyes glassed over and she felt a power enter her that was nearly overwhelming. "What did you do?!" she yelled at Hook. Before she closed her eyes to deal with the darkness swirling into her vision she saw him smirking at her, then she felt as if she was being swallowed into a dark vortex.

Hook was just reaching for the dropped dagger when Emma and Regina burst through the door, Emma shooting his hand with her gun. "Don't move," Emma growled at him. A simple glance at her could tell the pirate that if he didn't comply to whatever it was she told him, he would be dead in an instant. "Where is she?"

[BREAK]

Amanda came to surrounded by trees and standing on a platform. Not a platform, her mind registered. She could feel the magic around her humming. The symbols under her feet looked familiar, but she was having a hard time placing them.

"And so begins another's journey," Rumple's voice sounded, making her jump and spin around. There was something off about his voice though, and when she caught sight of him, she gasped.

"Mr. Gold?" she acknowledged, stepping towards him with morbid curiosity. His skin was a greenish-gold hue, and what on earth is he wearing? she thought, taking in the brown and black leather ensemble. And what am I wearing? she glanced down at the simple grey dress on her body.

"Maybe that was my name where you were from, dearie, but now I'm just Rumpelstiltskin." Amanda stopped her advance and tilted her head with a confused look on her face.

"No one calls you that anymore though, except Belle," Amanda stated. "Not unless…"

"They need the Dark One, eh?" he chuckled. Her brows furrowed more.

"But, didn't I just watch you die?"

"That you did dearie!" His voice was too happy as he said that. "You killed me."

A look of horror replaced her confusion. "No, I didn't, Hook pushed me into you-"

"And you stabbed me with the dagger, and took the Dark One's life!"

"It was an accident!" she cried out.

"That doesn't matter dearie. You held the dagger, you killed me, now you are the new Dark One!" He released a little giggle as she stepped back.

"No, no, that can't be!" She looked down at her hands, knees threatening to give out. "It wasn't my fault, IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" she screamed, and suddenly she was back at the dry docks, seeing Emma slam Hook into the wall. "You!" she exclaimed, drawing everyone's attention to her sudden appearance. "You did this, you monster!" Her knees finally did give way as sobs started wrenching from her throat.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, it's gonna be okay," Regina said, wrapping her up in a tight embrace, finally relieved that she had her daughter back in her arms. Emma took the moment to hit Hook over the head with the butt of her pistol, knocking him out cold before approaching them. A glint caught her eye and she moved over to the dagger as Regina was still soothing their daughter. Emma was confused as to why the Dark One's dagger was laying freely until she saw the name on the blade.

"Regina," she called as dread started filling her. Regina looked up at her wife as she rocked their daughter in her arms. "We have an issue." Emma held out the dagger to show Regina. She stopped rocking Amanda as realization hit her.

"No," she whispered, holding her daughter closer. "No, it can't be." Amanda's sobs had died down but she was still shaking. "Not Amanda."

"Sweetie," Emma called softly as she knelt down in front of her daughter. "What happened?"

"I didn't mean to Mama," Amanda said, her voice still shaky and rough from crying. "Hook put the dagger in my hand and pushed me into Mr. Gold." Emma was torn between wanting to hold her daughter tightly for the injustice done to her and going to beat the life out of the stupid pirate that ruined her little girl's life. "It was an accident, I didn't mean to kill him."

"I know that baby girl," Emma soothed, her motherly side taking the lead. "I don't think you ever had a mean bone in your body."

"Emma," Regina softly said to her wife, a worried look in her chocolate eyes. "Will you be able to take him back to the station without killing him or should we call Neal? Because we need to take her home." Emma's green orbs glanced over at the crumpled heap of human mass near the wall and formed a cold look to them.

"I really don't trust myself right now," she said and pulled out her phone to call her brother. Neal and David arrived just a short time later. "Take that garbage to the station, start a report of manslaughter against him, as well as child endangerment," Emma instructed to them.

"Who did he kill?" David asked as Neal clenched his jaw at the child endangerment comment, glancing over at his sister-in-law and niece.

"He forced Amanda to kill Gold," Emma said quietly, steel still in her eyes. Both men looked in shock first at Emma then over at Amanda, then back to Emma.

"Emma, that's-" David started but Emma cut him off.

"Not good, I know. Her name is already on the dagger." David looked almost fearful at the news. "Look, Regina and I just want to get her home so she can rest and I want him to be locked up until I can deal with his ass, so please, do what I told you and let us take care of our daughter."

"Okay," Neal said before his father could say anything more, knowing that his sister just wanted to comfort her daughter while all the news sank in. "Go, we got this." Emma nodded at him and went back to her family as the men grabbed the pirate, dragging him out while Regina's purple haze was the only visual sign that they were gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Amanda was in an exhausted haze as they materialized into the living room. Even though her mothers were teaching her how to harness her own powers little by little as she got older, the sudden onslaught of dark magic coursing through her body was exhausting to her. Topped on that was the fact that she had been sobbing in Regina's arms and the guilt that she killed someone, all she wanted to do was lay down and not move. Regina and Emma guided her to the couch and as soon as she was put on the cushions she laid down across them. Regina grabbed one of the blankets and draped it over her daughter before she kissed her forehead, then gently pulled Emma towards the doorway so they could talk but still be near their daughter.

"What are we gonna do, Gina?" Emma asked in near whisper. "She didn't deserve this."

"I know, I don't know though," Regina answered, leaning into her wife's chest. "I do know that even though it was accidental, killing Gold left a spot of darkness on her heart." Regina buried her face into Emma's shoulder. "She's too young for this burden."

"Isn't there a way to remove the darkness?" Emma asked, her arms wrapped around Regina and hands running up and down her back.

"Not without killing her," Regina nearly cried, tears threatened to spill at the thought of the death of her daughter. "And even then, whoever would do that would be tethered to the darkness then themselves. It's a never ending cycle with that." They were still standing in their embrace in by the doorway when the front door opened and Alex came home.

"Why do I have the feeling that something bad happened?" she asked as she approached her mothers. Both Regina and Emma shared the same pained look on their faces as they turned to look at her. "Something bad did happen, didn't it?"

"You remember Mr. Gold, right?" Regina asked, though it was more of a rhetorical question. Almost everyone in town knew Mr. Gold. Their family had more dealings with him though because he was Henry's grandfather. "He's dead."

"What? How?" Alex asked, baffled.

"Because I killed him." Amanda's voice sounded out quietly from behind their moms. As Regina and Emma turned around they saw how their youngest had her arms wrapped around her chest and she looked as if she was trying to curl into herself to disappear.

"Why were you that stupid?" Alex huffed.

"Alex," Emma scolded, turning back to her other daughter. Alex acted as if she didn't hear her.

"Didn't Mom and Ma teach you that he was the Dark One?" With every word Alex spoke Amanda seemed to collapse more into herself, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "Didn't you remember what happens when someone kills the Dark One?"

"Alex," Emma said again, a little more forcefully this time.

"I didn't have a choice!" Amanda snapped back, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Hook made me."

"'Hook made you'? Yeah right, that one-handed freak was told never to come back to Storybrooke before you were born."

"Alexis Marie," Regina tried interrupting their daughters but the attempt was futile.

"Well he came back," Amanda informed Alex. "He came back and forced me to kill. Are you happy now? My life is ruined, you get to be the perfect daughter now."

"ENOUGH!" Regina yelled, causing everyone to jump. "Alexis Marie, you stop with tormenting your sister and go to your room."

"But-"

"GO." Regina's voice commanded power that she hadn't used since she was the Evil Queen. Alex timidly moved for the stairs, casting one last disgusted look at Amanda before going up. Emma watched as her wife took a moment to bring herself back to a calm state. The nearly furious look in Regina's eyes softened as she looked at Amanda. The young girl looked so broken, eyes brimming with tears. "Amanda-"

"I'll be fine," she said quickly, trying to disperse any pity that might be thrown at her. She turned away from her mothers and moved back to the couch to sit down.

"You deal with her, I'll deal with Alex," Emma quietly said, giving Regina's arm a squeeze before going up the stairs. Regina moved to sit down next to Amanda.

"I have no doubt you will be okay sweetie, but I'm more concerned with how you are now." Amanda let go of a long breath.

"You want the honest truth Mom?" Amanda said with a slight laugh. "I feel like I'm suffocating yet I need to run." She looked at Regina as a tear slipped from the corner of her eye. "Is this how you felt when you were surrounded by the darkness?"

"Not exactly," Regina said, wrapping her arm around Amanda as she curled into Regina's side. "When I was using magic for darkness, it was more my choice, and it felt, well, good, to do whatever I wanted to do without much fear for consequences. It doesn't mean it was right though. You know the stories, I took so many lives, mostly in the name of vengeance, but really just because I could. I always had a part of me though that told me it was wrong. After I cast the curse, my conscious did get to me. By the time I adopted your brother, I was trying to atone for my past."

"But Henry thought you were still the Evil Queen when he found Ma," Amanda said in a questioning tone. Regina chuckled a bit as she ran her hand through Amanda's hair.

"He did, yes. But I was also wanting to just do right by him. He was my world. And then your Ma came into my life, and fear had me regressing back into that person I tried so hard to shed. It took some time for me to come around and not be afraid anymore."

"Mom?" Amanda questioned as she tilted her head to look at Regina's face. "Do you think…" Amanda started to ask but trailed off.

"Do I think what honey?" Amanda took a deep breath.

"I'm just scared that the darkness is going to overwhelm me." Regina kissed her daughter's forehead in an attempt to calm her daughter as well as herself. "I don't want to lose myself or you guys."

"Amanda, I'm going to say this once here, you are the product of true love. That's the most powerful magic there is. If anyone can keep themselves from being overwhelmed by the darkness, it's you." Amanda snuggled closer into her side, and they both fell asleep shortly after. This was the position that Emma found them in when she came back downstairs from having a long discussion with Alex about her behaviors towards her little sister. The scene was just perfect that Emma couldn't resist taking a picture with her phone, then covered mother and daughter with a blanket.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning found both Amanda and Regina with sore bodies as they woke up from their positions on the couch. Amanda muttered an apology as her mother groaned softly from stiff, sore muscles, but one look from Regina kept her from saying more. Regina would gladly suffer the soreness if it meant that her baby girl felt safe from everything she went through with Hook and Gold.

"Are you hungry?" Regina asked. Amanda shook her head but the rumble of her stomach told Regina otherwise. "Pancakes okay?"

"Can we eat at Granny's?" Amanda asked with downcast eyes. Regina smiled and agreed, silently glad that she asked because she was still exhausted. They both headed upstairs to change and on her way to the master bedroom Regina noticed that Alexis and Emma were both absent from the house. Once in the bedroom she found a note on the dresser from Emma stating that she had headed out to the station to file the full report on Killian. Regina bit her lip as she thought about how that might have been a bad idea considering how murderous Emma had been just the night before, but also trusted her wife to not make any irrational decisions. When it came to their children though, Regina knew Emma was most likely the first to snap to protect them. She quickly changed and met Amanda down by the car and they drove down to the diner.

[BREAK]

Emma sat in her office with the doors closed, trying to blare her music from her iPod as she stared at the papers in front of her. Her anger had come back with a vengeance since she stepped foot into the station, David taking off a few minutes after she settled into the office stating he got a dispatch call about Pongo being loose again. She was trying not to glance up and out the glass door to the holding cells, where Killian was sitting.

Every few words she wrote she had to push the keyboard away, just thinking of what Amanda had told her when they found her, and of what she knew the outcome of what happened was, made her blood nearly boil and her vision turn red. She finally had enough of trying to write the report (what was left of it anyways after what David had wrote) that she hit the save button and stormed out of the office towards the cells.

"Why'd you do it Killian?" she asked, trying but failing to hide the venom in her voice.

"Do what, love?" he drawled as he sat up on the cot.

"You know what, and don't call me 'love', I never was that to you."

"Yes you were, remember Neverland?" he said with a smirk. "Remember that kiss we shared?"

"You mean the one that made me want to vomit?" she snarled. "Cut the crap, Killian. Why'd you make my daughter kill Gold?"

"You just said it," he said, standing up and moving towards the bars. Emma's brows furrowed. "I needed the Crocodile dead. I also wanted you to suffer for hurting me like you did. It was just a convenience that you have such a pretty daughter, even though she is an abomination to the world."

Emma finally saw full red as she made the bars disappear and attacked Killian.

[BREAK]

Down at the diner Regina and Amanda were just finishing up their meal when Regina gasped in pain.

"What is it Mom?" Amanda asked her as she clutched her chest. Worry was evident on her face.

"Emma," Regina groaned, and Amanda wrapped her arm around her mother, picturing her other mother, and they disappeared in a grey haze of smoke. When they rematerialized inside the sheriff's station, both Regina and Amanda were shocked to see Emma wailing into an already bloody Hook. "Emma, stop!" Regina called out rushing over to her wife and pulling her off of him. "You'll kill him!"

"Good!" Emma spat, struggling against her wife. "He should die!"

"You don't need his death on your hands," Regina argued.

"He hurt our baby, Regina, he needs to pay."

"This isn't the way though Mama," Amanda said, coming forward and grasping Emma's bloodied hands to look her in the eyes. "I know how tempting it is to kill him. I can feel the darkness wanting me to kill him right now for what he did. But I'm fighting it. You need to fight the darkness too, Mama, please." The desperation in both Amanda's voice and her eyes spoke volumes to Emma.

"Listen to our daughter, Emma," Regina backed. "We'll figure out another way to punish him."

Emma caved and wrapped her arms around Amanda. "I'm sorry sweetie. I'm so sorry."

Amanda hugged her back tightly and Regina moved to make sure the pirate was still alive, even though she could really care less about him. She was more concerned about the emotional well being of her family. Indeed he was still alive, but unconscious. Regina was sure that if they had been just a few moments later Emma would have surely killed him. Regina took a step back and waved her hand, her magic putting the cell bars back into place.

"I think your brother and father should run the station for the duration of this scum's placement here," Regina said as she turned back to them. "If this is any indication that you cannot be here right now, I don't know what is.

"I think you're right," Emma agreed, not letting go of Amanda, for the girl was acting as her anchor at the moment to sanity. "David will be back soon, we can let him know then."

"Let me know what?" David asked as he came through the doorway. He took in the sight of Emma and Amanda hugging, Regina near the cells, and Hook in a bloody mess on the floor. "What happened while I was gone?"

"He's not dead if that's what you are thinking," Regina said as she moved in front of her family in an unconscious move of protection.

"Didn't say he was, not that I'd blame anyone though." David sat down on the edge of a nearby desk. "I'm surprised he didn't look like that sooner."

"Dad, you and Neal are going to have to run the station by yourselves until he's gone."

"Of course."

"By the way, where's the dagger?" Regina asked her wife and father-in-law, noticing with her quick eye how Amanda flinched at the mention of the weapon. Emma pulled herself from Amanda's grip and moved towards her office. Amanda wrapped her arms around herself as she kept glancing at the cell containing the pirate and then into the corner. Regina was busy watching how her daughter kept twitching and muttering, her fist clenching and unclenching, when Emma came back by her.

"Here," she said, handing the dagger to Regina.

"Do you think it's a smart move to keep the dagger around you guys?" David asked. "As much as I love my granddaughter, she is the new Dark One." Emma cast him a dark glare.

"Do you two see that?" Regina said quietly, causing the other two to huddle in closer to her as she went back to watching Amanda, who started pacing at the other end of the room. "Something's going on in her head, I'm guessing it's the darkness fighting her to just kill him. She's resisting so hard." Both David and Emma watched her for a moment.

"Maybe you should use the dagger to command her to not kill him," David suggested and Amanda's head snapped in their direction.

"No!" she exclaimed coming closer to the group of adults now, her eyes locked on Regina's. "Please don't use the dagger on me, Mom. I'm fighting the darkness, I promise. Just please don't use it."

"I won't," Regina promised, tucking the dagger into the waistband of her slacks. "Not unless I have to, okay?" She placed her hands on Amanda's shoulders. "As long as you can continue to show you can fight the darkness while we try to figure out how to remove it safely from you, I won't use the dagger on you. I won't let anyone use it on you." A small glare was sent to David before she turned back to Amanda. Amanda nodded, leaning into Regina for a hug. Regina happily complied, sending a worried glance to Emma who mirrored her expression.

"We are going to go home now. Unless you have gotten rid of the trash around here, do not call me in," Emma stated, ushering her wife and daughter out. After a moment of stepping outside Emma noticed that Regina's Mercedes wasn't at the station. "Um, how did you guys get here?" she asked.

Regina opened her mouth to answer, but was slightly baffled as well. It was Amanda who finally spoke up. "I think I did," she said. "Mom was just having pain and clutching her chest and uttered your name, and I wanted to get us to you quickly, and then we appeared in the station."

Both mothers looked at Amanda with concern before Emma spoke up. "Honey, you used magic to transport, just like Mom and I do," Emma explained.

"Does that mean I used dark magic?" Amanda asked, worried.

"It means that you tapped into the dark powers, yes," Regina said. "Right now, any use of your magic is tapping into the dark powers." Seeing the panic in her daughter's eyes she continued. "It's not that this is necessarily a bad thing, but we just don't want you to be tempted by darkness." Amanda nodded again. "Let's just go home," Regina said as she hugged her daughter and guided her to the yellow bug.


	6. Chapter 6

It was nearly a week later and though Amanda was having a rough time sleeping and resting in general, both Regina and Emma were glad that she was refraining from using the dark magic. It was made a little easier on the family when Neal had called to inform them that Killian was no longer in Storybrooke and that he would never find his way back again. No one wanted to know exactly what he meant by that, and no one questioned it.

During the days Amanda spent time going through books that were at Gold's Pawn shop, seeing as Belle let her in. Belle held no grudges against Amanda for killing Gold; she knew that it wasn't the girl's fault. Henry even took time off from his job in Portland to help out. As much as everyone was trying to help solve the situation, Amanda still felt like she was suffocating slowly.

It was a shock to her one night when she ran into Alex as she was leaving Granny's diner.

"Watch where you're going, dipshit," Alex spat. Amanda frowned.

"What did I do to you now, Alex?" Amanda asked her. "What did I do to make you hate me?"

"You're existing," Alex sneered.

"Well I'm sorry, but I never asked to be born. But I was, and we are sisters."

Alex scoffed as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Only by blood."

"Seriously, what the hell Alex?" Amanda exclaimed, throwing her hands up. "I hate this, I hate how you are treating me. I'm sorry about high school, okay? It's not like I planned on being put in the same grade as you. I never wanted that. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Get out of my face, brat," Alex tried to push past her, but Amanda grabbed her arm.

"No, Alex. I won't. Mom and Ma aren't here to scold you for treating me like crap right now. And frankly I wish they would stop because it doesn't seem to do any good. For some ungodly reason you hate me with all that you have, and I really wish you didn't, because I miss my sister, I miss the way we used to be." Alex yanked her arm away and walked into the diner without another glance to Amanda. Amanda sighed in defeat and walked home.

Alex watched through the window as her little sister walked away as Ruby approached her at the counter. "You really should stop doing that," Ruby chided.

"Stop doing what?" Alex asked as she looked at Ruby.

"Treating her like you are. Don't tell me you're not, I can see it in your faces and hear when you two argue outside my diner." Alex cringed a little. "I know it pissed you off about the whole schooling thing, but my advice is to grow up and get over it." Ruby turned around and grabbed a hot chocolate, setting it in front of Alex. "She's your little sister and she's going through a lot of shit right now."

"What, getting fawned over by nearly the entire town?" Alex snipped. Ruby frowned at her.

"Don't you know what happened to her?" Ruby asked, slightly angry.

"She killed Mr. Gold and became the new Dark One everyone has to fear now."

"Alexis," Ruby sighed. "She didn't do it on purpose. She was forced to. Do you honestly believe Amanda would willingly kill, especially with what your family knows about magic?"

Alex looked guiltily into her mug. "No," she muttered.

"She never asked for the burden of being the Dark One, of taking a life. It wouldn't kill you to mature and be there for her like you were when you were younger." Ruby left her sitting with that comment and went to wait on other customers. Alex knew she was acting like a spoiled brat, and it hurt to have Ruby, who was practically their aunt, scolding her like she was. Alex couldn't even bring herself to drink the hot chocolate that was given to her. Instead she got up and left the diner, wandering down the street.

"What's a pretty thing like you doing alone on a night like this?" a voice from a darkened corner said, startling Alex.

"Lost in my thoughts," she replied, turning and walking away. Footsteps sounded and she could tell the owner of the voice was following her.

"Care to tell me?" the man whom the voice belonged to asked.

"Just family stuff."

"Ah yes, family. It's a wonderful thing." The man chuckled, giving Alex an uneasy feeling. He remained quiet for a little bit as he trailed Alex, who decided to not walk home as she didn't know who this stranger was and didn't want him to know where she lived. "Tell me," he started again, "what do your parents do?"

"Doesn't matter," she replied. Nearly everyone in Storybrooke knew that her moms were the mayor and sheriff, and if they didn't then they must be from out of town.

"Oh, but it does," he said, a darkness entering his voice as he grabbed her arm. Alex was too terrified at that point to scream. "Let me guess, your mother is Mayor Mills, correct?"

"Swan-Mills," she automatically corrected. "It's Mayor Swan-Mills."

"Ah, yes, one of Regina's girls." He chuckled again, raising goosebumps on Alex's skin. "You look like her when she was young. Tell me, do you think your mother will save you?"

"What?" she gasped, and was taken aback when he wrapped one arm around her and put a cloth over her face, knocking her unconscious.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Trigger warning: Rape talked about in this chapter. Proceed with caution.

Amanda had gotten home ten minutes after her confrontation with Alex and was still on the verge of tears from Alex ignoring her. She remembered when they were younger how Alex used to be the one to show her how to do almost everything, whether it was homework or making pancakes one Mother's day that nearly started the kitchen on fire. Amanda didn't know where that side of her sister went, but she missed her.

As she sighed as she sat down on the couch in front of a few books, she remembered nearly four years earlier when she was just at the end of the sixth grade, Alex was finishing her eighth, and the school was doing placement tests. Amanda had scored exceptionally high in everything, and it was a shock when her mothers were called into the guidance counselor's office. When Ms. Potts went over her previous year's grades and the test results, Amanda had admitted that she felt bored in her current classes. It was offered to let her test out of the seventh and eighth grades and she started high school the next fall. That was when she noticed that Alex started becoming more distant with her. They shared a few classes during their high school careers, but Amanda tried to stay in her big sister's good graces. Needless to say it didn't really work, as any time Amanda tried to be included in something Alex was doing she was always either turned down or turned away.

Regardless, Amanda still idolized her. Alex got to walk across the graduation stage first, and Amanda paid close attention to what she did so she wouldn't be a clutz and mess up her own walk. When it was time for pictures Amanda tried to put her arm around her sister but Alex pushed her off, an action that didn't go unnoticed by Regina and Emma. They had seen how Alex sent a sneering look at Amanda and how Amanda's bright smile dimmed. Regina was going to talk to Alex but it was Amanda's persistence that stopped her.

Here they were, just a few weeks later, and Alex still had the same attitude that she had that graduation day. Amanda closed her eyes for a moment, wishing her sister didn't hate her so much, and felt a lone tear escape down her cheek. Taking a deep breath she wiped it away.

"What are the tears for?" Emma asked as she approached the couch with two mugs in her hand, brimming with whipped cream and a dusting of cinnamon.

"Nothing," Amanda said, accepting one of the mugs offered to her. She took a sip, relishing the fact that hot cocoa with cinnamon was something that she, Alex, Henry, and Emma had all gotten from Snow White. Regina had even developed a taste for it over the years.

"Okay," Emma said nonchalantly, knowing better than to push her daughter on something she didn't want to talk about unless she had to. She took a seat on the couch next to Amanda and sipped from her own mug. "How was your day?"

"It was okay, got to spend some time with Lacey at the diner." Emma couldn't help but notice the smile forming on Amanda's face as she mentioned Lacey.

"I heard that you two are closer now. Do I have to worry that you're gonna cause any trouble in town?"

"Mama," Amanda laughed. "It's nothing."

Emma smiled at her with a knowing look. "Not according to Ruby it's not. Heard you two are dating now." Amanda blushed, diverting her eyes back into her mug. "So it is true."

"Yes," Amanda quietly admitted. "She asked me before everything happened." The smile disappeared from Amanda's face then. "Maybe it was a bad idea."

"Now why do you think that?"

"Ma, I can't, I shouldn't be, around anyone while I have the darkness in me."

"Everyone has darkness, Amanda. You just have to chose to see the light through it." Emma's phone buzzed and she got up to answer it in the other room. Amanda set her mug down on the table and sighed before she frowned. She couldn't place the feeling exactly, but if felt as if someone was calling to her, trying to summon her. After a moment a voice rang out in her mind.

"Alex," she breathed as realization dawned on her that her sister was calling for her. Amanda disappeared in her now signature grey smoke and reappeared in a dark portion of the forest.

"HELP!" Alex's scream echoed around her through the early night. The sheer terror of the tone sent shivers down Amanda's back.

"No one can hear you, not out here," Amanda heard a male voice say, followed by a laugh and then a scream. Fearing more for her sister's safety than her own she took off running towards where she heard noises of struggle. The sight that greeted her was nothing she was prepared for: Alex pinned to the ground, her skirt from earlier thrown haphazardly to the side, and a dark-skinned male moving atop her. Amanda could hear the sobs coming from Alex as he ran a hand down her side.

"Get off of her," Amanda growled as she approached them. The man stopped his movements and looked up at her.

"Ah, if it isn't the bitch's other bastard child," he chuckled, placing a kiss on Alex's cheek before rising to his feet. Amanda felt disgusted to see that his pants were off and his penis was erect. "You're just in time for the fun." Amanda saw red in that moment, hearing Alex crying and seeing the disgusting man standing before her, that she waved her hand and sent him flying through the trees, hearing a thud come from the darkness as she guessed he hit a tree. She didn't waste time worrying about him though as she moved to Alex's side, she barely touched Alex's hand when her sister jerked away with a cry.

"Alex, it's okay, he's not here, it's just me," Amanda said soothingly, trying to calm her older sister. Alex took a moment to look at Amanda as realization formed on her face.

"You came," she cried, flinging herself into Amanda's arms. "I didn't think you'd hear me."

"Shhh, I've got you," Amanda said, holding her big sister close. "You're gonna be okay." Amanda wanted to get them to safety before the man might come back and attack them, so she focused on transporting them home, enveloping them in smoke before they reappeared back at the mansion. Alex was still crying, clinging for dear life to Amanda, as they fully appeared in the foyer. "We're home," Amanda whispered into her hair, not daring to let go of her sister. "You're safe."

"What the hell happened?" Emma's voice sounded over them as Amanda heard her approach them. She felt Alex flinch in her hold and looked up to see an angry but concerned look on her mother as she looked at her two daughters.

"I don't know," Amanda answered. "All I know is Alex called for me and when I showed up, some guy was attacking her." Alex's shaking and sobbing increased. "Shh, shh, it's okay," Amanda turned back to soothing her older sister. "It's going to be okay."

"Emma, have you-"Regina's voice trailed off as she walked into the foyer from the front door and took in the sight before her. Alex, half naked, wrapped in Amanda's arms; the younger sibling attempting to soothe the older; Emma standing on the other side of them and looking like she was ready to murder someone. "What's going on?"

"Someone attacked Alexis and Amanda saved her," Emma said through clenched teeth. Regina frowned as Emma wasn't even focusing on anyone else but Alex, as if the girl was going to say right away who attacked her so Emma could go and take out her anger. Then she noted that Emma had said "Amanda saved her". Regina knelt down next to their daughters and placed a hand on Alex's arm, only to pull it back as the girl jumped at the touch. It appeared the only person she was allowing to touch her was Amanda. Regina met Amanda's eyes and saw sadness and worry in the blue orbs.

"Alexis, sweetheart, do you know who did this to you?" Regina softly asked. Alex shook her head no.

"He-he only, re-refered to you, you as, Mayor Mmmills," she sobbed out. "Said, said I loo-looked like you when, when you were young-younger."

"Shh, Alex, it's okay," Amanda soothed, trying to get her to calm down. "It's okay Sissy, I got you." Amanda took a moment to look up at Regina. "I know it was dark out, but he seemed to have a darker skin tone. I'm sorry I didn't get a better look."

"It's okay," Regina said, touching Amanda's arm this time. "I think I know who it was." She looked up at Emma and saw a slight hint of confusion mixed with the anger. Sydney, she mouthed, and Emma nodded.

"Alex, baby, I know this is painful to think of, but did he touch you?" Emma asked, moving closer and kneeling down next to the girls. She noticed how Amanda's jaw clenched and how Alex seemed to try to make herself even smaller in her sister's arms. "Alexis?"

"Did he rape you Sissy?" Amanda asked, needing to hear the answer, no matter how bad it might anger her. Alex nodded yes into Amanda's chest, sobs starting anew. Amanda took a deep breath to try to keep herself calm, barely registering the change in demeanor with their mothers at the confession.

"We need to get her to the hospital," Emma stated, forcing calm around herself and snapping into full sheriff mode. "They need to do a rape kit."

"Amanda, do you think you can help her get to the car?" Regina asked carefully.

"No, I'll take her straight to the ER," Amanda answered, her magic flaring to life as she focused on getting her and Alex to the emergency room. She barely registered that Regina had tagged along for the ride since she was touching Amanda's arm. When they rematerialized they were standing but Alex was still in her arms.

"Mayor Swan-Mills," the receptionist greeted as she saw Regina. "What-?"

"My daughter was raped," Regina said, all business. "She needs to be seen." The look the receptionist had was of pure shock. No one really dared to hurt the Swan-Mills family, yet both of the youngest children were attacked and harmed within a week of each other.

"Of course." The nurse brought out a wheelchair and Amanda helped Alex to sit down into it, holding her hand as they rolled her through the doors and down to a room. The nurse was just helping Alex get situated on the bed when Dr. Whale came in.

"I'm going to need you and Amanda to leave the room for a little bit," he said as he looked at Regina.

"Why?" she asked as Alex started to freak out, clutching Amanda harder and crying. While Regina dealt with Whale Amanda was busy trying to calm Alex back down.

"I need to do the exam and anyone that isn't medical staff needs to leave," he explained, glancing around the room. "It's a possible contamination risk of evidence."

"No, please," Alex cried.

"Doctor Whale, can't I just sit up by her head and keep her calm? I'm sure having Alex calm would help your exam," Amanda asked, extremely reluctant to leave her clinging sister.

"It's hospital protocol," he said, shaking his head. Amanda nodded and turned back to Alex.

"Hey, I have to leave your side for a few moments-"

"NO!" The grip on Amanda's hand tightened. "Don't leave me, please!"

"Hey, hey, I'm not leaving you, not really," Amanda softly told her, taking her other hand and swiping a few loose hairs away from terrified hazel eyes. "Okay? I'm just gonna stand on the other side of the door with Mom, okay? I'm not gonna let anyone hurt my big sister." She could still see the terror in her eyes even as Alex's grip loosened. "I came for you once, remember? All you need to do is call for me if it gets to be too much. But Doctor Whale needs to-"

"NOT HIM!" Alex exclaimed, her grip tightening again, tears flowing a bit fiercer again. Amanda felt like her heart dropped to her stomach as she watched Alex's reactions.

"Isn't there another doctor who can do the exam?" Regina asked him. "Clearly she's been traumatized enough."

"I'm the only one on call," he said with a hint of regret. "I can have one of the nurses do the actual collection of evidence though, I'll just supervise."

"Hear that Alex, he won't touch you," Amanda tried to calm. "He just has to be here because he's in charge." Alex looked between everyone in the room before letting her eyes land back on Amanda and nodded.

"Just outside the door?" she confirmed, her voice shaky but quieter.

"Just outside the door," Amanda confirmed, squeezing her hand and giving her a smile. She turned to follow Regina out the door and stopped in front of Whale, smile disappearing. "Hurt her even mentally and I'll make whatever Rumple ever did in the world look like child's play compared to what I will do to you," she said quietly but darkly, causing Whale to visibly and audibly gulp. Amanda knew that it was mostly an empty threat, but Whale didn't need to know that. She walked out of the room and stood next to Regina as two more nurses entered the room and closed the door.

"Amanda?" Regina said, placing a hand on Amanda's shoulder as the girl watched everything going on through the window. "Are you okay?"

"Better than Alex, Mom," Amanda answered quietly. "I can understand Killian attacking me, but why would anyone attack Alex? Who would attack her?" She turned to Regina, eyes brimming with tears. "This makes no sense."

"You're right, it makes no sense," Regina agreed. "But your mom and I both have enemies still in town. Not many anymore, but a few." Amanda sighed and looked back through the window.

"I knew when I got there he was raping her Mom," she whispered. "When he stood to face me, his pants were off." Regina felt anger boiling in her blood but kept herself calm for her daughter. "I got so angry, and then the power just…" Amanda shook her head. "I didn't mean to use it, but if I didn't she would have been hurt more."

"Powers are typically fueled by emotions," Regina stated.

"It's not just that though, it felt… good, great even to release the power and protect her." Amanda turned back to Regina. "Is there anything recorded that a Dark One used their powers to simply protect? To do good instead of evil?"

Regina frowned, thinking on Amanda's question. The only Dark One she had known to date had been Rumpelstiltskin, and he had manipulated her for his own causes back in the Enchanted Forest. "Most Dark Ones through history have used their powers for evil," Regina tried explaining. "They may have started with good intents, but eventually the power got to them. That much power is alluring, how do you think I became the Evil Queen?" Regina smiled at Amanda and wrapped her arm around her and kissed her head.

"I'm sure none of the past Dark Ones were products of true love though," Amanda said, turning her attention back through the window.

"Hey guys," Emma greeted as she approached them from the ER doors. Regina turned to her as Amanda merely glanced at her other mother then went back to watching the room. "So we won't have to worry about Sydney."

"It was him?" Regina asked, shocked that her thought was correct.

"Yeah, I followed Amanda's magic trail to the area where they had been, and it took me a little bit, but his body was hanging on a branch in a tree."

"What do you mean hanging?"

Emma glanced at Amanda before answering her wife. "Looks like he took a flying lesson and the branch he was hanging on, well, more like skewered on, was about ten feet up."

"Sorry," Amanda muttered. Emma cocked an eyebrow at her daughter.

"She used her magic on him to get him away from them," Regina relayed the information to her.

"Well, I won't complain, he was missing his pants. Found those near where there was some scuffle marks on the ground. Thank god this is Storybrooke and not Boston, I'm not sure how this would be explained to anyone else."

"So he's dead then," Amanda more stated than asked.

"Yeah." Amanda nodded and her shoulders visibly relaxed. Emma looked at Regina and moved closer to Amanda. "He didn't hurt you, did he?" she asked.

"He didn't get a chance to," Amanda said. Emma closed her eyes and released a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. Silently she was relieved that Amanda had used her powers. If she hadn't… it wasn't something Emma wanted to think about happening to her daughters, especially since she was now facing her own old demons with her oldest girl. Looking past Amanda, she saw how broken Alex looked laying on the hospital bed surrounded by the nurses and Doctor Whale.

"Are you okay?" Regina quietly asked her, and Emma was startled slightly at how close her wife had approached without her noticing. Regina was worried about Emma, knowing how her wife must be having flashbacks to when she was in the foster system.

"I'll be fine," Emma reassured her, pulling Regina away a few steps from Amanda. "I'm worried about those two." Regina nodded. "I'm worried about Alexis because of what she went through, and I'm worried about Amanda because of the darkness now in her."

"We may not have to worry quite so much about Amanda," Regina said. "I know we worry over her a lot, but she's tougher than she looks. Reminds me quite a bit of you." Emma smiled at her wife. Emma was about to say something when Amanda's movement through the door caught her attention. She saw that Alex was throwing a punch at a nurse and Amanda was right next to her in a second, attempting to calm her back down. She heard the muffled voice of Whale and saw Amanda shoot a glare at him before her mouth moved, but the sound was too quiet for anyone outside the room to hear. Emma imagined it was a threat of some sort, because in the next moment she sat down on the bed behind Alex and held her older sister against her. "For as much as they fought the past four years, I'm not surprised that Alex really only lets Amanda comfort her," Regina commented, also observing the interactions through the door. "Remember how they had been thick as thieves when they were younger?" Emma smiled at the memory.

"Yeah," Emma said. "Even when they were fighting, I still remember Alex coming to the station one day at lunch to tell me that a few of the upperclassmen were planning on beating Amanda up after school for getting them busted with drugs."

"When was that?" Regina asked, trying to remember when such an event might have came up.

"Two years ago, I think." Emma answered. "It never happened though. After Alex went back to school and after making me promise not to tell Amanda she was looking out for her, I picked the girls up and we went for ice cream after school. I think you were in a meeting." Regina nodded. "They've always had each other's backs." They both looked up as Whale exited the room.

"Well, the exam is done, I sent the rape kit to get tested," he said to them. He frowned a bit. "There was definitely some physical evidence though. Forming bruises, scrapes, a little tearing in the vaginal area." Regina covered her mouth with her hand at the horror of the words, Emma clenched her jaw.

"It's a good thing the bastard's dead, otherwise I'd kill him myself," Emma growled through clenched teeth.

"You know who did this?" Whale asked, a little shocked.

"Sydney Glass," Regina whispered. "He was going to assault Amanda too but she managed to stop him."

"I see," Whale said. "Well, as soon as results come in from the test, I'll have them sent to the sheriff's office Emma. You might want to keep an eye on Alex though. She is obviously traumatized, she tried punching one of my nurses."

"I saw that. Amanda got her calmed down though." Emma glanced at the window in the door to see Amanda bent over Alex's head, running her fingers through her sister's hair and a small smile adorning her face. "Why did she look so pissed at you when she went in there?"

"Protocol states she wasn't supposed to be in there," Whale explained. "However, considering she was in fact calming Alex down, I really didn't feel like I had a choice but to let her stay." He chuckled lightly. "She threatened to throw me across the room if I didn't let her stay."

"That's our daughter," Emma chuckled.

"Can we go in there now?" Regina asked.

"Of course. Alex will have to stay though, at least until the tests are complete." He gave them a nod and walked away.


	8. Chapter 8

Amanda looked up when their mothers walked into the room, throwing them a small smile. "Hey moms," she greeted softly. She glanced back down at Alex, who had her head on Amanda's lap and eyes were closed. Her right hand loosely resting on Amanda's calf which was stretched out along side of her.

"Hey," Emma greeted, pulling over a chair and signaling for Regina to sit. Regina took the chair and pulled it closer to the bed. "Heard you threatened to throw Whale."

"He was trying to force me to leave," Amanda defended. "I couldn't leave Alex like that."

"No one's blaming you," Regina said, sitting back and folding her hands above her stomach. "I'm actually glad you stood up to him." Amanda smiled at the compliment.

"So am I," came Alex's raspy voice. Amanda chuckled and continued to run her hand through her sister's hair. "Can I go home yet?"

"Not yet sweetheart," Emma said. "We still have to wait for the test results."

"Why?" Amanda asked. "I thought you said earlier that I got him."

"Part of the testing is to make sure he didn't give Alex any diseases," Emma explained calmly. "You'll also have to take some medicines."

Alex opened her eyes and looked at Emma. "Like the morning after pill?" she asked. Emma nodded.

"And antibiotics to ward off anything else." Amanda watched the interaction, especially Alex since she seemed to be a lot calmer now that Whale was out of the room. The family sat in silence for a little while before a topic started bugging Amanda.

"If I used my magic to save Alex," Amanda began, drawing attention from everyone, "does that mean that the powers I have aren't necessarily evil?"

"The Dark One's powers were used for centuries for evil, Amanda," Emma said. "I highly doubt that they would hold any shred of light anymore."

"But magic is just that, neutral, right?" Amanda looked at Regina. "Whether a power is classified as evil or good is dependent on the user, am I correct?"

"Most of the time," Regina stated, gaining a glare from her wife. "But in some circumstances, the magic obtained can be tainted. It's like getting water from a river. It may seem pure, but there might be dirt or insects in it."

"What's on your mind little sister?" Alex asked, looking up into Amanda's blue orbs.

"Just thinking about how good it felt to protect you." Amanda shrugged. "I mean, we were formed by true love, so that pureness should be able to cancel out the darkness."

"Amanda," Regina argued. "I don't think it's that simple. That much power could get to your head, corrupt you." Amanda still had her eyes locked on Alex as her mother spoke.

"You saved me Sis, even when I was being an ass to you," Alex said, smiling a little. "If this is how you want to handle things, I'll be by your side. Like I used to be."

"Just pick me up when I fall a few times," Amanda joked. Emma and Regina exchanged a look, knowing their youngest had her mind set that she was going to do good with the magic and nothing was going to stop her. Though worried, they were glad that their girls were no longer going to be fighting like they had been.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Reviews are greatly appreciated!

A few weeks had passed since the incident, and though Alex was still traumatized she was recovering with the help of her family, especially Amanda. Emma and Regina were glad the girls had gotten over their spat, especially when Alex was having nightmares; Amanda was the only one to calm her.

Both girls were seeing Dr. Hopper at the insistence of their mothers. Alex wouldn't go unless Amanda was there with her. Together they overcame the pain, their fears, and the jealousy they harbored. When Amanda suggested that she felt she was strong enough to resist the urge of darkness and wanted to use her powers for good Alex was fully on board with it.

It was the middle of summer when Belle approached Amanda about taking over Rumple's old pawn shop. Her reasoning was that it was hard for her to run both the shop and the library, but also she just couldn't stand all of the memories and magical relics anymore. When Amanda asked about the cost and paying Belle back, Belle told her that she thought Amanda would be able to do good with the shop. Amanda agreed to take the shop without telling her mothers.

Amanda was busy sweeping one day shortly after receiving the shop when Henry came in. "Hey Mandy," he greeted, giving her a hug. "How's my baby sister?"

"Doing good Henry," she answered. "What can I do for you?" she asked as she pulled away.

"Is Belle around?"

"She's at the library," she responded as she went back to sweeping.

"So the rumor's true then," he asked with a smirk, leaning against one of the glass cases.

"What rumors?" Amanda asked.

"That Belle gave you the shop." Amanda stopped and looked up at him. Henry was sporting a knowing smile.

"How'd you find out?" Amanda asked as she leaned the broom against a case, worry adorning her features.

"Alex called me yesterday and accidentally let it slip," he replied with a shrug.

"Please don't tell the moms," Amanda pleaded. "They don't know yet."

"You didn't tell them?" he laughed. "Oh, Mom is gonna have a field day with you. You know the paperwork for transfer of property ownership has to go through the town hall."

"I know, I know, I was just gonna deal with it when the time came, that's all." Amanda kicked at the floor.

"You're still sixteen though, they still have say over what you do." Henry just shook his head at how guilty his little sister looked and ran a hand over his stubble. "Oh, Amanda, what are we gonna do with you?" Amanda opened her mouth to answer when the door to the shop opened and Emma came in.

"So I just got off the phone with Mom," she started, closing the door behind her. Amanda shot Henry a terrified look and he held up his hands as if to say 'not my fight'. "She just read a very interesting document." Emma looked squarely at Amanda. "Care to know what it says?"

"That I have the best mothers in the whole world?" Amanda asked as she forced a smile on her face, which quickly faded off as Emma crossed her arms across her chest.

"It says that Belle signed the pawn shop over to your name."

"Hehe, that is interesting," Amanda said as she turned to walk behind the counter.

"Is it true?" Emma asked.

"Mom has the paperwork for it," Amanda stated, not denying anything.

"Amanda," Emma groaned. "You can't do something like this without talking to us first."

"Why Ma, why can't I?" she asked. "I graduated high school already, I don't really want to go to college, I need something to do."

"Then get a job like a normal teenager," Emma said.

"She's not normal Ma," Henry spoke up, drawing Emma's attention to him. "We all know that already." Emma sighed. Henry had a point. She looked back at Amanda.

"Is this what you really want?" she asked. "To own a business? This business?"

"Belle said she'd help me out until I got it under control," Amanda answered sheepishly. "But yes, I do."

"Okay." Emma pulled her phone back out and pressed a few buttons before putting it to her ear. "Hey babe, the paper work's real… yes, I just talked to her...I know… I'll let her know… yes you can sign it… okay, see you later. Love you." Emma hung up her phone and looked at Amanda. "You are so lucky we love you kid."

"I love you too Ma," Amanda said back with a grin.

"We will be having a discussion after dinner young lady." Then Emma turned to Henry. "Are you bringing Grace and the kids tonight?" Henry looked like a deer in the headlights.

"Uh, I guess I can," he replied. Emma quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Did you just get back into town and not see them yet?" she asked.

"Kinda," he answered.

"Henry Daniel," Emma sighed, shaking her head.

"I know Ma, love you too." He gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek before going to Amanda and doing the same. "Six?"

"Yes." He nodded and left the shop with a wave. Emma turned to look at Amanda. "You better be home by four."

"Yes ma'am," Amanda said timidly as Emma exited as well.

[BREAK]

Amanda rushed to lock up the shop and made it into the door of the house by quarter to four, knowing that with the tone of voice Emma had earlier in the day it was better to be home before four. Before she could even remove her shoes Alex rushed to her and grabbed her shoulders.

"You run while I distract them," Alex said, trying to turn a surprised Amanda around back to the door.

"What, why?" Amanda asked.

"Just do it!"

"She is not running Alex," Regina called out as she walked in calmly from the kitchen. Amanda saw Alex fold and close her eyes.

"Don't say I didn't try to save you," Alex muttered as she turned and walked away. Regina smirked and shook her head.

"Hi Mom," Amanda greeted with a big yet faked smile. Regina cocked an eyebrow at her, still sporting her smirk. "How was your day?"

"Considering that I had to learn from legal papers that my youngest is taking over the town's pawn shop…" Regina motioned for Amanda to follow her back into the kitchen. "And my wife going on a tangent about how said youngest shouldn't do such a thing, I had a pretty good day."

"I'm sorry," Amanda apologized, dropping the smile. "I should have told you the moment Belle offered it to me." She took a seat by the island in the kitchen across from Regina.

"Before your mother gets home and goes on again about how you should act more like the teenager you are, why didn't you tell us?"

"Because I thought you'd say no," Amanda replied, grabbing a piece of carrot from the pile of vegetables Regina was chopping up. Regina looked pointedly at her.

"Well is this something you truly want to do? Be a business owner?" Amanda shrugged and nibbled at the carrot.

"Kinda. I mean, Alex is going to be going to school in Portland, I wasn't really going to do anything more than maybe take a few online classes. Aside from maybe waitressing at the diner, I would have just been sitting around the house, bored. I needed something to do."

"Boredom is a problem," Regina said with a knowing smile. "Especially with as much magic that you have in you right now."

"Am I supposed to feel this way?" Amanda asked, a bit worried. Regina cocked her head questioningly so Amanda explained. "I feel like I have an electric current built up in me, that it wants to be released but I'm not letting it."

"That's the magic," Regina explained. "I felt it at times back in the Enchanted Forest when I went through periods of not using mine. I'm sure your mother also feels like that too, but she's too stubborn to say anything." She turned with the cutting board of veggies to the waiting roast on the stove.

"It doesn't feel as intense when I'm at the shop," Amanda shrugged. "Granted, I've been doing a lot of cleaning and reorganizing lately."

"Physical exertion is a temporary relief to the energy." Regina turned and winked at Amanda. "Why do you think I have the workout room in the basement?"

"Are you mad at me Mom?" Regina looked at her daughter, who wore an expression she could only compare to a scolded puppy.

"No, I'm not mad," she replied. "A bit disappointed, but never mad. Your mother, however…"

Amanda cringed. "She seemed pissed earlier."

"You're our baby. Part of Emma's problem is she wants to hold onto you for as long as she can, so do I." Regina wiped her hands off in a nearby towel and moved to wrap her arm around Amanda. "Forgive us for being two old women who don't want to let their last baby leave the nest."

Amanda smiled and leaned into Regina's embrace. "I'll still be around Mom."

"Hey," Emma called out as she entered the kitchen. "Sorry I'm late." She took in the position of her wife and daughter and smiled. "I take it you two talked?"

"We talked," Regina confirmed. "And we're good now." She pointed a finger at Emma. "No guilt tripping. She is a big girl now and the shop is her decision."

Emma pouted a bit. "So we are just going to let her adult now?"

Regina laughed. "Yes, she is going to be adulting now. No more high school babying our baby anymore."

"I have no objections to some babying," Amanda injected, bringing a laugh from her moms.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey everyone, I wanted to try to get another chapter out yet tonight since I had major writers block this morning, but this one is going to be a bit in two sections. The first portion posting tonight and the other one should be up by tomorrow. Both parts were inspired by Reba's 'What Do You Say'. Yes, I listen to country music, as well as other music. I will try to notate in the future if there is a specific song that inspires a part or not.
> 
> A/N 2: If you really like this story, please leave a review. It means the world to me!

Weeks went by and things didn't change much in Storybrooke. Amanda got more into the hang of running the pawn shop, Alexis was gearing up to go to college in Portland for political science, and Regina and Emma just did what they normally did. Henry, being back home now from an assignment for the publishing company he worked for, was over every weekend with his family for meals. Lacey and Amanda tried to hang out as much as possible, but Ruby was starting to put more rules into place now that the school year was creeping back up.

Lacey had a day off and was hanging out at the pawn shop with Amanda almost two weeks before the new school year. "Come on," she complained as Amanda moved a few boxes around. "You know Gale throws awesome parties."

"Lace, I'm not going to a senior's school party," Amanda argued. "I was with Ma when she broke up enough of them. They are messy and usually have alcohol involved."

"So then don't drink," Lacey countered. She hopped off the counter she was sitting on. "Please? I really want to show off my girlfriend tonight." Amanda rolled her eyes. Lacey moved to be in front of her and took Amanda's hands in her own. "Pretty please?" Amanda sighed and looked at her. Lacey had a pout going that she knew would tug at Amanda's heartstrings.

"Oh all right!" Amanda broke, closing her eyes. "Just please stop with the puppy dog face." Lacey broke out in a huge grin and wrapped her arms around Amanda's neck.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she squealed. Amanda let out a chuckle as she hugged back. "Oh, this is gonna be so fun!"

"Lacey, since when do parties, me, and fun belong in the same sentence?" Amanda asked as she moved away to put the items from a box on a shelf.

"Your sweet sixteen was fun this past spring," Lacey cockily answered.

"That's only because Emma wanted to spoil me. Mom was hesitant." Lacey rolled her eyes.

"Please, Regina was just as much of a spoiler as Emma was, maybe more. You just didn't see it because-" Lacey trailed off as Amanda gave her a questioning look. "You weren't supposed to to."

"Liar." Amanda said, stepping towards her girlfriend. "You had a hand in planning it, didn't you?"

"No!" she said quickly, but Amanda crossed her arms across her chest. "Maybe?" Now she was facing a pointed look from Amanda. "Okay, fine," she confessed. "Yes, I did. Can you blame me though?"

"No," Amanda softened and dropped her arms. "I don't blame you. But did you have to have them invite nearly half the school?"

"You only have a sweet sixteen once," Lacey shrugged. Both girls laughed and talked a bit more about the past party and who they might see at the party later that night. Lacey promised to meet her in front of the mansion at five and left when Neal walked into the shop around three.

"How's my niece doing today?" he asked when he approached for a hug.

"Doing good uncle Neal," she answered. "What can I do for you?"

"Nothing, really," he said, picking up a dagger from a stand and looking at it for a moment before putting it down. "Town was just so quiet today that I figured I'd come and say hi."

"Well you said it, but I'm locking up now," she said. "I was invited out by my girlfriend tonight."

"Your moms know?" he asked.

"That's why I'm closing up now instead of at five like usual." She shrugged. "People normally don't come in here anyways."

"I think that has more to do with that Gold ran it before than anything."

She sighed. "I know. But Belle trusted me with the shop and business. And technically most of the town was put into debt under the business' name. So in relation most of the outstanding debts the town owes they now owe to me." Neal looked questioningly at her.

"Seriously?"

"I'd be more than happy to show you the books, but like I said my girlfriend and I are going out tonight."

"Okay, okay," he raised his hands in surrender. They walked out together and once she had the door locked she turned to give Neal a hug. "Tell your moms I said hi," he told her.

"Didn't you see Ma today?" Amanda asked as she turned to walk home. He shook his head no.

"She took the day off. So did your Mom." Amanda stopped in her tracks and shuddered. She heard Neal chuckle behind her. "Want me to give you a ride home?"

"I'd rather not if they both took the day off," she answered, turning around and heading to Granny's instead. "My mind has been scarred too many times when they didn't use silencing spells on the bedroom." At that Neal guffawed loudly. "Goodnight Uncle Neal," she called over her shoulder before she was out of earshot.

As soon as she was inside Granny's diner and seated at the counter Ruby was in front of Amanda. "Don't you and Lacey have a date tonight?" Ruby asked.

"Yeah," Amanda answered.

"Then why aren't you home getting ready?" Ruby chided.

"Considering the fact that my moms both took the day off of working, would you want to go by the mansion?" Ruby's cheeks turned red and she started laughing.

"I wouldn't want to be within a block of the mansion," Ruby confessed. "Poor thing. Lacey is upstairs if you want to go steal an outfit from her for the night."

Amanda smiled in relief. "Thanks Ruby."

"Oh, and Amanda," she called as the girl turned to go for the back stairwell. "No funny business." She tapped her ears as a warning.

"So no sneaking the clowns in, got it," Amanda cheekily said and dashed off, leaving Ruby shaking her head. Amanda got to the top of the stairs and turned to Lacey's room, not even bothering to knock as she went into the room. "Your mom said I could steal an outfit from you!" Amanda called out as she closed the door and turned around. Lacey was standing in shock that Amanda had just chosen to barge into her room not even half an hour after she left the pawn shop and was in just a pair of skinny jeans and her bra.

"Why didn't you go home for your own clothes?" Lacey asked once she came to her senses, moving for her closet.

"Amanda rolled her eyes as she plopped down onto the bed, barely acknowledging her girlfriend's state of undress. She was used to it by now, being in a mainly female household. "Seriously, with your wolf senses you didn't hear me talking to your mom?"

"I block out anything being talked about in the diner," Lacey said as she pulled out two shirts, a red sweetheart neckline and a violet straight cut. "Trust me, if you heard some of the conversations being talked about, you'd go crazy." She held up the shirts for Amanda to look at and Amanda pointed to the red one. "And if you heard what some people still say about your family…"

"I already know that a few people still hate my mom," Amanda said. "They probably also hate me and Alex for existing too."

"I'm not going to deny that," Lacey said, putting the purple shirt back and pulling out a similar black shirt like the one she was going to wear, tossing it at Amanda. "But if they say anything of the sort directly in front of me or my mom, she kicks them out." Amanda laughed and changed her shirt. "Your pants are fine." Amanda looked down at her blue jeans. Lacey laughed and sat her down in front of the vanity, pulling the already hot curling iron closer so she could do Amanda's hair.

I just find it funny," Amanda continued, "how majority of the town has accepted Mom for changing, as well as marrying Ma, yet a few people still have such deep-seated hate that they can't see how happy we are as a family. They fully accepted Ma apparently when she first came to Storybrooke, why not let her just have her happy ending in peace?"

"How can anyone who has seen you growing up suddenly be afraid of you since you became the Dark One?" Lacey asked. Amanda looked at her in the mirror with a sad look.

"People are afraid of me?" Amanda whispered. "But I've been trying so hard to not become dark."

"I see that honey, but sometimes those deep-seated fears just can't be budged." Amanda turned to look at her instead of through the reflection on the mirror.

"When did you go from sixteen to twenty-six?" she asked. Lacey just smiled.

"When did you go from sixteen to thirty-six?" Lacey countered.

"I didn't."

"No, you just graduated early and are now a business owner, whereas I'm still stuck doing algebra and geometry, and seeing how fast magnesium ignites in chemistry class." Lacey patted her shoulders. "Your hair is done."

"Thanks." Amanda waited patiently as Lacey fixed her hair up as well before they both were ready and went downstairs.

"Oh, don't you two look adorable!" Amanda heard before she saw Snow gushing over her.

"Thanks Grams," Amanda said, giving Snow a kiss on the cheek.

"Where are you two off to?" David asked, taking a sip of his drink.

"Gale Hawthorne's party," Lacey stated, wrapping her arm around Amanda. "Last big celebration before school starts, for some of us at least." Amanda rolled her eyes and pushed her girlfriend's arm off of her.

"Gale Hawthorne, as in the new senior quarterback?" David asked.

"That's the one," Lacey chirped.

"Do your mothers know?" Snow asked as her eyes darted between the girls.

"Grams," Amanda groaned.

"My mom knows," Lacey laughed, linking her arm with Amanda's. "But we better get going before we are late."

"Be safe girls!" Snow waved as they left.

"Love ya Grams and Gramps!" Amanda called as she was dragged out the door.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Part two of what was going on in Chapter 10.

The girls made their way to one of the bigger houses that was on the opposite side of town from the mayoral mansion arm in arm. Amanda was nervous, but she knew that this was something Lacey wanted to do. They had hung out around town most of the summer, but this was something that she wanted to show her friends. Lacey was a social butterfly of Storybrooke High School, blending with nearly all the groups. Alex had been involved in the student government aspects of social circles, and Amanda had mostly tried to blend with anyone she could, but with her sister giving her the cold shoulder she had mostly stuck to being in the library and doing her homework. She was thankful that the cold shoulder days were now over, but it didn't make her any less nervous to be in a group setting like a party.

They could hear the people and loud music from the house as they made their way up the walk. "Hey, you're not gonna freak on me and bust the lights with your magic are you?" Lacey asked, sensing Amanda's slight hesitation.

"Oh my god, Lace, that was one time and in the sixth grade!" Amanda exclaimed. "I'm never going to live that one down with you, am I?"

"Well, it was a shocking experience for Billy," she chortled.

"He surprised me, okay? How was I supposed to know he was going to try kissing me?"

"Well I'll protect you," Lacey pulled her closer. "No one kisses my girlfriend but me." To prove her point Lacey turned Amanda and planted a kiss right on her lips. A blush crept onto Amanda's cheeks as she sported a small smile, allowing herself to be dragged into the crowd.

The party wasn't overly bad from what Amanda was experiencing. She had tried to stick to just tap water but Lacey had her way of giving her a few cups of the punch supplied, which Amanda was sure was spiked but drank anyways. She was standing out by the back balcony, leaning against the railing and looking over the lower level of the yard when she was approached by someone other than Lacey.

"Well, if it isn't the new Dark One," the voice slurred. Amanda rolled her eyes and took another sip of her (third, fourth maybe?) drink, ignoring the newcomer. "What are you doing here Darkie?"

"Buzz off loser," she said. Instead of leaving her alone, the guy just crowded on her more.

"Oooh, what are you gonna do? Rip out my heart like your Mommy dearest does?" he taunted. Amanda tensed at the jeer, knowing the kid was just drunk. "Curse the town again?"

"I said buzz off," she reiterated, standing to try to move away. Instead the guy grabbed her arm and jerked her closer.

"You can fool a lot of people but you can't fool me Dark One," the kid said, alcohol reeking from his breath. "Your mother destroyed the Savior, made her weak. Perhaps it was a spell." The kid laughed as Amanda clenched her jaw. "There is nothing but evil that comes from that bitch." Amanda felt her magic tingling as her anger grew, wishing she could just turn the guy into a toad or something for the hateful things he was saying. Instead she threw the remainder of her drink in his face, making him lose his grip on her. Quickly she made her way back to the first floor and was trying to make it to the front door when she ran into Lacey.

"Hey babe," she slurred exuberantly. "Need another drink?"

"I'm leaving," Amanda said, trying to pull away from her obviously drunk girlfriend. Lacey's smile disappeared as she noticed how upset Amanda was.

"Why?" she asked. Before Amanda could respond the jerk from the balcony was behind her.

"Deciding to be a coward Dark One?" he jeered. Amanda closed her mouth and steeled herself. "It doesn't surprise me, that's where cowards are from is evil."

"Yo, Gale, shut the hell up!" Lacey shouted at him. "You wouldn't know what good looks like even if you were sober."

He made a move and grabbed Lacey, pulling her to him in a swift motion that made her yelp. "I'll show you what good is baby, you don't need that dyke."

"Let her go," Amanda growled, turning around. Her anger at how he was treating her girlfriend and everything else was making her magic go crazy in her, wanting a release. When he didn't comply she glared at him. "Are you deaf or stupid? I said, let her go."

"Or what?" he sneered. Amanda flexed her hand and automatically his eyes widened in alarm as he started gasping, letting go of Lacey as he tried clawing at the magic slowly choking him. Lacey took the moment to move next to Amanda.

"Amanda, stop," Lacey told her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Amanda shook a bit from a combination of the anger, the power, and the sheer thrill she was having from using her magic to dole out a punishment. "Please." Amanda finally turned her head to Lacey and dropped her hand, releasing Gale from the magical choke hold he had been in. He collapsed to his knees, gasping and coughing.

"I'm calling my Ma and I am going home." She pushed past Lacey and headed for the door. "I'd suggest you do the same, Miss Lucas."

"Wait, what did you just call me?" Lacey said as she stumbled towards the front door to follow Amanda. Amanda was already out the door and texting Emma. "What the hell Amanda? Why did you just call me Miss Lucas?" When Amanda didn't turn around Lacey stumbled in front of her. "Hey, I'm talking to you." When Amanda finally looked at Lacey tears were threatening to spill. "What the hell is going on with you?"

"I'm trying to not go back in there and kill him like part of me wants to," Amanda said. "And you are so fucking drunk…" Amanda shook her head. "I'm not doing this anymore Lace."

"Okay, we won't go to any more parties," Lacey shrugged.

"No, I mean us." Lacey looked like a lost little puppy. "In there, I nearly lost control because of stupid actions from both of us. Right now I need time to just figure things out."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Lacey asked. Amanda couldn't even answer her with anything more than a drooped nod. "Well fuck you too, Mills." Lacey took off down the road, stumbling along the sidewalk. Amanda watched as tears trailed down her cheeks. She was still looking down the direction Lacey had disappeared when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Amanda turned around and as soon as she realized it was Emma she broke down crying. Emma just stood there hugging her daughter close, letting the tears fall. She wasn't sure what exactly happened but knew it must have been bad if Amanda was crying. Once the sobs quieted down she led her to the Mercedes and helped her in. Amanda leaned her head against the cool glass of the window, wrapping her arms around herself, as Emma got in and drove them home. She could smell the booze on Amanda, but wasn't going to push her on the underage drinking that she suspected had been going on. Once they were back home and in the door Amanda headed straight upstairs, not even bothering to acknowledge Regina as she came into the foyer from the kitchen.

"What's going on?" Regina asked Emma as the blonde watched their daughter trudge up the stairs to her room.

"I don't know," Emma said heavily. "All I know is I went to pick her up and when I got there she was alone and crying."

"I thought Ruby said that Lacey was with her?"

"Either the girl was still in the party or, if I was reading that look right, they broke up." Regina sighed and looked up the stairs too. "And if that's the case I'm not even going to punish her for the underage drinking." Regina huffed.

"They went to a teenage party, of course there was drinking." Emma cocked an eyebrow and glanced at Regina out of the corner of her eye. "Don't you remember a few of those parties Henry was invited to? And Neal?"

"I remember busting up the one Neal was at. The kids just got stupid drunk at that one."

"Well, if they did break up, all we can do is be there for her right now," Regina said and started climbing the stairs to go hold her daughter while she cried.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh the feels for this chapter! And in this chapter! Amazing what comes to you when you are working a night shift. :) Enjoy and review.

_Regina was in bed with Emma laying next to her, the blonde running her fingers over Regina's naked torso as her head rested on Regina's shoulder._

_"_ _Gina?" the blonde lazily asked._

_"_ _Yes Emma?" the brunette replied, running her fingers through the honey blonde hair of her new wife._

_"_ _I know we just got married two months ago, but I was thinking."_

_"_ _That could be a dangerous thing for you to do dear," Regina joked. Emma gave her tummy a light slap._

_"_ _Do you want to have more kids besides Henry?" Emma asked._

_"_ _Like adopt more?" Regina asked, her nerves starting to build._

_"_ _No, like, I don't know, sperm donor or something."_

_"_ _There are ways magically for two women to have a baby dear," Regina informed. Emma finally looked up at her wife, a hopeful glint in her eye. And it was that glint that made Regina all the more nervous about the current conversation._

_"_ _So you'd be able to carry the next kid?" Emma asked with a smile. Regina felt like she was just punched in the gut at the question and closed her eyes. Never in her many years of life did she ever think that she would have found a love like she did with Emma, not since she had lost Daniel, and she never regretted some of her decisions more than the one with that damn potion. "Gina?" Emma asked, her voice full of concern._

_"_ _I can't have children," Regina whispered, unable to stop the lone tear that escaped the corner of her eye._

_"_ _Why?" Emma asked, sitting up and wiping the tear away. "Is it a medical condition?"_

_Regina shook her head. "Back in the Enchanted Forest, I had taken a potion that stripped my ability to bear children. It was a stupid move, really." She let out a harsh burst of a laugh. "I just didn't want to be a baby factory for my mother."_

_"_ _Hey, look at me," Emma gently demanded. Regina opened her eyes and looked into the green eyes of her wife. They shone with unshed tears as she noticed the small smile Emma sported. "I love you, okay? So you can't carry children, big deal."_

_"_ _You don't hate me for keeping this from you?" Regina asked, searching Emma's eyes for anything that might hint at anger or hate, or anything that might signal Emma would run. Instead she was shocked when Emma leaned forward and gently kissed her._

_"_ _I could never hate you Regina Swan-Mills," Emma softly said, running her hand through the brunette's locks. "If you would want more children, it'd be my honor to carry them for you."_

_"_ _I do," Regina said, pulling Emma closer to her. "I love you."_

Regina awoke from her dream and smiled. The dream, or rather memory, was one of the best ones she had. It had shown Regina once again how much in love Emma had been, and still was, with her. Nearly nine months after that night Emma had given birth to Alexis, and when they decided nearly a year and a half later to try expanding their family once more, Emma surprised her by telling Regina that she was already pregnant again.

Regina turned her head and looked at their youngest laying next to her, tears staining the young girl's cheeks as she slept. She sighed as she turned over and laid her arm protectively over Amanda. Just a few hours prior she had gotten the facts from the sobbing girl that she and Lacey had broken up and she had nearly killed the Hawthorne boy for being a "stupid drunk". Regina was proud of her daughter for not going through with killing him, though she was sure the lure of killing him with magic was strong, even stronger than it had been for herself so many years ago. A smile crept onto her face as Amanda snuggled into her mother's hold and released a deep breath of air. She glanced to the drawn curtains of the room, seeing a sliver of light coming through the middle where the two halves met. It was a dark light, signaling that it was sometime in the early morning hours.

The sound of the door moving drew Regina's attention to Emma coming into the room and sitting down in the chair that Regina just noticed sat by the side of the bed next to Amanda. "Hey," Emma whispered, noticing that Regina was awake.

"Hey," Regina responded in the same volume. "What are you doing in here?"

"I wanted to make sure you two were safe," Emma answered with a smile. "And so she knows that we are both here for her." Regina smiled back at her and laid her head back down on the pillows, content that her wife and daughter were with her.

About an hour later when Alex had woken up she was walking past Amanda's room when she noticed the scene. She smiled, pulling out her phone and took a picture of Regina laying on the bed with a protective arm over Amanda, Amanda snuggled with her back against their mother's chest, and Emma leaning against the bed in the chair near Amanda's head, all of them asleep. The light from the flash woke Amanda up and she sleepily slid out of Regina's hold, trying to quietly follow her sister downstairs.

"Bad night?" Alex asked as they entered the kitchen.

"What makes you say that?" Amanda asked groggily as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and took a seat by the island.

"The moms never sleep in our rooms unless it's something bad," Alex stated as she started making a pot of coffee. "Plus your face has tear stains on it." Amanda looked up at her as she tried to stifle a yawn. "What happened last night?"

"Lacey and I broke up," Amanda stated with a shrug. Alex frowned.

"Why?"

"I almost killed Gale."

"Gale Hawthorne?" Alex confirmed and Amanda nodded. "Let me guess, he was trying to take you to his bedroom?"

"No, actually he was taunting me and then he tried to drag her away, calling me a dyke."

"That bastard," Alex spat. "He's always been a complete ass though." Alex looked at Amanda and noticed her drooped head. "Hey, there's more to it than just that, isn't there?" Amanda nodded.

"He was taunting the darkness, saying that Mom never changed from being the Evil Queen, and that I was just like that side of her." Amanda looked at Alex. "He was saying that she destroyed what Ma was supposed to be. But Ma saved Mom, right?"

"Yeah, she did," Alex said, looking at her little sister as she spoke. "He didn't know what he was talking about because he's never seen their True Love." Alex placed her hand on top of Amanda's. "We have. We know the truth."

Amanda smiled back at her. "We're the products of that True Love," Amanda stated, both girls grinning at the comment.

They were so lost in their conversation that they never noticed while they were talking both Regina and Emma had made their way downstairs and had been listening. Emma wrapped her arms around Regina from behind and kissed her wife's neck. "You have changed, so much," Emma whispered in her ear. Regina merely smiled and squeezed Emma's arm with her hand. "Especially since we had the girls."

In the kitchen Alex poured two mugs of coffee, adding a cocoa packet to Amanda's, mixing it and adding the cinnamon that they all liked with their chocolate. "So how did you almost kill Gale?" Alex asked, setting the mug in front of Amanda.

"With magic," Amanda answered, picking a bit at her nails. "At that point he grabbed Lacey and yanked her away from my side and made a comment like he was going to rape her. Something inside me just snapped and I needed to protect her." Amanda stopped picking at her nails and looked at Alex, who was watching her closely as she leaned against the counter, mug of coffee in her hands. "I was choking him with magic so he would let her go."

"So you did protect her."

"Yeah, but that's not really what scared me." Amanda looked down into her mug. "What scared me the most was how much I wanted to kill him, how good it felt to inflict pain on him." She shrugged and took a sip before resuming. "I can actually see how Mom could turn to darkness to hide her pain. It's a moment of exhilaration, why feel bad when it feels so good to do what you want? But then Lacey pulled me out of that place, and I just knew if I did kill him I would have hurt her." Amanda looked back up at Alex. "The power is tempting, but at what cost anymore? I don't want to hurt anyone I love."

"So you broke up with her so you can't hurt her?" Amanda took a moment to think of what Alex was asking her.

"I think a part of me did," Amanda slowly said. "I just want to be sure of myself before I make that kind of commitment though."

"That's a smart choice kid," Emma said as she entered the kitchen followed by Regina. The arrival made both the girls jump. Regina made her way over by Amanda and gave her a hug with a kiss on the head while Emma went to the coffee pot.

"How much did you guys hear?" Amanda asked.

"Enough," Regina said as Emma handed her one of the mugs of coffee she poured. "Enough to convince me that you can overcome the darkness on your own, so you can handle this." Regina waved her hand and made the Dark One dagger appear in her hand. Amanda's eyes grew wide at the sight of it. She hadn't seen it since that night that she had killed Gold with it. Emma watched as Alex also looked on in shock. It was one thing to be told that your sister was the Dark One, another thing entirely to see it confirmed with her name etched on the face of the blade. Emma and Regina were the only two unfazed; they had talked about handing over the dagger back to Amanda as they listened to the girls talking.

"Mom, I-I don't know," Amanda said as her eyes stayed glued to the dagger, feeling the magic pulsing from it, calling to her.

"We trust you," Emma said, coming up behind her wife's shoulder. Amanda took her eyes off of the dagger and looked at her mothers. Both wore expressions of trust and love. Amanda took the proffered blade and traced the letters of her name with a finger.

"And I trust you guys." Amanda handed the dagger back to Regina. "Which is why I want you to keep it."

"Why?" Emma asked. Amanda looked at Regina as she answered.

"I trust that if anything happens that I can't control the darkness in me, you have it in yourselves to use that dagger to either save me or destroy me." She smiled as she shifted her eyes to Emma and then to Alex. "Because I love all of you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 2: Yes, I did steal a little of the idea of giving the dagger to Regina because of Season 5. I just felt that with Regina being reformed from darkness she is the best to handle it for her daughter (for now).


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Gahh, I couldn't help myself, I just had to! I love this story, I love how it's going. And its only going to get a bit more darker before we get lighter. I hope you like this chapter guys! I just couldn't resist a little fluff of family here.

"Run, run, as fast as you can dearie. You'll never outrun me though, for I'm in your head!" Rumple's sing-songy voice rang through Amanda's head as she ran through the forest, leaping first over one fallen tree, then another, trying to exert herself to the max to just get rid of the annoying voice. It was the same voice that taunted and tormented her since she became the Dark One three years earlier. It was this voice that she kept hidden, even when her eyes would stare at the former Dark One's form as he talked to her when she was around others.

She jumped over a shallow stream and turned to her left, feet slipping just slightly on the soft ground, hair from her high tied ponytail whipping around her shoulders. With a huff she was off again, running through the trees and jumping over logs. When she finally reached the road again she finally slowed down. The voice was gone again, for now. Amanda was thankful that it wasn't around all of the time, just when it deemed to be convenient.

"How far was that supposed to be again?" Lacey's voice called out from where she stood next to Amanda's Toyota.

"I lost track at mile marker four," Amanda huffed, wiping her hands across her black calf-length running pants. Her muscles twitched as they cooled down from the run. "Took a slight scenic detour."

"Well your timing is pretty good yet. That was about forty-five minutes." Lacey handed her a water bottle.

"About nine miles then," Amanda stated as she made her way for the driver's side of the car.

"I'll run with you next time," Lacey said as she hopped into the car.

"Good luck, wolf," Amanda ribbed with a grin. Even though the two had broken up three years prior they didn't let that ruin their friendship. Lacey had moved on and was dating one of the football players from her graduating class, much to Amanda's dismay, but routinely told her best friend that there was no way it was love. After Amanda had explained why she broke up with her and why they just couldn't be together in a relationship, Lacey had told her she understood, yet had taken a darker path in her life. Amanda didn't like that this was the way Lacey had chosen to go, but couldn't say much about it herself. She just tried to be supportive of her, and if that meant from time to time getting a lap dance from her at the strip club she worked at after graduation then Amanda would do it.

Once word had gotten around that Amanda was not like Rumple had been, more people had been willing to seek her out. She laid down the rule though that she would not do magic unless necessary, and even then the price for using magic was set high so as to deter people from misusing her. Emma and Regina actually supported her decision to keep the price of her magic high; they didn't want her to be tempted to use the magic she possessed for evil.

People also knew that their monetary debts were still valid from when Rumple was alive, though they were given more leeway with Amanda in charge. At first Regina had been overwhelmed with complaints that her daughter was being unreasonable and unforgiving, but after one town meeting where it was explained that the money was reinvested into the community and that any outstanding loans were lowered in interest rate and given more time to repay at a reasonable timeframe, the townsfolk quieted down and continued to pay their loans or take new ones out with Amanda.

In the three years that passed, Amanda was the one that financially owned the town. The past year took Regina out of power at the mayoral office and put Snow White in, as was the agreement for the elections and the families. There were a few issues that Amanda didn't agree with her grandmother on, but she handled them as tactfully as she could. Little did anyone see that as hard as Amanda tried to fight the darkness, it had grown in her a bit. Not as much as it would have if she just gave in completely, but not everything she did anymore was completely pure. Part of that still scared Amanda, but she understood that the world wasn't just good and evil; the two sides could still coexist in peace as long as she made the majority of her decisions based on the side of good. It wasn't that she threatened to kill anyone or anything, but her skills at manipulation had increased, a big trait that any Dark One had.

"I have to go to the sheriff's station, you want me to drop you off at the diner, or wherever it is you are going?" Amanda asked as she drove back into the civilized part of town.

"I'll just walk from the station, thanks," Lacey answered. Amanda shrugged.

"Okay." When Amanda pulled up to the sheriff's station, she and Lacey hugged, then went their separate ways. Heading inside she was originally planning on going to lunch with Emma, but hearing the arguing inside had her changing her plans.

"Seriously Emma, a physical fitness test?" she heard her uncle Neal scoffing. "I don't think I had anything since you hired me."

"That's because it was usually written off," Amanda heard Emma reply as she got closer to the door. She leaned against the frame and watched Emma and Neal bantering, with David appearing to try to stay out of it at his desk.

"What do you mean written off?"

"Remember how you used to work out with me? I counted that as your pt test."

"I still work out," Neal countered. "I go with Dad."

"I haven't seen you in work out with me for a few months now," David interjected.

"See? All the more reason for me to administer the test on you," Emma pointed.

"Or what? You'll fire me?"

"Yes." Amanda's eyebrows shot up in shock at her mom. She knew that Emma was a rule bender but to stick to them that much…

"I have an idea," Amanda finally said as she made herself known, pushing off the door frame and walking more into the room.

"What's that?" Emma asked her.

"You bend the rule for uncle Neal if he can beat me in a two-mile race."

Neal laughed. "Just two miles?" Neal, being cocky, smirked at the idea. "What, you gonna poof yourself to the finish line?"

Amanda shook her head. "No tricks. Simply running a mile out, then turning around and coming back. I'll even give you a quarter mile head start."

"Fine," he agreed, grabbing his jacket from the coat rack. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"No, I'm administering the test today," Emma said, crossing her arms over her chest. Neal stopped in his tracks and turned around. "I'll give you one hour to go get changed and meet in front of the station." Neal huffed as he stormed out of the station.

"Do you really think you can beat him Amanda?" David asked as he put a folder of papers down. Emma smiled at her daughter.

"Gramps, I run dang near a four-minute mile. I just got done running, obviously," she gestured to her blue tank top and tight pants. "Uncle Neal doesn't stand a chance."

"She's fast Dad," Emma stated, wrapping an arm around Amanda's shoulders. "She has to slow her pace down to stay with me when we run." While waiting Amanda talked Emma into putting the power suppressing bracelet on her for the race as a safeguard against Neal accusing her of cheating. Emma had reluctantly agreed, only doing so after assuring that she could remove it afterwards.

An hour later the three of them were waiting outside of the sheriff's station waiting on Neal to show. When he did he looked like he was angry that he had to do the competition against his niece. David took off to the mile checkpoint and radioed Emma when he arrived. "Okay, so here's the deal, you get a quarter mile head start on Amanda for the two mile run. Marker for that point is up there." Indeed, there was a flag placed a quarter mile down the road that Neal would have to pass in order for Amanda to start running herself. "If you beat her back, I write it off for another year that you passed your physical fitness exam. If Amanda wins you have one week to take the full exam of the run, push-ups and sit-ups," Emma explained. Neal smirked at his niece. "No magic will be used during the race as agreed upon. Do you understand." Both nodded.

"Piece of cake," Neal said, moving into a starting position. Emma told him go and he took off.

"He really has no clue does he?" Amanda asked her as she watched her uncle run.

"Nope. Better get ready," Emma said to her. Amanda rolled her eyes and as soon as they saw Neal pass the flag Amanda took off from her standing position beside Emma, her legs powering her smoothly on the paved surface. Running on the pavement was easier than running through the woods, plus it was a straight away, giving her too much ease. Neal was nearly to the three-quarter mile mark when Amanda bypassed him. The look of shock on his face as she practically flew past him made her smirk. She turned around by David and passed Neal a second time and eased her strength up so she could give Neal a fighting chance. Unfortunately, he had fallen already a quarter of a mile behind her. "Ten oh one," Emma called out as Amanda ran past her. "Twelve fifty-five," Emma called as Neal heaved past her. Amanda jogged in place while Neal doubled over, gasping for breath. "Looks like you lost baby brother," Emma said with a smile.

"She… cheated…" he huffed.

Amanda stopped jogging. "How did I cheat?" Amanda asked.

"Magic."

She rolled her eyes and put her wrist where the bracelet was in front of his face. "Couldn't have. Ma put this on me before you even got back." She tugged at it to prove she couldn't remove it. "It blocks magic." He stood up and looked confounded at her.

"How in the hell then did you run so fast?" he asked.

"Dude, she was holding back on you," Emma laughed. "She runs nearly every day."

"No wonder you stay so freaking skinny," he muttered. Amanda laughed at the comment. She was proud of her athletic body.

"My average run right now is about a four-minute mile," she stated proudly. "This was at about a five-minute mile pace." He just shook his head and Amanda turned to Emma. "Can you cut him a little slack Ma?" she asked with puppy eyes. "If he was in the military he'd have passed with a perfect score with that time." Emma sighed and cast a glance at her baby brother.

"Okay, fine," she relented. "I guess I can write it off this year for you. But I want you to do regular workouts with either me or Dad."

"Thanks sis," Neal sighed gratefully.

"Oh no, don't thank me. Thank your niece for this one." Neal grinned and hugged Amanda, who cringed because of her sweat-soaked uncle.

"Eww, Uncle Neal!" she whined, pushing him away as he laughed. "So not funny. You're sweaty and you stink."

"Anything for my favorite niece!" he called out as he walked away, presumably to take a shower.

She turned to Emma. "Can you take this thing off now?" Amanda asked as she held out her arm. Emma took the bracelet off. "Thanks, now I have to go take a shower as well." Amanda leaned in and gave Emma a kiss on the cheek. "Love you Ma."

"Love you too kid!" she said as Amanda walked to her car.

[BREAK]

"I take it the plans are coming along nicely?" the woman asked the young man who sat across from her. He nodded as he took a sip from his mug.

"Of course mother," he replied. "I have the eldest Swan-Mills daughter in the palm of my hand."

"For now," the woman added, sipping her own mug. "Just be careful Gale, she can't suspect anything."

"She has already fallen in love with me, I'm sure of it with how she swoons for me."

"Yes, well, just be careful not to let the Dark One near you my son." The woman shuddered. "She has come a long way since she nearly killed you." Gale scoffed.

"She lives to see that her sister is happy. As long as I show that I make her happy then the Dark One will remain out of the way."

"Whatever you do, do not underestimate the Dark One." The woman set her cup down and glared at her son. "Even if she lives to see her sister happy, she will do whatever it takes to keep her safe more. If you give that wench one reason to suspect you are not who you say, our plans may fail."

Gale bowed his head. "I understand mother."

She leaned back in her chair. "That's a good boy. Now, run along, and remember to always keep your guard up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, who is this mysterious woman? And what do she and Gale (yep, the asshole is back from last chapter) have planned? What is going to happen to Alex? Well, I know these answers, but I would love to see how you my lovely readers will speculate. Until next chapter!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, to say I am pissed about the OUAT winter finale is a slight understatement. I watched it while I was at work and was upset, then I watched it again after work. I was able to see the point of view going on up until nearly the last five minutes, when all I could do is scream "EMMA YOU FUCKING IDIOT, LEAVE HOOK BE FUCKING DEAD! FOR FUCKS SAKES! THE BASTARD WANTED TO FUCKING DIE!" The writing on the show has turned to shit. That will not, however, dissuade me from being a SQ shipper or watching the show and grabbing ideas just to use as my own.
> 
> Now, as you may have guessed from the end of last chapter, Gale has come back. I swear I am channeling him to be similar to Hook but younger. I hope that my lovely readers don't get too confused by the dialect of Rumple in this chapter. I based it off of how Rumple talked to Emma in Camelot, where she could see him but no one else could.
> 
> I mostly wrote this while on 20 hours no sleep, so if there is something you are confused about or have an idea of changing/improving, please pm me.
> 
> Enjoy!

 

"Please Amanda?" Alex begged during their weekly video chat. "Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"Alex, I can't just up and leave my business," Amanda laughed, staring at the screen as she watched her sister pout.

"But I want to see my baby sister!" Amanda shook her head. "I haven't seen you since the beginning of summer."

"I wasn't the one to tell you to take summer courses," Amanda countered. "And you could always come home."

"I have a lot of homework though. Please? Just take a weekend." Amanda contemplated it. She glanced around the pawn shop and sighed, turning her gaze back to the computer screen. Alex was putting on her puppy dog face.

"And what, may I ask, is so important that I must come all the way to Portland?" Alex smiled, knowing she broke her sister into coming.

"I want you to meet my boyfriend before I decide to bring him home to meet the moms."

Amanda rolled her eyes. "You couldn't have Henry do that?" she asked. "You know his publishing firm is in town, right?"

"I know, but as much as I love him, let's face it, big bro is old." Amanda smirked. "And you have that whole intimidation factor going on."

"Yes, being the Dark One is highly intimidating, the people of Storybrooke fear me because I eat kittens for breakfast," Amanda deadpanned. Alex laughed and shook her head.

"Seriously, you could be scary even if you didn't have the additional magic backing you." Amanda sighed and pulled up her calendar on the computer.

"This weekend you said?" Amanda caved. She could see Alex grinning like an idiot and nodding. "Okay, I'll meet you on Saturday then."

"Will you stay overnight?"

"Fine, big baby."

"Yay!" Sometimes Amanda swore her big sister was more of a child than she was. "I'll see you then. Just text or call me when you get to campus."

"Okay, love you Alex." Alex returned the sentiment and the chat window closed. Amanda sighed and glanced back at the calendar. Saturday was only two days away. There wasn't much to do in the shop, maybe a little dusting. Everything normally stayed how it was though. A few items would come and go but otherwise never really changed. She was starting to get bored, and boredom was not usually a good thing for her.

"You should really do something dearie." Amanda closed her eyes in annoyance, that damn voice was back in her head. "All that power is at your disposal, and yet you have spent years suppressing it. I must say, I am I find it slightly impressive how you resist the darkness." Amanda closed her computer and moved away from the counter, grabbing the broom to sweep. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Rumple leaning against the counter where she had been. She refused to acknowledge this version of him verbally most of the time, though most of the time she was surrounded by people. Here, in her shop, she was alone.

"I refuse to be evil," she muttered as she started moving the broom.

"I never said evil, dearie." Amanda paused at those words. She knew there was a difference between evil and darkness, they were not the same but often walked hand in hand with each other.

"I don't need the darkness." Amanda continued sweeping. "Go away."

"Can't." She stopped sweeping, leaning the broom against the wall as she made her way into the back office. If she couldn't distract herself with sweeping, she could at least work the numbers in her accounting books.

[BREAK]

She glanced down for the umpteenth time at her phone since she left Storybrooke. It was only a forty-five-minute drive to Portland, but she was nervous. Amanda had tried to release some of her nerves and energy earlier in the morning by running yet again, but it did nothing to calm her. She tried to crank the radio up, deciding to sing along with the music instead of silence. From the GPS that she had set up on her phone it said she was about five minutes from campus. Amanda texted Alex to let her know, receiving a response telling her to meet at the student center.

Traffic was the only other worry on Amanda's mind. Though it was the middle of the semester, traffic around the school was seemingly horrendous, and she wished Alex would have warned her. When a car cut in front of her, nearly running into her bumper, Amanda released a growl and clenched the steering wheel harder. "You should just kill him." She rolled her eyes. "No one needs someone that reckless in the world anyhow."

"I've got road rage, not road homicide," Amanda responded to the voice invading her thoughts.

"It'll make you feel better though," Rumple sang.

"I'm not risking my soul to become like you." She could hear the chuckle in his voice.

"But you are already like me, dearie. You just need to do like I told you all those pesky years ago. Embrace the darkness."

"I have."

"No you haven't." Amanda groaned. She didn't want to be having this mental back and forth with the darkness in her mind. She turned all of her attention back to the road and focused on getting to the parking lot closest to the student center.

"You're ten minutes late!" Alex scolded as Amanda walked up to the front doors. The slightly disappointed look on her sister's face made Amanda rub the back of her neck nervously.

"Sorry, traffic was a bitch." Alex smiled and hugged Amanda.

"It's okay, but we have to get going, we're going to be late."

"For what?" Amanda asked as she allowed herself to be pulled along by Alex's linked arm in hers.

"For meeting my boyfriend silly!" Amanda cocked an eyebrow at her older sister. She seemed to be really happy with whomever this guy was. "Just promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"Please don't hold grudges about the past." Amanda stopped walking and the motion caused Alex to turn around.

"Alexis, who is he?" Amanda asked as her brows knit together. Her sister just smiled.

"You'll see." A knot of apprehension formed in Amanda's stomach as she moved forward again. A few minutes later they approached a table in the cafeteria where someone had their back to them. "Hey honey!" The person turned around at the sound of Alex's voice and Amanda gasped in shock as her sister hugged the one and only Gale Hawthorne.

"Hey sweetheart," he greeted, kissing her on the lips.

"Isn't this a surprise," Rumple's voice rang in Amanda's head and she glanced to her right to see the imp standing with a smirk near her.

"Amanda, you remember Gale, right?" Alex asked tentatively, drawing Amanda's attention back to her.

"Yeah, I remember," Amanda said tensely. "I nearly choked him to death."

"You should have done it too, dearie. It would have saved you this pain." She ignored Rumple's comment as she glared at Gale. The young man smiled almost apologetically at her.

"Listen, I'm awfully sorry for what I did to you and to Lacey at that party," he apologized. "I was being a drunk kid and, well, didn't know better." He extended his hand towards her. "Can we just start over?" Amanda glanced down at the proffered hand then back at his face.

"Alex, a word please."

"Amanda, whatever you have to say can be said in front of both of us," Alex said, and Amanda noticed how she had her arms wrapped around Gale's midsection.

"Fine. I do not approve of this. No, I will not do what you asked and I will hold this grudge against him." Gale lowered his hand and looked sad. "You threatened to rape my best friend."

"Again, I'm sorry for that." He wrapped his arms around a now frowning Alex. "But I have changed. Alex has been helping me become a better man."

"You know he's just going to hurt her," Rumple taunted and Amanda clenched her jaw. "Maybe you should just take his heart and crush it right now, save Alex from being hurt by him." She looked at Alex and saw how hurt she was by Amanda's actions and words. There was a look of young love in her eyes as she held onto him. Amanda sighed, relaxing her body.

"One warning, Hawthorne," Amanda stated. "You hurt her, in any way, and I'm yanking your heart out of your chest. Any pain that she may feel because of you, I will double it until your heart is nothing but dust in my hand." She stepped closer to him, sensing fear coming from both of them. She placed her hand on his chest above his heart and pressed firmly but not enough to grab his heart out of his chest, though her magic called to her to do so. "Do you understand?"

"Do it," Rumple said.

"I understand," Gale stated at the same time as the Rumple voice. Amanda nodded and pulled back. Rumple groaned in frustration.

"Good." She looked at Alex and smiled at her sister. "I only wish your happiness and safety." Alex squealed and left Gale's side to wrap Amanda in a hug. Neither girl noticed the glare that Gale had shot at Amanda.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, short chapter. But it came into my sleep-deprived brain that I wanted to have interaction of Amanda and her uncle Neal since it kinda looked like he was a tool not too far back. For the average reader who can probably deduct his age, Neal is only about six years older than Amanda, and is a cocky young guy. But he does love his family, especially his nieces.

The weekend couldn't end fast enough for Amanda. Most of the time Gale was hanging around them like some puppy that couldn't get enough attention. It didn't help matters that Amanda was dealing with Rumple's voice in her head most of the time Gale was around either. It was almost as if the Dark One in her knew the guy was bad news, but she was suppressing the warning because Alex looked so damned happy. The only time the girls were alone was when they were getting ready for sleep and made a video call to Emma and Regina. It was one of the rare moments that the Rumple voice was gone.

Once Sunday morning rolled around though, Amanda said a quick goodbye and took off back to Storybrooke. She was craving the taste of the tequila she managed to hide in her apartment above the pawn shop. Rumple was getting on her nerves almost worse than Gale. She considered herself lucky that Alex didn't hear her snap "shut the fuck up!" in the en-suite shower to the dorm room. One of her first stops once she got back into town was a quick change into her running clothes. The magic crackled under her skin, wanting to be used.

"So why don't you use it dearie?" Rumple's voice startled her slightly as she tied her shoes.

"Go the fuck away," she snarled at the apparition in her sights.

"We've been over this though, I can't go away because I'm part of your mind." He smirked at her. "It would be so much easier to deal with me though if you would just embrace the darkness. It's freedom. Isn't that what you want?"

"Freedom from you, yes." She stood and tied her hair up. "I will not rip out his heart though."

"Yet you sense the trouble brewing when you are around him."

"That wasn't trouble, that was you yammering in my head."

"If your plan is to keep your sister happy, the only way to ensure that is to-"

"I'M NOT CRUSHING HIS GODDAMNED HEART!" Amanda snapped. "I will not just do as I want with magic and be damned of the consequences." She looked directly at Rumple. "That was one thing you managed to instill on this whole damn town, magic always comes with a price." She charged forward through Rumple on her way to the door. She had enough of the voice in her head. As she yanked her door open she was startled by Neal with his fist in the air as if he was going to knock. "Uncle Neal," she said.

"Uh, hey, you okay? I heard you yelling," he said.

Amanda shook her head to clear her thoughts. "No, yeah, I'm fine. What can I do for you?"

Neal shrugged and kicked at the ground. "Emma told me to come by as soon as your car was in town." Amanda took in the look of a tee shirt, shorts, and running shoes and smirked.

"Did she tell you to go running with me?"

"Kinda." She laughed and walked out of the apartment, pulling the door shut behind herself. "So what were you yelling about?" Neal asked as she led the way downstairs.

"Nothing," she replied.

"Really? Because it sure didn't sound like nothing." He grabbed her arm and spun her to face him once they were outside. "You were screaming about ripping someone's heart out."

"Promise not to tell anyone?" she finally caved. "Especially my moms?"

"What's going on Amanda?" The concern in his eyes was nearly overwhelming.

"Not here. In the woods." She got into the Toyota and started it up. Once Neal was in she drove to her normal starting point. He was looking expectantly at her as she pulled over to the side of the road. "It's the darkness," she said in a huff, turning the engine off.

"The darkness?" he questioned. "Like, the essence of the last Dark One?"

"Yes." Neal nodded and sat back in the seat. "It's like Rumple is inside my head, but not the version we knew. This one is…" Amanda didn't really know how to describe him. Luckily Neal didn't need her to.

"Looks different." Amanda nodded. "How long has this been going on?"

"Since I became the Dark One." Neal frowned at her.

"You've been dealing with this for three years and I'm the first one you are telling?"

"Only because you heard me yelling at him."

Neal shook his head. "How is it that you're not insane?"

"Who says I'm not?" Amanda laughed. "It's why I run as much as I do. That, and to burn off the energy."

"Because of the magic build up in you." He nodded again. "Makes sense on that end." He smiled at her. "I'm sure you didn't get much running time in over the weekend and from what you described, you were also dealing with the demon in your head." Neal opened the door of the car and stepped out. Amanda was a moment behind him. "How about going for that run now?"

[BREAK]

"Wouldn't it be easier to just kill them now mother?" Gale asked as he paced in the darkened room.

"Patience my boy," the woman told him. "It is never that easy with the White family."

"But I am growing tired pretending to love the girl."

"You must learn to play her Gale. Play her like a fiddle. We need to know where they keep the dagger."

"I highly doubt she would know where it is," he scoffed. "I don't think the Dark One even knows where it is." The woman looked thoughtful as she processed the information.

"Well then, you just need to get as close as you can to the family."

Gale scoffed as he sat down on the chair opposite of his mother. "After the meeting with the Dark One, she doesn't trust that I've changed."

"Well you haven't," his mother stated. "You still do my bidding." She sat in silence for another moment. "We must learn from what the Evil Queen had failed to do and improve on our tactics to make Snow White suffer before we wipe both her and her entire family out." She grinned at Gale. "Try to be a lamb and bed the girl."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello my dears. I hope you are all doing well. No, I have not forgotten about this fic. Life happens, especially schooling. It sucks, but class should come first before writing. However, when your mind won't focus until you whip out a few lines, then you just write in spurts. Which is what I have been doing all week. I'm not the proudest of this chapter, but this is what came to me. I do hope you enjoy it.

Amanda was thankful she told Neal about the Rumple in her head. It felt as if a small weight was lifted off her shoulders. He agreed to not tell anyone about what they discussed. To her, Neal was the brother she never had.

She was going over a spell book about Dark Ones when the door opened. She glanced up and grinned, noticing that it was Emma who was paying her a visit. "What can I do for you Ma?" Amanda asked.

"I can't just come and say hi to my daughter?" Emma asked with a smile. It had been a few days since Amanda came back from visiting Alex and the only person she really saw was Neal.

"Hi." Amanda laughed, closing the book and pushing it to the side.

"So how was your trip?" Emma asked as she leaned against the counter.

"Interesting," Amanda said, moving around the counter. "Let's talk over lunch."

"'Kay, I'll have Mom meet us." A quick call to the town hall confirmed that Regina was already waiting at Granny's for them. When the duo arrived Amanda gave Regina a big hug before sitting down across from her, allowing Emma the chance to sit next to her wife. They placed their orders for food before Emma started in again, bugging for details.

"You know you could visit her too, right?" Amanda laughed at her younger mother.

"I'm busy with the station," Emma complained. "Besides, Alex said she didn't want us to visit her yet."

"Is she okay?" Regina asked with concern.

"As far as I could tell," Amanda answered. "Though I think it's more to do with her boyfriend than anything."

"Boyfriend?" both mothers perked up in curiosity.

"Yeah, though I really don't approve of him."

"Who is he?" Emma asked as Ruby was setting down their plates.

"Gale Hawthorne."

"That prick?" Ruby commented, a slight anger rising in her voice. "Is Alex sick or something?"

"They claim he changed, but I get a really uneasy feeling around him." Emma and Regina looked at each other, worry in their expressions. They knew how he had been three years earlier, when Amanda nearly gave into the darkness of taking a life. They were thankful she never stepped down that path, but it didn't stop Emma from putting her own form of punishment on the teen for at minimal underage drinking.

"Did you tell her how you feel?" Amanda nodded.

"You should have seen her though, she looked really happy." Amanda frowned. "How can I do anything more than promise to protect her?"

Regina smiled and took Amanda's hand in hers. "You can't." Amanda looked up into her mother's eyes. "All you can do is all you are doing now."

"Mom's right," Emma backed. "Alex is an adult in college. This is her choice." Amanda smiled at both of them. The former Evil Queen and the Savior were a force to be reckoned with when together, even by their children. They chatted a bit more before they both had to get back to work and Amanda headed off to the strip club where Lacey worked.

Once there she ordered a few drinks and sat down near the stage. She ignored all the other girls that went up until she saw Lacey. She watched how her former girlfriend danced around the pole, gaining the attention of the sleazy men in the place, those that threw their money on the stage for her lithe form. Amanda's lip twitched as she watched them touch Lacey.

"Enjoying yourself Dark One?" a smoky voice asked. Amanda glanced over as she took a sip of her drink.

"Peachy," she replied to the bouncer. He chuckled at her. This was one of the few places that she didn't mind being referred to as the Dark One, as long as it allowed her to drink all the booze she desired. Her eyes drifted back to the dimly-lit stage.

"Do you desire a dance?" he asked.

"Not yet." She drained her glass. "I could go for another though."

The bouncer sighed as he took her empty glass. "I'm glad your mother hasn't been here to see that you are drinking."

Amanda cocked an eyebrow. "Which one?"

"The sheriff," he chuckled before going to refill the drink. Amanda knew full well that Emma would frown on her drinking alcohol but she couldn't really raise the nerve to care. She glanced back towards the stage and saw Lacey putting her breasts into a man's face.

"You could just use your powers to make them disappear," Rumple's voice said. She closed her eyes in annoyance. She was so very tempted to use her magic to make it so it was just her and Lacey, but she also knew that would piss her ex off. Instead she took the drink the bouncer brought back and downed it in one swallow, handing it back to him for a refill. The alcohol burned slightly going down her throat but she liked the pain. Once her third drink was brought around she noticed one of the men near the stage flashing money and talking to another bouncer. The bouncer shook his head and more money was flashed, but again the bouncer shook his head, then looked in Amanda's direction.

Amanda cocked her head curiously as she sipped her drink, already feeling the buzz from the first two. The man got up and angrily walked over to her. "Goddamned cock block," he spat over the music. Amanda raised one eyebrow. "How much do you want?"

"For?" she asked and he nodded to the stage.

"To fuck your bitch."

"What did you say?" Amanda asked as she stood and set her drink down on the table next to her seat. The bouncers near them seemed to be fearful.

"I said I want to fuck your bitch." His beady eyes raked in her figure. "Unless you want some?" Never before had Amanda reacted like she did. Anger flared in her eyes as she flexed her hand, making him choke.

"You would do well to remember me in the future," she said menacingly. She could hear Rumple giggling in her mind and she knew she was on the verge of giving into the darkness. The man's eyes bulged from their sockets as she increased the power of her magic for a moment more before releasing him into a gasping withering mess on the ground. "I'd suggest you leave now before I remove that offending appendage," she sneered. "She is not a bitch or someone to fuck. You want that, I'd suggest you buy a toy." She watched as he scrambled to his feet and ran out of the club.

"Aww, you barely got any fun," Rumple whined. "Should have just killed him for being so disrespectful." Amanda looked back to the stage and saw Lacey scowling at her as she grabbed her drink and slammed it back, disappearing off stage. Once the golden liquid was gone she put her glass down and moved for the back doors.

"You can't go back-" a bouncer started to say before he was silenced by a wave of Amanda's hand as she pushed her way past. She opened the door and stormed into the dressing room where Lacey had gone after she got done dancing.

"What the hell Amanda?" she exclaimed as Amanda closed the door. "What was that all about?"

"What?" Amanda asked as she narrowed her eyes. "You mean saving your sorry ass?"

"I didn't need saving, he had money."

"He wanted to use you like a prostitute!" Amanda growled, stepping closer.

"That's my choice, not yours!"

"You are an idiot Lucas!" Amanda was finally yelling. Both girls could see the anger in each other's eyes, and because of a bit of her alcohol-induced haze Amanda was also feeling a raw lust starting to consume her.

"Go to hell," Lacey growled at her, and Amanda stepped forward, grabbing her arm and transporting them in a grey haze of smoke back to Amanda's apartment. The moment they materialized Amanda crashed her lips against Lacey's, pushing her backwards into the door of the bedroom. Lacey moaned into the kiss, simultaneously pushing Amanda's shoulder and pulling her head closer. Amanda raked one hand into Lacey's shoulder-length brown locks and made a fist, pulling her hair to tilt her mouth up. She sucked a plump lower lip between her teeth and bit firmly, just shy of drawing blood. "Amanda," Lacey whimpered as the lip slipped free. Amanda snapped her head up and stepped back, eyes raking in the nearly naked beauty before her. Lacey was panting as she touched her swollen lip. Lust was in her eyes as well.

"What are you doing dearie?" Rumple's voice rang dimly. "She's yours for the taking."

"Lace, I-" Amanda started to say but her words were cut off by Lacey crushing her mouth against Amanda's. Her arms instinctively went around the lithe brunette, pulling her closer. Amanda moaned as Lacey bit down on her lip. "Lace, stop," Amanda managed to say before her libido got the best of her. Lacey pulled back and looked at her with hurt eyes.

"I thought this was what you wanted," Lacey muttered. Amanda reached up and cupped her cheek.

"Lace, I want this, I do, but I want you to be sure." Amanda could feel the magic in her begging to be released, to try to control the young woman in front of her, but Amanda fought the magic. She swore she could feel Rumple's anger at her resisting the pull to use the dark magic in her. The magic that wanted to make Lacey submit to her to torture until she alone was the only one feeling pleasure. Amanda cared too much for Lacey though to let that happen.

"I'm sure," Lacey whispered, stepping closer to Amanda. She smirked under Amanda's wandering eyes. "I've always loved you, Mandy. I always hoped one day for this." Amanda let out a light moan as Lacey pressed her lips back to hers. As hard as it was, Amanda pulled back again.

"Damnit, Lacey, we can't do this," Amanda groaned and moved towards the wall. "Not like this."

"What do you mean?" Lacey asked and Amanda banged her head into the wall.

"I'm not having sex with you when I'm angry. You could get hurt." Amanda felt Lacey place her hands on her shoulders and drag them down her back, wrapping them around her abdomen as Lacey pushed closer to her from behind.

"Just so you know, I trust you not to hurt me," Lacey whispered into her ear as she hugged Amanda close.

"You once asked me if I believed in true love. Remember that?" Amanda asked as she felt all of her anger and tension leave her body.

"Something like that, yeah, why?" Lacey replied.

Amanda turned around and wrapped her arms around Lacey's waist, looking her in the eye. "I really don't know anymore if what we have is true love, but every time I look at you I can't help but to be protective of you, of wanting you to be mine. As the Dark One, I could make a deal with you that would make you be mine, but as your best friend I want you to choose. Will you come back to me?"

"You really should make her make a deal dearie," Rumple grumbled as Amanda stared into Lacey's eyes.

"Yes," Lacey whispered, putting her arms around Amanda's neck and pulling her in for a kiss. Amanda closed her eyes and savored the moment, wishing that for once she didn't have to fight with the darkness in herself and she could just give into her feelings like a normal person. But she was no normal person, she was the daughter of Regina and Emma Swan-Mills, the former Evil Queen and the Savior, the product of True Love. She was also the Dark One, the most powerful magic wielder known. She sighed into the kiss before noticing a nagging feeling in the back of her mind. Amanda broke the kiss and focused on bringing the said feeling to focus. "Amanda?" Lacey asked in concern as she noticed Amanda was distracted from her kisses and touches.

"Alex?" Amanda whispered in confusion as the feeling became more of a voice in her head, calling to her.

"Alex?" Lacey asked with concern.

"She's in trouble," Amanda said, glancing at Lacey before giving her a quick peck and using her magic to go to her sister. When she materialized her anger spiked yet again. Her sister was stripped naked on a bed, weakly protesting to the body that was above her, penetrating her sexually. Amanda waved her hand and the body flew off of Alex, slamming into the wall and being held there by magic. Amanda stalked closer to the offender and saw that it was Gale. "What do you think you are doing?" Amanda growled.

"She agreed to it," he gasped from the hold. Amanda glanced over her shoulder at her sister who was barely moving and turned back to Gale.

"Doesn't look like she's in a position to consent." Amanda stepped closer, nearly pressing her body against his. Before either realized Amanda reached into his chest and ripped out his heart, stepping back as she held it in her hand. "I warned you, Hawthorne, not to hurt her." She squeezed the heart and he yelled in pain from his held position. "You disobeyed that warning."

"Please!" he yelled in pain. "Stop!" She let up on the squeezing, giving him a moment to breathe.

"I just have one question, why?"

"Why what?" he asked with gasping breaths, only to scream again when she squeezed his heart again. Amanda could hear Rumple's laughter in her mind, fueling her anger.

"Why would you ignore my warning when you knew what I was capable of?" Her voice was darker, more malicious. "You knew what I was three years ago, why in the hell would you ignore it now?" She let up on the heart again, giving him a small reprieve of the pain. "Are you just that stupid Gale? Or did you think that in the past three years that the Dark One had gone soft?" He screamed yet again at another squeeze.

"Crush it already," Rumple taunted as she squeezed a bit harder, feeling the heart ready to crumble to dust in her hand any moment.

"I want to make a deal!" Gale screamed through the pain. Amanda let up on the heart again.

"I'm listening," she entertained with a bored tone. It took him a moment to ask of his deal due to the strained gasps of air he was trying to take in.

"I promise you'll never see me again, I'll never bother your family again, as long as you let me live," he proposed. Amanda turned to look at Alex, who was finally pushing herself up into a sitting position and weakly looking at Amanda.

"Don't," she whispered her plea to her sister, but Amanda had already made her decision.

Amanda simply stared down at the heart for a moment before she said, "no deal," and with a quick squeeze the heart turned to dust in her hand. Rumple's cackling rang in her ears as Alex's protests called to her, but already Amanda could feel the shift in power within herself.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So i wanted to show a little sweetness between Amanda and Regina, hence where this chapter came from. I know it's short, but I hope you, my loyal readers, enjoy it. Again, reviews are greatly appreciated!

_Regina was sitting in her study, reading a book on the lounge in front of the fireplace, when she heard little feet coming down the stairs. She had tucked both Alexis and Amanda in nearly an hour ago and was waiting on Emma to come home from her late afternoon shift at the station. Regina set the book down on the coffee table in front of her as she heard a soft knock on the door._

_"_ _Mommy?" Amanda's little voice called out tentatively. Regina turned and smiled at her eight-year-old._

_"_ _Hey sweetie, what are you doing up?" she asked the child. Amanda looked so shy as she held onto her little stuffed puppy dog that she always had with her to bed._

_"_ _I had a bad dream," she said, moving to her mother's side. Regina took her onto her lap and wrapped her arms around Amanda in a hug._

_"_ _I'm sorry sweetheart," Regina said and placed a kiss her temple. "Do you want to talk about it?" Amanda snuggled into her chest as she shook her head no. "You just want me to hold you?" Amanda nodded. Regina continued to smile as she held her youngest against her, thankful that she was still at the age of wanting to be held after a nightmare. She missed the days of when first Henry was like this, then Alex._

_"_ _Mommy?" Amanda quietly asked a little while later._

_"_ _Yes?"_

_"_ _Can you tell me a story?" Regina's heart fluttered at the sweet request._

_"_ _What would you like to hear sweetie?"_

_"_ _Can you tell me about the horses you used to ride?" Regina let out a little chuckle at the request. Amanda was always fascinated by the tales that Regina told of her days in the Enchanted Forrest as a young girl, riding her horses. So Regina held her daughter closer as she told her of the fun memories she had of riding horses, her smile never leaving her face as her daughter snuggled even closer to her._

_It was nearly an hour and a half later when Emma arrived home, exhausted from work, and walked into the study when she saw the lights still on, only to see their youngest curled up on Regina's chest, thumb in her mouth, and both of them asleep on the lounger. She smiled as she took out her phone, snapping a picture of the serene scene. She knew there may not be many more moments like this where Amanda would cuddle up with them, so to capture a moment like this was precious to both her and Regina. Alex had stopped doing so at the same age Amanda was now, so did Henry per Regina's recollections._

_Regina's eyes fluttered open as she sensed her wife nearby, vaguely registering the weight on her chest. "Hey," Emma whispered gently, brushing a few stray hairs off of Regina's face. "Want me to carry her upstairs?"_

_"_ _No," Regina answered in the same hushed tone. "Just let her sleep here."_

_"_ _On you?" Emma mirthed. Regina nodded, settling back down and stroking her hand over her daughter's back. Emma chuckled a little as she pulled a blanket over the duo and gave her wife a kiss, then headed up the stairs to the bedroom to go to sleep._


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked that flashback. It was a lot of fun to write it. Anyways, onward with the darkness and the show...

Amanda stood in the small bedroom with dust on her hands from the crushed heart, Gale's now lifeless body crumpled to the floor on the wall and Alex staring at her in a dopey horror. "Took you long enough dearie," Rumple's voice rang with a cackling laughter in her head. Amanda felt the freedom of choosing darkness in her heart.

"What did you do?" she heard Alex ask. Amanda turned to her and saw her struggling to stand. As she went to help Alex up, however, her sister pulled away from her. "Amanda, why?" Her hurt shown in her eyes as she looked from Gale's body to Amanda's blank expression.

"He was hurting you," Amanda simply said. "I stopped him. Permanently."

"You killed him."

"You're safe now."

"No." Amanda's brow furrowed at her statement. "No, you used your magic to kill."

"I used my magic to protect," Amanda defended. Alex shook her head and moved to get up but collapsed back to the bed. "He had been warned."

"By who? You, or the Dark One?" Alex looked close to tears and that was what nearly broke Amanda. She looked at her hands and realized that even though it felt good doing what she wanted, she wasn't sure she wanted to deal with the consequences of doing so, but it was already too late.

"Alex-"

"No, you don't talk to me," she spat, grabbing her clothes and throwing them on. "Not now." Amanda sighed in a defeat, realizing she may have just lost her sister. She waved her hand and Gale's body disappeared. "What the hell?"

"He's back in Storybrooke at the morgue," Amanda simply stated. "I should bring you home, you need help."

"I'm not going anywhere with you," Alex scoffed. "You just crossed a line I'm not sure you can even come back from." Amanda looked at her hurt.

"If that's how you feel."

"It is." Amanda closed her eyes and looked away from her sister, disappearing from the room in a swirl of dark grey smoke. Alex watched her go before breaking down into a sobbing mess. Her own sister had chosen darkness finally. They were all hoping she was strong enough to fight it, and for the longest time she seemed to be able to do it. Alex quieted her sobs as she finished getting dressed, looking at a few of the bruises that Gale had given her when he became violent earlier. She wasn't upset that he was dead, for Gale finally revealed earlier to her that he actually had no feelings whatsoever for her, but was more upset that Amanda had chosen to kill him. Alex pulled out her phone and called one of the few numbers she could. "Hello, Mom, we have a problem…"

[BREAK}

Amanda had reappeared on the edge of one of the cliffs overlooking the port leading into Storybrooke. The salty air stung her lungs as she breathed deep. "How do you feel dearie?" Rumple asked her.

"I shouldn't have done it," she flatly answered.

"That's not how you feel though." Amanda's lip twitched in a sneer. "Come on, tell me."

"I feel free," she said softly. "I'm free to make my own decisions, damn the consequences." He giggled at her confession. "I killed him to protect her. That's all." Amanda took another breath of air and suddenly found herself in the living room at the mansion in front of Emma, Alex, and Regina. A startled look in her eyes revealed this was not where she expected to be, but one glance at Regina's hand told her why she suddenly was here. "Mom?" she asked, eyebrows furrowed as she locked eyes with Regina's brown ones, seeing the sadness and worry in them. Amanda's eyes darted to Emma, who wore a similar expression to Regina. Finally her eyes landed on Alex and her expression dropped, putting together that she had told their parents what happened and they were trying to do an intervention. "I take it you know then," she simply stated as she relaxed her stance.

"We didn't want to do this," Regina said, lowering the dagger in her hand, "But you weren't answering your phone or any other method."

"Why'd you do it Amanda?" Emma asked, anger starting to work its way into her voice. Amanda looked directly at Alex as she answered.

"To protect her." Amanda gave a small smirk. "And I would gladly do it again."

"Amanda, this isn't you," Regina said, stepping forward. "You don't kill at random."

"It wasn't random," Amanda said, turning to her mother. "He drugged her and was raping her." Regina and Emma looked at Alex.

"Is that true?" Emma asked her. Alex dipped her head and nodded.

"My actions are completely justifiable."

"It also set you down a path you may not have wanted," Regina said.

"No, it didn't Mom," Amanda growled. "That path was started for me by Killian turning me into the Dark One." They all winced at the words. No one really liked to mention that event over three years earlier.

"And now you just have to embrace it more," Rumple said in his sing-songy voice again. Amanda closed her eyes and turned to his apparition that only she could see.

"Would you just shut the fuck up for once!" she screamed. Behind her Regina and Emma shared a concerned look. "Get the fuck out of my goddamned head already!"

"Amanda, who are you talking to sweetie?" Regina asked cautiously.

"Rumple," she answered without hesitation. "At least, that's who appears to me." Amanda continued to glare at the grinning impish man.

"Appears to you?" Emma asked, carefully taking a step towards her daughter.

"He hasn't left me alone for three years." Amanda finally shifted her gaze to Emma. "Ever since that damned dagger got my name on it." Amanda turned and looked at the dagger still in Regina's hand.

"What is he telling you?" Regina asked carefully.

"Same thing as always, embrace the darkness." Amanda's hardened gaze softened. "I'm not sure if I can resist anymore." Amanda looked between her mothers. "Part of me doesn't want to resist."

"You need to," Emma said and Amanda shifted her gaze. There was a slight shift in Amanda's gaze that Emma didn't see, an annoyance, but Regina did.

"Amanda, I think it's time you and I take a walk," she said, placing the dagger in the waist band of her pants. Emma looked as if she was going to argue but thought better of it.

"Where to?" Amanda asked.

"Somewhere where we can just talk, you and me." Regina smiled her loving motherly smile. "Like we used to when you were little." Amanda softened again and nodded. Amanda moved towards the foyer and waited for Regina. Regina walked over to Emma and grasped her shoulders. "It's going to be okay," she whispered. Emma gave a long exhale and nodded, a lone tear making it down her cheek. "This situation can still be saved. She's still our little girl."

"I know she'll always be our little girl Gina," Emma said, caving and putting her face against Regina's neck. "I just don't want to lose her to darkness."

"We'll still fight for the light, I promise." Regina kissed her wife tenderly. "We'll be back later."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I still have everyone's attentions still. Gale's death was a catalyst, as you will soon find out. I just couldn't resist a little Mama SQ moment.


	19. Chapter 19

“Oh my dear sweet boy,” Gale’s mother sighed as she turned away from the mirror above the fireplace she used to watch his death. If anyone was to have been watching the woman she would not have seemed like a mother who had just lost her child, but rather a chess piece on a board. She swirled the cup of tea in her hand. “I had warned you not to underestimate the Dark One.”  She chuckled lowly as she took a sip of her tea. “Oh well, this only serves to punish the White family even faster than I anticipated. Not that I mind.” She chucked the cup into the fire, smashing it as she swept out of the room.

 

[BREAK]

 

The walk to the cemetery was tense. Considering that Regina hadn’t been to her vault in nearly three years she was nervous. The only other person that had known she had been at the vault at all was Emma, and that was because they had agreed it was the best place that Regina could have hid the dagger. So for Regina to be visiting the place twice in one day slightly unnerved her. Only time prior to anything related to the dagger was around the time that she and Emma had been trying to conceive Alexis and Amanda. Most of the items in the vault were used for dark purposes, and she knew that it would call to Amanda’s darkness, but it was the only place that Regina figured she would be able to get Amanda to open up fully to her.

 

When Amanda realized where they were headed she stopped walking a few yards from the mausoleum where Regina’s vault was held. Regina turned around when she reached the doors, noticing that Amanda was no longer right behind her.

 

“Are you sure this is safe Mom?” Amanda asked with hesitance. “I mean, I’ve heard the rumors…”

 

“What you heard were of what I was,” Regina stated as she looked softly upon her daughter. Amanda wrapped her arms around herself and shuffled from one foot to the other. “You know that’s not how I am.” Regina stepped towards Amanda and wrapped her arms around her, pulling Amanda close. “Come on, we’re going to take a look at some books, see if we can fight the darkness another way than just resisting it.”

 

“Love is weakness, dearie,” Rumple’s voice rang in her head. “You really should just off her, free yourself of all those ties that bind.”

 

Regina felt Amanda tense in her arms and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Don’t listen to the voices, sweetheart,” she whispered.

 

“I won’t,” Amanda replied, pulling back out of her mother’s embrace. She glared at the apparition of Rumple as he sneered at back at her while she followed Regina into the vault. It was some time later, both women surrounded by books, when Amanda groaned and slammed a book shut, startling Regina. “This is ridiculous.”

 

“What is?” Regina asked.

 

“There is nothing in these books that says how to get rid of the darkness without killing me.” Amanda sighed as she started to pace. “You know, I’m beginning to think that this is a waste of time.”

 

“Why is that?” Regina asked as she watched her daughter pace.

 

“Because maybe this was who I was always meant to be.” Amanda sat down on a crate. “Maybe I’m supposed to succumb to the darkness.”

 

“It’s tempting, isn’t it?” Regina asked, drawing her daughter’s attention. “To hell with any consequences, to indulge your impulses, do whatever you want.” Amanda looked away from her mother with a guilty expression. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” Regina moved to kneel in front of her daughter. “It feels good to deal out whatever punishment you may want to, right?”

 

“Yes,” Amanda whispered, meeting Regina’s eyes. “Is it really that wrong?”

 

Regina cupped her daughter’s cheek, trying to convey that she understood where her daughter was coming from. “Of course it is, but it’s also human. To want that power, that control, it’s a very human want. But you have to be able to overcome that, to do what is right.” Regina could see the tears coming down her daughter’s cheeks as she broke.

 

“I didn’t want to kill him Mom, I swear.” Amanda wrapped her arms around Regina as she started to sob. “I just wanted to make him pay for hurting Alex.”

 

“I know, honey, I know.” Regina moved the two of them to the ground where she held Amanda close. “I probably would have done nearly the same thing in your position. But sweetheart, you did kill him. We just have to make sure you don’t give into that impulse again.” Amanda’s hand grazed over the dagger at her mother’s hip and gently pulled it out.

 

“Then command me not to,” she whispered as she stared at her name on the dagger.

 

“No,” Regina stated, placing her hand on top of the one griping the dagger. “I will not take your free will away from you. The only way to truly fight the darkness is to do it yourself, not being commanded to.” Amanda dropped her hand down as she rested her head on her mother’s shoulder.

 

“You’d use it if you really had to, right?” Amanda asked. “Like you did earlier tonight?”

 

Regina sighed, stroking her daughter’s blonde locks. “Yes. But I only used it tonight because we couldn’t get ahold of you any other way.”

 

“It’s okay, Mom,” Amanda said, pulling back, her tears now stilled. “You and Ma always do what you have to for the greater good.” Regina smiled and kissed her daughter’s forehead before moving to stand. “I promise I’ll fight harder.” Regina couldn’t help but to pull her daughter in for a hug at those words.

 

“I believe in you,” she said as they pulled apart and Amanda handed her the dagger back. “Shall we call it a night?” Amanda laughed and nodded, and they both moved towards the exit. “You know, I’m proud of you.”

 

“For what?” Amanda asked as they exited the doors and Regina turned to lock it up.

 

“For fighting the darkness for the past few years. I was honestly wondering when you would snap. Even just a little.” She turned her head to flash Amanda a smile. “Resisting the power is never easy.”

 

“So says the Evil Queen,” a sinister voice cut through the darkness a moment before both Amanda and Regina were sent flying through the air. “Tell me, your Majesty, how many lives did you take in your time? Passing the trait on to your children now?”

 

Amanda pushed herself up and glanced over at Regina who was doing the same before looking at the owner of the voice. There was something familiar about her that Amanda was trying to place. The woman had a round but bony looking face, hawk-like eyes, and her dark hair that was traced with silver strands was pulled back into a bun. It also looked as if the woman wore a corset a little too much in Amanda’s opinion. Still, something about the woman looked extremely familiar.

 

“What are you talking about?” Regina spat as she took in the newcomer. The new woman looked at Regina in disdain.

 

“Oh please, don’t you dare start pulling the goody two shoes card now, Regina.”

 

“Don’t talk to my mother that way,” Amanda growled, feeling the power in her rising.

 

“You should be one to talk, child,” the woman sneered. “After all, you did kill my son.” Amanda pulled up in shock.

 

“You’re Gale’s mother?” she asked as Regina reached her side.

 

“Yes, I am. And now you should pay. I challenge you to a duel at the town square tomorrow at noon, both of you.” She smirked. “I do hope the Dark One would consider to fight honorably, considering you are the bastard child of the savior.”

 

“Hold on, a witches duel?” Regina questioned.

 

“Of course, your Majesty. Noon, tomorrow.” The woman waved her hand as she disappeared in a puff of yellow smoke, and a slight glint of silver caught Amanda’s eye. Amanda looked at Regina as she stared shocked at the spot the mysterious woman had just been.

 

“What does that mean, Mom? A witches duel?” Regina turned to look at her, a look of terror in her eyes. “Mom, what’s going on?”

 

“We need to get home, I need to talk to Emma.” Regina started looking around herself and tracing back her steps to where she had landed.  “Where is it?”

 

“Where’s what Mom?” Amanda rushed forward, trying to follow Regina’s frame of mind. “Mom!”

 

“The dagger,” she replied absently as she looked around. Amanda stood still as she realized what the glint of silver was she saw before the mysterious woman disappeared.

 

“We have a problem,” Amanda said sternly, and Regina turned to look at her. “That woman has the dagger.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know a few readers may think that I rushed over the whole "Gale raped Alex" issue in chapter 18, and may think I rushed past that point, but I want to point out that Amanda was still in a pissed off mode at that scene. I was using my own feelings about the issue when writing it, and quite frankly I have seen a loved one go through similar, all I wanted to do was be pissed and rip the guilty person apart. The heart to heart stuff came later as justice was being served to the asshat. I will be having a heart to heart moment with Alex and Amanda about the situation soon, but please do not think that I was trying to purposely rush it or blow it off. I was merely trying to portray high-running emotions in one moment in time.
> 
> A/N 2:Dear readers, reviews would be the best Christmas gift I could ask for. So please review. Thank you in advance! Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Happy Holidays everyone! :)

 

_"_ _We have a problem," Amanda said sternly, and Regina turned to look at her. "That woman has the dagger."_

"What?" Regina asked, her eyes growing wide with shock. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I don't feel its pull around here." Regina had a hint of confusion in her eyes and Amanda explained. "There's a constant pull towards the dagger since I'm attached to it. It was much easier for me to ignore it before, but now…"

"Okay, we need to get home. Now." Regina waved her hand, enveloping them both in purple smoke, and they reappeared in the kitchen of the mansion.

"Hey you guys," Emma greeted from her spot at the kitchen island, sandwich fixings all around her.

"We have an issue Emma," Regina powered into, striding up to the island and grabbing the squeeze bottle of mayo from Emma's hand.

"Okay?" she asked as she put down the piece of bread in her hand, her sandwich now forgotten.

"We no longer have the dagger." Emma stared at Regina as the words sunk in. "We were attacked at the vault."

"By who?" Emma asked, astounded.

Gale's mother," Amanda answered, stepping up to the island. "She's pissed that I killed him. Not that I blame her."

"While that may be true, we also have to deal with the duel we were challenged to."

"Duel? Like when Zelena-"

"Yes," Regina cut Emma off. "The woman challenged both Amanda and myself to a duel at noon in the town square tomorrow."

"Technically today," Amanda muttered as she glanced at the clock, which was showing the time to be a little after one in the morning.

"Showdown at high noon," Emma mocked. "You're seriously not going to do this, are you?"

"We have to," Regina said with a slight sigh. "Biggest problem we have though is she has the dagger."

"Hold on, the woman that attacked you two has Amanda's dagger?" Emma cast a worried glance at Amanda. "What the hell is she planning?"

"If we knew I don't think we'd be sitting here talking Ma," Amanda sassed.

"Amanda May," Regina scolded, "Do not talk to either of us like that." Amanda retreated herself a bit, looking down to the floor.

"Sorry moms," she uttered, embarrassed that her anger was starting to show. Regina reached over and grasped her hand with a gentle squeeze.

"Regardless, someone else having the dagger means that they may try to get you to turn against us."

"She knew you from the past Mom," Amanda recalled. "She called you the Evil Queen." Amanda looked up at Regina with confusion. "She looked really familiar."

"There's a lot of people from town that know me from the past dear," Regina stated.

"But they really don't call you the Evil Queen anymore," Emma stated. "Everyone in town knows you changed." Regina reached out and clasped her other hand over Emma's.

"Doesn't mean I still don't have enemies," Regina said.

"Your biggest enemy though used to be Grandma," Amanda said as she stared at the countertop, lost in thought. "Maybe she has an idea of who could still be holding a grudge against you."

"Worth a shot," Emma agreed, looking Regina in the eye. "We can call her at daybreak." Regina simply nodded and gave both their hands a squeeze before turning her attention to Amanda.

"You should get some rest, if we need to fight tomorrow." Amanda shook her head. "Go. I need to talk to Ma anyways." Amanda sighed and rose, giving both her mothers a kiss on the cheek and a hug before heading up to the room they still kept for her. Once she was sure Amanda was out of hearing range, she released a big sigh.

"Regina?" Emma probed.

"I'm worried Emma," Regina said, running her thumb over Emma's hand.

"You're scared."

"No, I'm worried, I don't-" One glance into Emma's eyes had Regina changing her tune. "Okay, fine, I'm scared. This woman has the dagger, and Amanda has already given in to the darkness enough that she can feel its pull."

"That's why you were able to call her with it earlier," Emma stated gently.

"Yes. I'm afraid that whoever this woman is she's going to turn Amanda against us."

"She'll fight it," Emma stated but Regina shook her head.

"She can't, that's the curse of the Dark One. Whoever controls the dagger-"

"Controls the Dark One," Emma finished grimly. The couple sat quiet for a few moments, taking in the gravity of the situation they were in. "We have to have hope," Emma finally said and Regina smirked at her.

"You sound a lot like Snow right now."

"She is my mother. But seriously, Amanda fought the darkness for three years. Three years, Gina."

"I know. But Emma, we have to face the fact that she already started into that slope by taking that boy's heart and crushing it."

"And I'm sure she regrets doing that." Regina nodded in agreement, remembering the conversation in the vault. "It shows that she still has good in her. She can fight the pull."

"God I hope you are right," Regina sighed, pulling Emma to her and burying her head in her chest.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews/comments greatly appreciated!

When Amanda opened her eyes she realized that she was surrounded by thick, green trees, sunlight streaming through the branches onto the leaf scattered ground. Confusion filled her mind as she looked around herself, trying to place why the area looked so familiar to her. She glanced down and saw she was still wearing the jeans and tee she had on earlier.

"It has been a while since we were here, isn't it dearie?" Rumple's voice interrupted her thoughts as she spun around to face him.

"You just can't leave me alone, can you?" she growled at him.

"Ah, no." Amanda rolled her eyes and turned away from him, trying to walk into the woods. "After so many years of trying to get you to listen to me," he stated before the voice talking to her turned feminine, "perhaps you could listen to me." Amanda spun back around and came face to face with a female that resembled Rumple but had more of a golden hue and was cloaked with a black robe.

"Who are you?" Amanda asked the figure.

"The first Dark One," she responded with a smirk. "Since you weren't responding to Rumpelstiltskin's suggestions, I figured I would make myself known to you, give you a bit more comfort that you are not the first woman to be a Dark One."

"I never asked to be a Dark One," Amanda stated, trying to school her features like she had seen Regina do many times in the past.

"No, but you are one. You should start acting like it." This was the most direct approach she had seen the voice in her head take. Rumple merely kept suggesting to give into the darkness, this one was telling her to.

"No." A look of surprise crossed the Dark One's face at Amanda's reluctance.

"No?" The woman circled Amanda in almost a predatory pace. "I don't think you understand. You _will_ give in to the darkness. The pull won't leave you until you do. If you continue to resist it, everyone you love will be affected."

"Don't you dare threaten my family," Amanda ground out from clenched teeth.

"I'm not threatening; I'm telling you what will happen." The woods changed instantly to a cemetery, shrouded in a white fog. The only thing visible were the headstones.

"What is this?" Amanda asked as she looked out over the stones.

"What will happen sooner rather than later unless you give in." Amanda looked at the Dark One and she nodded towards the headstones. Fear crept into Amanda's heart as she looked back at the stones, seeing that they held the names of her family. The first stone she saw was the one for her mothers; next to them was for Henry and Alex, followed by her grandparents, uncle, and the rest of Storybrooke. All of the years of death were within a year or two of the current date. "Being a Dark One means you are immortal. Eventually they would all die, but when you refuse to accept your fate death tends to be sped up."

"It was not my fate to become a Dark One," Amanda uttered as she ran her hand over her mothers' tombstone. "I was forced this hand. I will not let them die like this." Amanda turned and stormed to be face to face with the Dark One. "I was born of light, and I will stay light, and no one will change that."

The Dark One merely smirked. "We shall see."

"Amanda?" A voice called through the fog, drawing her attention. "Amanda." She could feel a pull and realized that everything she was seeing around her was fading away, as if this was all part of her mind. "Amanda!"

Amanda slowly realized that everything she had seen _was_ all in her mind, and the voice she was hearing was her sister's. When she opened her eyes she saw Alex's worried face over hers. "Alex," Amanda gasped, wrapping her arms around her sister's neck and pulling her close.

"Hey, you okay?" Alex asked her, wrapping her arms around Amanda. "You were muttering in your sleep."

"I didn't realize I passed out," Amanda confessed as she pulled back, realizing that she was laying down on her old bed. "Are you okay?"

Alex gave her a small smile from where she sat on the bed. "I'm fine." Amanda cocked an eyebrow at her sister. "Don't give me that look."

"I learned it from Ma, Alex." Amanda propped herself up on her elbows. "Something is bugging you."

Alex huffed and flopped down next to Amanda on the bed. Amanda relaxed her arms so she laid down next to Alex and waited patiently for her sister to start talking. "I wanted to say thanks," Alex softly murmured. "For saving me." She turned her head so her chocolate orbs met Amanda's baby blues. "I had told him to stop, but he didn't."

"It wasn't your fault Alex." Amanda turned onto her side to face her sister better.

"Are you sure?" Alex looked like she was about to cry. "He was my boyfriend Mandy. I loved him."

"He disrespected you. He should have listened when you told him no." She wiped a few stray strands of hair off of Alex's face. "And I'm sorry too."

"For what?"

"Killing him." Amanda shifted her gaze onto the pillow Alex was laying on. "But at the moment, I couldn't stand the thought of anyone desecrating my big sister like he was doing."

"I honestly don't know what I would have done if you hadn't shown up," Alex confessed. "The more I think about it, the more I keep thinking that I deserved it."

"You did not deserve that," Amanda said sternly, raising her eyes to meet Alex's. "Alex, you are the sweetest, most caring person I know. After the hell you've been through, you deserve someone who isn't going to take advantage of you when you are down. Someone who will respect you and treat you like the princess you are." Alex smiled at the last comment. "And I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that you are always safe and you know that you are always loved."

Alex threw her arms around Amanda's neck and hugged her close. "You are the best baby sister anyone could ask for."

"Thanks." Amanda patted her arm and rose off the bed. "Stay here and rest, I have to go to my apartment for a little bit."

"Be safe Ladybug," Alex called as Amanda poofed out of her room and back to her apartment above the pawn shop.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: okay, I wanted to do a Christmas story of The Next Savior characters, and this is what my mind came up with while I worked on Christmas eve. Enjoy!

_Christmas eve was upon the Swan-Mills household, and the children were excited. Henry was home on break from college and trying to wrangle his two younger sisters while their mothers finished decorating and cooking for the big family meal. Of course Regina was the one in the kitchen and Emma was the one trying to finish putting the tree up because she waited until last minute to get it._

_"Henry, up!" Amanda squealed with delight as he set Alexis down from lifting her over his head._

_"Hold on Ladybug!" Henry called out as he reached for the little blonde and lifted her into the air. Emma laughed and shook her head as she watched the children play while she tried to finish the tree before Snow, David, and Neal came over for the evening meal._

_"Mama, can I help?" Alexis asked as she tugged on Emma's shirt._

_"Sure kid, here are some of the ornaments, you choose where to put them," Emma handed a small box of ornaments to the small brunette so she could hang them. The six-year-old beamed as she eyed the baubles._

_"I wanna help too!" Amanda exclaimed while still in Henry's arms._

_"How about you do the star, Ladybug?" Emma said, flicking her daughter on the nose with her finger. Everyone had taken to Henry's nickname of Ladybug with Amanda, being he gave her the nickname when she was playing with ladybugs at the age of two._

_"Yeah!" the excited four-year-old squealed._

_"Stop squirming Ladybug, I don't want to drop you," Henry laughed at her._

_"The star, Henry, the star!" Her little hands were reaching for the tree topper in excitement._

_"Calm down, you want me to help you?"_

_Her little bright blue eyes lit up even more. "Yeah!" Emma laughed at how the two were together; since she was born Henry and Amanda had been almost like two peas in a pod._

_"How's that tree coming?" Regina asked as she entered the living room, wiping her hands on the apron tied around her waist._

_"How come she gets to do the star?" Alexis pouted as Henry handed the star to Amanda._

_"Alex, you got to do the star for nearly five years," Emma pointed out. "Let your little sister do it for once." Alexis just increased her pout and set the box of ornaments down, going to sit on the couch as she was no longer in the mood to help decorate._

_"Hey now, no pouting," Henry said as he lifted Amanda up to reach the tree top. "Santa doesn't like that." The pout slowly disappeared from Alex's face as she stared at her big brother. "Remember the song?"_

_"Better not pout, better not cry," Amanda started singing, causing Regina and Emma to grin at their youngest._

_"Better not shout, I'm telling you why," Henry sang next._

_"Santa Claus is coming to town," Emma finished off, finishing the lights on the tree and plugging it in, lighting the room up._

_"He sees you when you're sleeping," Regina continued the next verse of the song as she sat down next to her eldest daughter and pulled her onto her lap. "He knows when you're awake."_

_"He knows if you've been bad or good," Henry sang again._

_"So be good for good's sake!" Amanda piped in, causing her sister to laugh._

_"Santa Claus is coming to town!" the family sang together right before the doorbell rang._

_"I got it!" Alex exclaimed, scrambling off her mother's lap and rushing for the door. Regina stood up and was surprised by a kiss from Emma as the blonde moved towards the door._

_"Merry Christmas!" David's voice called into the house as they entered the mansion._

_"Grandpa!" Amanda squealed, squirming so much Henry had no choice but to put her down. By the time she reached him he had just let go of Alex._

_"Ladybug!" he laughed, wrapping her in a bear hug and lifting her up._

_"Merry Christmas, Mom," Emma greeted Mary Margaret with a hug._

_"Merry Christmas Emma," she replied, releasing her daughter and moving to hug Regina. "Merry Christmas Regina, the house looks amazing."_

_"Thank you Snow," Regina replied._

_"We helped!" Alex piped in._

_"Yeah!" Amanda yelled from her spot in David's arms._

_"Where's Neal?" Emma asked, looking around for her little brother._

_"Playing outside," David responded. "The snow is the packing kind."_

_"Can we play outside, please?" Alex begged Emma and Regina._

_"Pwease?" Amanda begged as well. The adults all laughed at the two younger children._

_"Only for a little bit," Regina said, getting her yelps of joy as the two youngsters ran off to get their winter clothes on._

_"I'll watch them Mom," Henry said as he followed the two streaks out the door._

_"Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes!" Regina called out to him as the door closed._

_"He's got it covered honey," Emma chuckled as she wrapped her arms around Regina from behind the brunette. "You know the kids are fine."_

_"Do you need any help in the kitchen?" Mary Margaret asked as she cleared her throat to the two lovebirds._

_"The roast just needs to finish cooking," Regina said, relishing the hold her wife had on her. David copied the move Emma did with Regina on Mary Margaret._

_"Well we told Leroy to be here at eight, so that'll give us plenty of time to clean everything up," David stated._

_"I still can't believe he keeps agreeing to play Santa," Emma laughed. "You think he'd tire of it."_

_"He says he does it because of the smiles from the kids," Mary Margaret shrugged. "Something about they help him remember to stay young." They all laughed at the thought, and Regina pulled away from Emma's hold to check on the roast. Emma moved to the window in the living room, watching the children play outside. Though Henry was the oldest, he still acted like he was a little kid around his sisters and uncle. Emma watched as Neal threw a big snowball at Amanda and gasped as she saw Amanda instantly melt it with a fireball in her hands._

_"Regina!" she called out to her wife as she watched Henry approach his youngest sister as she looked like she was going to start crying._

_"What? What is it?" Regina asked, quickly appearing at her wife's side._

_"I think we have a little magician on our hands," Emma stated, nodding towards the window where they saw Henry pick up a now sobbing Amanda and hold her close. "I just watched her melt a snowball with a fireball."_

_"That really doesn't surprise me, dear. She is the product of True Love." She placed a kiss to her wife's lips as she turned away and went back to the kitchen as Emma turned back to the window, seeing Henry and Amanda now trying to sneak up on Neal._

_Dinner came and went without much ado, and once the dishes were put away the children gathered around Mary Margaret as she read 'The Night Before Christmas' in front of the fireplace. Amanda had curled up into Henry's lap, sucking on her thumb as she listened to her grandmother read; Alex and Neal were enraptured by the story, oohing and ahhing at different parts. When Snow was done reading, there was a rap at the door, and in walked "Santa Claus". Both Alex and Neal were bouncing around excitedly, but Amanda took a little longer to respond as Henry had to wake her up from his lap. The parents insisted that all the kids had to get a group picture with Santa, Amanda and Alex sitting on his lap with Neal on one side and Henry on the other. The children got a little trinket toy and then Santa had to leave to do his work. While Alex and Neal headed up to Alex's room to go to bed, Amanda snuggled into Regina's arms, thumb back in her mouth._

_"Are you tired Ladybug?" Regina asked the child. Amanda nodded._

_"Want me to put her to bed?" Emma asked._

_"No, I want Mommy." The two women looked at each other and smiled. The little girl made her opinion heard._

_"Okay, Ladybug, I'll put you to bed," Regina agreed, hoisting the little girl up so she could stand. Emma kissed her goodnight, as did Mary Margaret and David, and then Regina took her up and tucked her into bed._

_"Mommy?" Amanda called out._

_"Yes Ladybug?" Regina asked, running her hand over the soft golden locks on her daughter's head._

_"Will Santa really bring me presents? I did a bad today."_

_"What do you mean sweetheart?" Regina was confused by her daughter's comment._

_"I used magic. Henry said I wasn't bad, but I feel bad."_

_"Why do you feel bad?" she asked Amanda._

_"'Cause I never did it before."_

_"I see." Regina chuckled, smiling softly at her daughter. "Well Henry was right, you did not do anything bad. Mama saw it happen. Now me and Mama will just have to teach you to control it. How does that sound?"_

_"So I'm still good?" Amanda lit up at the prospect of still being on the 'good list'._

_"Yes, you are still very good." Regina kissed her forehead and smoothed the blankets over Amanda. "As long as you go to sleep so Santa can come back to drop your presents off."_

_"Night Mommy, I love you," Amanda said and closed her eyes to go to sleep._

_"Goodnight Ladybug, I love you too."_


	23. Chapter 23

When Amanda rematerialized, the only light entering the bedroom of the apartment was coming from the streetlight outside. She took a shaky breath as her eyes fell upon the figure curled up under the blankets on the bed. A small smile crept upon her face as she watched the steady rise and fall of the sheets as Lacey slept.

_I'm so in love with her,_ Amanda thought as she sat down in the chair near the bed, content to just watch her girlfriend sleeping. _So why in the hell am I doing this?_ Amanda released a small groan as she placed her head in her hands. Fear was settling into her heart as she thought more and more about the upcoming battle and about what the mysterious woman was going to do with the dagger.

"'Manda?" Lacey's sleepy voice called out in the darkness, barely breaking into Amanda's thoughts. "What are you doing?"

"Go back to sleep pup," Amanda quietly said, but Lacey shook her head and sat up.

"No, not until you come here." Amanda smirked and rose to crawl into the queen-sized bed with her. Instantly Lacey wrapped herself over Amanda's chest, head resting on her heart. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Amanda answered, running her hand through Lacey's hair.

"Yes there is," Lacey stated, snuggling closer. "I can smell the fear on you."

"Damn wolf sense," Amanda muttered, earning her a swat of fingers on her chest. "Fine. I may have gotten into a bit of trouble tonight."

Lacey raised her head and looked Amanda in the eye. "What kind of trouble?"

"The kind that could get me and Mom killed." Lacey's brow furrowed as she sat up. "I killed Gale."

"Hawthorne? That jerk?" Lacey questioned and Amanda nodded. "Why?"

"He was hurting Alex," Amanda whispered, not wanting to relive the pain she had seen in her sister's eyes from the whole event.

"Then he deserved it." Amanda smirked and released a 'hmph' at Lacey's bluntness.

"As much as he deserved it, it also got his mother to attack us."

"Old lady Hawthorne?" Lacey exclaimed, now fully awake. "She attacked you and Regina? Doesn't she know who you two are? Who your family is?" She let out huff. "Or what you are?"

"She's got magic as well Lace," Amanda said, sitting up and flicking a wrist at the lamp, turning it on for more light in the room. "She challenged me and Mom to a duel."

"Well you'll just whoop her ass," Lacey stated matter-of-factly, until she saw Amanda look away. "Unless I'm missing something?"

"She has the dagger." Amanda could feel the mood in the room turn cold as the realization hit Lacey. "She could order me to kill my mom and I wouldn't be able to stop it." Amanda let out harsh laugh. "I'm surprised she hadn't done it already." Lacey scooted forward and took Amanda's face in her hands, forcing the blonde to look at her.

"You can fight it," Lacey said, her golden eyes looking into Amanda's. "I believe in you." Amanda raised her hand to caress Lacey's cheek.

"Why?" Amanda questioned, her own confidence in herself fading. "After all I've done, all that I am, why do you care?"

"Because I love you," Lacey sighed, running a hand through the back of Amanda's hair. "You can piss me off until I want to rip your throat out all you want, but I've seen the little girl who will stick up for the other kids on the playground, the one who would randomly give me a flower bracelet you made from dandelions, and share your lunch with me if you saw I ate mine too early in the day." Lacey traced her hands down Amanda's arms to the hem of her shirt. "I've seen that amazing brain of yours put new teachers to shame with their facts. Hell, I still remember when your mom bragged about how you bested the financial officer for the town when you were sixteen." Lacey placed a small kiss on Amanda's lips as she slowly lifted the shirt up and off, leaving Amanda in just her bra and pants.

"Lace," Amanda breathed, closing her eyes and tilting her head as her girlfriend began kissing her neck.

"I love you," Lacey breathed into her ear, sending shivers down Amanda's body and heat in her core. Amanda turned her head and captured Lacey's lips with hers, wrapping her arms around the brunette and pulling her closer. Amanda took Lacey's bottom lip between her teeth and gently bit down as she sucked, pulling a whimper from her girlfriend.

"Lace," Amanda said again, pulling herself away from the full and bruising lips. To avoid the chasing she pressed her mouth to the column of Lacey's throat and started planting kisses as she trailed her way up to the brunette's ear. "We shouldn't do this," Amanda whispered as she nipped the earlobe, but was pushed onto her back as the werewolf on top of her straddled her and pinned her arms down.

"Damnit, Amanda, can't you ever make up your mind?" Lacey asked as she stared into the blue orbs that were darkened with lust. "You can't just kiss me and hold me like that, only to turn around and say that we shouldn't do this." She watched as Amanda closed her eyes from the shame of her actions versus words. "Babe, if you don't feel ready, we don't have to do this now." Amanda's eyes snapped open and faster than they both could think Amanda had rolled them over so Lacey was the one pinned now.

"I want you Lace, I truly do," Amanda confessed, tracing her hand down the side of her girl below her. "I hate seeing you up on that stage, knowing all those other pigs are seeing you as well. Your body is perfect, especially your breasts." To accentuate her point Amanda's hand roamed back up and grabbed one perky breast, squeezing softly, causing Lacey's breath to hitch and arch into the touch. "God, you're so fucking beautiful." Amanda crashed her mouth onto Lacey's and kissed her fiercely. "That's why we shouldn't do this though." Before Lacey's mind could catch up, Amanda was up and pacing the room.

"Okay, I feel like I'm getting whiplash from everything right now," Lacey stated as she sat up in the bed, watching Amanda's back and forth movements. "What the hell is going through your mind?" Amanda released a sharp bark of a laugh as she ran her hand through her hair.

"I'm no good for you Lace," she spat. "I told you that once before."

"Then what in the hell are we doing right now?"

"I don't know." Amanda stopped pacing, crossing her arms over her chest and looked at Lacey, confusion and fear heavy in her eyes. "I don't know." Lacey slowly rose from the bed and approached Amanda cautiously. The blonde's actions were reminding her of the caged animals she saw at the zoo one time.

"Talk to me," she quietly said as she stopped in front of Amanda, resting her hands on tense biceps.

"I love you," Amanda uttered. "I love you and I don't want to hurt you, and I want to take the next step with you, but I'm scared."

"Why?" Lacey coaxed.

"I'm evil, Lace." Amanda closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. "I already have three kills on my belt. The darkness knows that too, that's why it's so damn hard to fight it."

"Hey, look at me." Lacey placed a finger on Amanda's chin and waited for her to open her eyes before speaking again. "For one, Mr. Gold wasn't your fault, okay? Stop blaming yourself for that. Second, Mr. Glass was hurting Alex. I know you didn't mean to kill him, but you were protecting your sister. Same is with Gale. You protected your family. Yes, the deaths were wrong, but that does not make you evil. I refuse to accept that." Amanda tried to blink away the tears but couldn't avoid the one that slipped. Lacey brushed it away with her thumb, flashing a little smile. "I have an idea, why don't we go for a run?"

"Okay," Amanda said, eager for the release that running gave her. Lacey handed her back her tee and they both took off from the apartment for the late night/early morning run. It wasn't until she was sure it was several miles later, and when they were rounding there run back to the mansion, that Amanda slowed to a walk next to Lacey. "I'm also scared of the battle later," she confessed. She glanced over to see Lacey watching her. "I will fight the darkness. I just don't want to die." Lacey smiled at her.

"I don't think anyone wants to die babe," she stated. She reached out and took Amanda's hand in her own. "I'll be there with you." Amanda smiled at the gesture as they approached the front door of the mansion. Before she could reach for the handle, Lacey pulled Amanda close to her and wrapped her arms around the blonde. "I love you, Amanda May Swan-Mills. I won't let you go without a fight, and I will help you fight the darkness as well." Amanda chuckled at the confession, wrapping her arms around her neck and pulling her in for a kiss.

"I wouldn't expect anything different from someone as crazy as you," she said before their lips locked together, their world blocking out the sound of the front door opening to Emma and Regina getting a front row seat to their youngest making out with her girlfriend.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 2: I feel like I was foreshadowing something maybe with this chapter, but not sure if I should take this ball and run with it... we will see. Can you imagine the look on Regina and Emma's faces opening the door to the last scene? I think it would be too funny. If anyone who can draw would like to do some artwork for this fic, it would be greatly appreciated, I would love to see what other artists think! Until next time folks!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A bit of slightly pointless fluff, just because my mind wouldn't let it go. Also attempted some humor. Not sure how that worked out though, will need you as reviewers to let me know. Oh, and for any haters, I take your insults as a badge of honor. This story has the SQ baseline since Emma and Regina are the parents, hence if you follow me on Tumblr I tag it with SQ. Have fun lovely readers!

"You owe me five bucks." Amanda opened her eyes, still lip-locked with Lacey, at the sound of Emma's voice. Slowly she turned her head, breaking the kiss, as she stared at her mothers, Regina now chuckling and shaking her head.

"I believe you owe me dear," she retorted to Emma. "After all I did say they would get back together."

"But I was the one who bet you it was them on the porch," Emma countered, holding out her hand to her wife. "Pay up, woman." Regina simply grabbed her wife's hand and placed a kiss to her palm.

"Hey moms," Amanda said, nervousness in her voice. She felt Lacey slip her arms around her waist and lean into her from behind as she rested her chin on Amanda's shoulder. "What are you doing out here?"

"Well when we went up to check on you we found Alex in your bed," Emma started explaining.

"She told us you went to your apartment," Regina continued. "Since we didn't hear you leave, we guessed you magicked out."

"We were worried when you weren't home by five so we used a locator spell, but it was saying you were here at the house."

"That's when we heard your footsteps on the porch."

"She was in safe hands Mrs. Mills and Mrs. Swan," Lacey piped up to Regina and Emma, calling them by the surnames she always used for Regina and Emma. Amanda scoffed lightly, smiling and ducking her head but not before she saw her mothers smirking at them.

"Be that as it may, you need to be more careful Amanda," Regina stated.

"I know," the young blonde uttered, and she felt Lacey tighten her grip a little on her.

"So what's the battle plan?" Lacey asked as she pulled herself off of Amanda, linking their hands and pulling her into the mansion past Emma and Regina.

"What do you mean battle plan?" Emma asked as she and Regina trailed them back inside.

"Lace," Amanda warned.

"What? I told you I'm gonna be there with you today. I'm not letting no psycho witch kill my girlfriend. Or my possible in-laws." Amanda stared at her, wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the last part of the comment.

"Amanda?" Regina asked, confusion in her voice. Amanda quickly stepped away, holding her hands in the air.

"Woah, woah, woah, there was no talk about _anything_ like that Lace, and you know that!" Amanda spun to face her bewildered parents. "I swear, I only told her about the dagger being taken and a few fears I have. There was no mention of marriage!"

Lacey simply burst out laughing, sitting down on a couch in the living room. "Oh my god, you guys should see your faces!"

"Lacey Lucas, this is not something to be laughing about right now," Emma scolded finally snapping out of her shock. "You should go home, we have a family issue to deal with." Lacey simply shook her head and leaned back, still laughing.

"Sorry, but I'm not going anywhere. I love your daughter, and I don't want to sit on the sidelines while she gets hurt."

"We don't have time to argue this Emma," Regina chided. "Besides, we have other things to worry about. Like talking to your mother." Emma sighed and threw up her hands.

"Fine, let's go call her." Emma allowed Regina to pull her into the kitchen as Amanda moved to sit down on the table in front of Lacey.

"Are you fucking insane?" Amanda asked. "There is no way in hell I'm letting you stay for this, this is not your fight."

"Did you miss the point that I said I love you?" Lacey questioned back.

"No. I love you too." Amanda flashed her a small smile. "You really think we'd get married in the future?"

"Look who's the romantic now," Lacey teased. "I think anything could be possible for us. Just, don't push me away, okay? I need to know you will be safe."

"I'm the Dark One, Lace. I can do this." Amanda leaned forward and kissed her. "You gave me that boost of confidence. Thank you." She patted Lacey's knee and stood up. "If you are really going to do this, get some rest. Lord knows I can't." Lacey watched as her girlfriend walked out of the room and smiled to herself.


	25. Chapter 25

In the kitchen Emma had just gotten off of the phone when Amanda walked in. "Okay, Mary Margaret said she'll be over in thirty," Emma said, setting her phone down. Regina was moving things around in the refrigerator, placing a few things like eggs, bacon, and other ingredients on the counter.

"Is Grandpa coming with her?" Amanda asked, grabbing an apple out of the fruit bowl and sitting down at the island.

"Most likely," Emma answered, grabbing the apple from Amanda's hand and placing it back in the bowl before she could take a bite.

"Then you two can help me get breakfast made," Regina said, placing a bowl and the carton of eggs in front of Amanda, the bacon, an onion, a cutting board and a knife in front of Emma. "You, crack. You, cut, and try not to slice your finger off dear." Emma stuck her tongue out at Regina as the brunette turned to the stove to prep the pan. Amanda chuckled at her mothers as she cracked the eggs into the bowl. If it wasn't for the few grey hairs each sported or a few well-hidden wrinkles (heaven forbid if Regina would admit to them) Amanda would swear her parents were still fresh out of their teen years with their relationship.

Once the eggs were cracked and mixed, onions and bacon added to the pan, and eggs were frying, Emma sat down next to her daughter as Regina continued to cook. "So, what's the deal with you and Lacey?" Emma asked.

"What's there to say?" Amanda shrugged. "We're dating again."

"Uh huh. And what about that comment she made?" Amanda simply started picking at her fingernails. "Yeah, I caught that."

"It's nothing, Ma, really. Lacey's just… she's looking too much into the future right now." Amanda sighed, still picking at her fingernails. "It's not that I don't want to have something solid with her, I do. Hell, I want something like you two have," she gestured between Emma and Regina, "I just…"

"You're scared," Regina said, turning off the burner and turning around to face her wife and daughter, wiping her hands on a towel.

"I don't want to put her in danger or screw up."

"Kid, do you know how many times I screwed up with Mom?" Emma smirked.

"Too many to count," Regina rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Exactly. Hell, we tried to kill each other when we first met. But look at where we are now. Love is a funny, funny thing. But if you have it, you can overcome anything."

"Well look at who inherited the hopeful gene," Mary Margaret stated as she entered the kitchen, David in tow.

"Hey Mom, Dad," Emma greeted, getting up and giving them a hug. Regina gave them a smile and a nod. Amanda was smiling but her thoughts were going a mile a minute as she looked at her grandmother.

"Hey, sweetie," Mary Margaret said as she saw Amanda and went to hug her.

"Hey Grams," Amanda said, pulling herself from her thoughts for a moment. When she pulled away and everyone was talking about things, Amanda was busy lost in her own mind again, watching her grandmother and bobbing her head every once in a while. Finally she interjected the conversation when her thoughts got to be too much. "Grams, do we have any other family?" All eyes were now on Amanda, Snow's crinkled in confusion.

"Why do you ask that?"

"She looked a bit like you." It was brief, but Amanda saw a flash of terror in her grandmother's eyes.

"Not that I know of," Snow slowly replied.

"Ask her about Rose Red," the Dark One in Amanda's mind told her, and she relayed the question. Regina turned thoughtful as Mary Margaret shook her head.

"How do you know that name?" she asked, David looking expectantly to Amanda as well.

"Doesn't matter," Amada responded, her expression changing from curiosity to determination. "What is the importance of that name?"

"It's just a legend," Mary Margaret stated, shaking her head.

"Maybe not," Regina stated, bringing attention to herself. "If I remember right, Mother used to talk of someone in your family by that name, Snow. I was just a small child, but I believe that the king had a sister-in-law that had a daughter by that name. She disappeared around…" Regina shook her head in disbelief, looking at Mary Margaret. "No."

"What?" Emma asked, curious as to where her wife's mind was thinking. "Regina?" Without answering her, Regina quickly walked out of the room and to her study.

"I don't think the maid's stories were just stories anymore," Snow stated, sitting down on one of the stools. David moved behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders as Emma turned to face her.

"What stories?"

"A few of the older maids used to tell of a princess, a few years older than I was, who was once said to be heir to a kingdom," Snow began telling. "But once her aunt, the king's wife, was found to be pregnant, the princess became extremely jealous and wished the baby to die before being born." Snow shook her head and smiled sadly. "Story went on that the queen banished her niece from the kingdom and she was never seen again. I always thought it was just a story they would tell to get a child to behave."

"I remember King George's men talk about a tale similar to that as well," David stated.

"They're not wrong," Regina said, coming back into the kitchen with a book. "Right here, Mother wrote about a young heir to the White kingdom going missing, and a few short months later you were born Snow." Everyone but Amanda and Regina crowded around the book, reading the passage.

"So the question is, who is she really?" Emma stated.

"Our family is all sorts of fucked up," Amanda muttered, but Regina heard and slapped her arm. The two shared a glare for the language and the slap.

"You got that right, kid," Emma agreed, earning her an unseen eyeroll from Regina. "Just wish this said how she disappeared."

"Oh, I know," Rumple's voice rang out to Amanda and she looked at the corner of the kitchen at him. He stood there, a smirk on his face and arms hanging crossed in front of him. He heard her ask 'how?' in her mind and chuckled. "The mirror to Wonderland, of course. Why don't you ask your mother about that one."

"Mom, what is the mirror to Wonderland?" Amanda asked, turning her attention back to Regina. Her face paled at the thought.

"It's simply that, a portal to the land called Wonderland," she simply stated, moving to distract herself with a few dishes.

"That's how she disappeared," Amanda simply stated, and as all attention was turned to her the dish Regina had been holding crashed and broke on the floor. "Look, I can't explain how I know-"

"Can't or won't," Emma muttered.

"-but somehow she was pushed through that portal, thought to never return again."

"But she did," Regina said, fear lacing her voice. "I think I know how too."

"No," Snow breathed. "No, she couldn't have, she's dead."

Regina bent down and started picking up the plate pieces. "She must have done it before she died, while she was still in the Enchanted Forrest." Emma's confused look changed to one of clarity.

"Cora?" Regina paused her movements for a moment before nodding.

"Wait, if this Rose Red was brought to the Enchanted Forrest by Cora before she died, then she must have came to Storybrooke when the second curse was cast," Amanda stated, trying to string everything that was being said together. When she finally focused on the older adults she became worried at their grave expressions. "What?"

"It's not so much as how she got to Storybrooke Amanda," Snow said. "If she had any connection to Cora-"

"We could all be in danger," Regina finished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Now we know who the big bad is... uh oh, what are the Swan-Mills and Charming family in for now? :)


	26. Chapter 26

_"Wait, if this Rose Red was brought to the Enchanted Forrest by Cora before she died, then she must have came to Storybrooke when the second curse was cast," Amanda stated, trying to string everything that was being said together. When she finally focused on the older adults she became worried at their grave expressions. "What?"_

_"It's not so much as how she got to Storybrooke Amanda," Snow said. "If she had any connection to Cora-"_

_"We could all be in danger," Regina finished._

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

“Oooh, the dreaded Cora Mills,” Rumple taunted Amanda as everyone started rambling about what this Rose Red person could possibly know or do. “She was a decent student of mine. Not as good as you mother, mind you, but still jaded enough for my work.” The imp giggled next to her. Amanda watched her parents and grandparents combing over a few extra books that Regina brought into the kitchen from the study.

 

“What do you mean jaded?” Amanda muttered under her breath, determined to get as much information from the darkness that coincided in her mind.

  
“Cora was infatuated with me, dearie. She would do anything I asked. Even promised me her, well, at the time, only daughter for my work.”

 

“My Mom is not your property,” Amanda muttered darkly, her eyes narrowing at her words. “And if you try to get me to treat her as such-”

“She already fulfilled her usefulness for me dearie. I could personally care less about her.” Amanda released a quiet growl at how the darkness in her disregarded those that she loved in her life. “With her mother being the former Queen of Hearts though, she may or may not know how Rose will work.”

 

While Amanda was having the chat with the Rumple in her head Regina was not only busy pouring over the books with the family but also watching her daughter subtly. She saw how Amanda went from a bored expression to angered while looking directly at her, lips barely moving as if she was talking to someone invisible next to her, to the slight head turn and eye shift to the space next to her. “Emma, can you help me grab a few more books from the study?” Regina asked her wife as she stood up. Emma tore herself away from the book she was looking at and followed Regina into the study, where the brunette closed the doors and turned to her wife.

 

“What’s up?” Emma asked and Regina leaned into her chest, allowing Emma to wrap her arms around her wife. “Okay, you’re scaring me.”

 

After a brief moment in taking comfort in Emma’s embrace she pulled back and squared her shoulders. “I’m just worried about Amanda,” Regina said, moving to grab two more books off her extensive shelves. “Did you happen to notice her glare at me?”

 

“What?”

 

“I don’t know what is going on in her mind, but it almost seemed like she was angry at me or something.”

 

“Gina, she loves you, she loves both of us. I’m sure it was just the darkness in her head that was telling her something she didn’t like.” Regina stopped her reach for a third book, still facing the bookshelf when she felt Emma’s hands on her shoulders before the blonde’s lips pressed against her neck. “We will find a way to beat this woman.”

 

Back in the kitchen it took Amanda a moment to realize her mothers had disappeared. Through her conversation with Rumple, she figured that this Rose person was going to try to use the dagger on her as she tries to protect Regina. She needed to find if there was a way to avoid being controlled like that. “Where did my moms go?” she asked Snow and David.

 

“I think Regina asked Emma for help getting some more books,” Snow said as she looked at her harried granddaughter. Amanda gave a nod walked off, leaving her grandparents in the kitchen.

 

As she passed the living room, Amanda couldn’t help but to stop and gaze in at Lacey napping already on the couch. She leaned against the door frame and smiled to herself, thinking of just two years earlier when the brunette had asked her out to prom.

 

**I’m back on TNS track! Writing for SQW was fun, and if you read any of it and liked it, please let me know. I know this chapter is a little short, but the next is a flashback for Amanda and Lacey. Feel free to comment any speculations you may have as to where this story is leading to!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to cricketteer, happy birthday! I hope the chapter is to your liking!

_The bell from the door to the shop opening rang, alerting Amanda just a moment before Lacey's voice rang out. "Amanda! Guess what, guess what, guess what?!" she excitedly said._

_"Your mom got you a car?" Amanda asked as she smirked, barely casting her friend a glance while she continued to work on her accounting books._

_"What? No, though that would have been totally awesome as well," Lacey trailed off before slapping her palms on the case in between them. "Mom paid for the tickets!" Amanda's brow furrowed as she raised her gaze to the bubbly brunette._

_"What tickets?" Amanda asked, confused as to what her best friend was talking about._

_"Oh come on," Lacey exasperated. "Don't you remember our pact?"_

_"Lace, I've had a lot on my plate lately," Amanda waved her pen around in the air, motioning to the shop. "You're gonna have to be more specific."_

_"I can't believe you don't remember our sixth grade pact," Lacey pouted. Amanda looked off to the side as she tried to remember exactly what they had promised each other. "The one that if we didn't have a date to junior prom that we'd go with each other?" Lacey reminded._

_Amanda sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "What's wrong with Billy or Gregg or whats-his-name that is your current arm candy this week?"_

_"It was Joe, okay? And we broke up," Lacey casually said._

_"Uh huh, sure." Amanda gave her a pointed look that Lacey knew she didn't believe her. "Lacey, we are not dating, remember the whole break-up we had?" Amanda closed her books and turned around to put it away on the back counter._

_"Who cares if we are dating or not. You are my best friend and I want to go with you."_

_"No."_

_"But Mandy-"_

_"I said no." Amanda was more forceful with her words as she turned around to face Lacey. "My moms had enough fun torturing me and Alex when we went to prom with those stupid dresses, I am not going through that again, not even for you."_

_"You did look really cute in that blue dress," Lacey giggled, causing Amanda to roll her eyes._

_"And it was promptly burned as soon as I got home. So no."_

_"Oh come on!" Lacey trailed after Amanda as the blonde grabbed a duster and walked around the shop. "You had pinky-promised me!"_

_"No is no Lace. End of discussion." Lacey moved in front of Amanda and crossed her arms._

_"I thought the Dark One never broke deals?" she taunted._

_"We had been kids!" Amanda exclaimed. "That does not count!" Amanda spun on her heel and walked the other way._

_"Fine." Lacey pulled an envelope out of her pocket and put it on the counter. "If you change your mind though…" She patted the envelope even though Amanda's back was turned to her. "Guess I'll see you later then." Amanda sighed as she heard the door open and close, thinking she was alone in the shop._

_"Why did Lacey look so sad leaving here?" Henry's voice rang through the shop. Amanda spun and faced her big brother looking at her with concern._

_"It's nothing," Amanda said, continuing to dust. "I just told her I wasn't going to her prom with her."_

_"Why not?" he asked._

_"Because I was tortured enough during my own prom, thank you very much."_

_"Hey, you looked good in that dress Mom got you. You could wear that," Henry suggested._

_"Only if you can bring it back from ashes," Amanda stated cockily._

_"What?" Henry gasped. "Oh no, does mom know you burned it?"_

_"Don't know, don't care," Amanda snipped._

_"You should," he stated, coming up to her side and grabbing her wrist from dusting more. "Amanda, she had Grandma work on that for you." Amanda felt the guilt dip in her stomach. "When they went back to the Enchanted Forrest, Ma had found it amongst the things at Mom's castle, brought it back, and had Grandma tailor it for your prom."_

_"So it was one of Mom's old dresses from when she was Queen," Amanda stated as she stepped back. Henry gave her a small smile and a nod. "Great. Like I don't have enough screwing up done in this family."_

_"Is the reason you don't want to go to prom with Lacey because of the dress?" he asked._

_"No. I just don't like dances."_

_"Why not?" he prodded. Amanda turned and went into her office and Henry followed her._

_"Because Alex was always the one with a date," Amanda said. "I just either sat at a table or along the wall."_

_"Wasn't Billy Mason your date for homecoming?" Henry tried to remember, taking a seat on the couch as Amanda sat at her desk. She shrugged._

_"I guess, I don't remember."_

_"Yeah, he was," Henry chortled. "I remember because you had that pretty flower blouse Grace and I got you."_

_"Well the music was too loud," Amanda lamented, pulling papers in front of herself. "And there were too many people."_

_Henry had a shit-eating grin on his face. "You don't know how to dance, do you?"_

_"I know how to dance," Amanda grumbled._

_"Then show me." Henry stood up and extended his hand to her. "Dance with me."_

_Amanda looked from his hand to his face and back to her papers. "I have better things to do."_

_"Come on, don't be chicken." Amanda glared up at him._

_"I am not a chicken. I am just busy."_

_"More like scared. You. Don't. Know. How. To. Dance." He accentuated every word, knowing it would goad his baby sister._

_"Okay, fine," she slapped her hand down and looked up at him with a desperately sad look. "You have me Hen. I don't know how to dance. At all. Not hip hop, not a line dance, not even a waltz. You happy?"_

_"I can teach you," he proudly stated, and Amanda raised an eyebrow at him._

_"You? You think you can teach me to dance." Amanda let out a bark. "What, did Ma teach you?"_

_"No, Gramps did." This caught Amanda's attention and she bit her lip. "He taught me so I could have a decent first dance with Grace." He looked down at his sister and saw the wheels turning._

_"If I let you teach me," she slowly said, "Mom and Ma can't find out. Especially if I decide to go with Lacey."_

_"I can't promise that second part, Grams does chaperone these school things." Amanda closed her eyes, remembering that Snow was also the superintendent of the Storybrooke schools._

_"It doesn't matter," Amanda turned back to her papers. "I'd have nothing to wear anyways."_

_"I think you'd look sharp in a tux." She paused her movements to look up at Henry again._

_"Really?" she shyly asked, and Henry knew he had her._

_"Yeah, I can take you to Portland tomorrow when I make a run and we can get one for you. My treat, as long as you let me teach you to dance." Amanda seemed to stop breathing for a moment as she contemplated it all. "When is the dance?"_

_"Lacey left an envelope up front." Henry moved to retrieve the said envelope, pulling out the singular ticket and reading the information as he went back into the office. When he walked back Amanda was still in the same position. "How much time would we have?"_

_"Dance is next Saturday," Henry said, slipping the ticket back in the envelope. "So about a week and a half."_

_"Okay, fine," Amanda relented. "You win, Henry. Teach me to dance." Henry barked out a laugh as he wrapped her in a bear hug. "Remember, the moms cannot find out, not before prom anyways."_

_"Deal. I won't say anything," Henry confirmed, crossing his heart. "I have to get going home now though. I'll see you tomorrow morning at eight?"_

_"I'll be here," she lamented. He gave her a kiss on the head and left the shop, heading straight for the diner. If he was going to be getting Amanda in a tux, he needed to know what color Lacey's dress was going to be._

_Before the door completely closed to the establishment he found himself being pulled by the ear by none other than Ruby. "How dare she?" Ruby scolded as she dragged him through the kitchen._

_"Ow, ow, ow, Rubes, ow, let go, ow!" Henry protested as she continued to bring him into her office. "Geeze," he complained as he rubbed his now-freed ear. "What was that for?"_

_"Your sister making my daughter cry, that's what." Ruby was fuming. When it came to Lacey, everyone in town knew to steer clear of pissing the mama wolf off. "Where does she get off breaking a childhood promise like that?"_

_"You mean the prom thing?" Henry asked. Both families knew about the pact that the girls had made about their junior prom, but Henry just assumed that since his sister had skipped two grades that the girls had forgotten about it. Apparently Lacey hadn't, and now it made even more sense why Amanda was upset about the prom._

_"Yes, the prom thing. Lacey had picked out a lovely dress that was supposed to go with that one Regina gave Amanda for her prom, but apparently your sister has a destructive streak and decided to burn it!"_

_"Yeah, I already had that discussion with her," Henry commented. "Speaking of dresses though, what color does Lacey have for her dress?"_

_"What does it matter?" Ruby asked, throwing her hands up in the air. "Poor girl doesn't want to go alone to the damn dance."_

_"Okay, you're gonna have to convince her to show up there," Henry said, pinching the bridge of his nose and earning a curious stare from Ruby. "I need to know the color because Amanda will be there, I'm getting her a tuxedo tomorrow and I know how you girls like to color-coordinate."_

_"'Us girls', huh?" Ruby laughed. "Wait, did you say you got Amanda to go to prom with Lacey?"_

_"Yeah," Henry chuckled. "I can't tell you how, but I'm telling you to make sure you can get Lacey there. I'll get Amanda there as well." He dropped his hand and saw Ruby smiling at him._

_"Henry Mills, if you get your sister to this prom, you will have free hot chocolates for life here." Ruby gave him a picture of the dress, a nice red satin texture._

_"Thanks Ruby. Oh, and no mentioning this to my moms," Henry stated. "Amanda doesn't want them to know for some reason."_

_Ruby smirked. "Good luck with that, Snow chaperones these events."_

_"That's what I said! But you know how my sister is." Ruby chuckled and nodded. "Okay, Operation Prom is a go." Henry gave her a hug and left to go home to his family, scheming the entire night._

_**Xxxxxxxx** _

_The next day Henry and Amanda were at the Portland mall after Henry dropped off his latest manuscript with his publisher. Amanda had a black suit coat over a white button down. "I feel ridiculous," she uttered to him as the tailor tugged a little bit on the back._

_"This is part of the deal though. I teach you to dance, you go to prom in a tuxedo." Amanda sighed, stripping the overcoat off and handing it to the tailor. "Here." She spun and saw him handing her a suit that was a deep red, nearly maroon, with a satin white trim on the edges. "Try this on." Amanda hesitantly grabbed it and went into the changing room. When she came out Henry let out a whistle. There was a vest that was only a shade or two lighter than the pants and jacket, hugging her lean frame and accentuating her breasts a bit as her chest was built a bit more like Regina's. Amanda let the jacket portion hang open for the moment as she twirled to show it off to Henry._

_"So?" she asked as he gawked at his baby sister._

_"You look… sharp," Henry stated and the tailor helping them nodded in agreement. Amanda played with the top button of the undershirt and unbuttoned it. "Lacey is going to have a hard time taking her eyes off of you." Amanda blushed as she turned to look at herself in the mirror, flipping her pony tail of hair a bit. When it came to hairstyles she was very basic, much like Emma was, but also liked to be a little classy at times like Regina. With a suit like this, she knew she would have to go with classy. A glance in the mirror had her seeing Henry handing his credit card to the tailor, who promptly took off to take care of the purchase. "Now we have you outfitted, what do you say we head back home so we can get started on dance lessons?"_

_Amanda rolled her eyes. "I think you are way too eager to see me fall on my ass," Amanda said as she went back into the dressing room to change back into her original clothes of jeans and a t-shirt._

_**Xxxxxxxxxx** _

_"One and two and OW!" Henry exclaimed for the tenth time in the past hour._

_"I give up!" Amanda exclaimed, releasing Henry's hands and walking away from her brother. "I can't dance, plain and simple!"_

_"You can dance," Henry said, "You just need to learn the steps before you try to rush it."_

_"This is pointless." Amanda sat down on the stool behind the counter. "I should have never let you talk me into this."_

_"Hey, none of this negativity, alright?" Henry leaned against the counter next to Amanda. "You are doing this for Lacey."_

_"Whom, I might remind you, is simply my friend and nothing else."_

_"Yeah, I keep hearing you two aren't together anymore, but never really got the why part." Henry looked pointedly at her._

_"Because I'm not good for her to be dating."_

_"Yet you are still good enough to be her friend. Right." Amanda rolled her eyes at Henry's deadpanned comment._

_"Well when you nearly kill someone because you lose your anger at how they treat your friend, then come yell at me."_

_"You wouldn't have lost your anger if you didn't care."_

_"Of course I cared. She was my friend."_

_"If memory serves right, she was your girlfriend at the time."_

_"Technicality," Amanda grumbled, looking at the floor._

_"You love her?" Henry asked and Amanda released a scoff. "I'm serious here. Do you love her?" Amanda gave him a glance and a barely noticeable nod, and Henry smiled. "Then why in the world aren't you with her?"_

_"In case you missed the memo, Hen, I'm the Dark One now. I'm just trying to protect her."_

_"Mandy, being the Dark One doesn't mean you can't love," Henry gently said. "Look at Gold and Belle, they were in love, despite his greed for power." A look of guilt passed through Amanda's features. "You are not him though, you don't possess that greed. That's part of what makes you different. You love with your whole heart, always have." Henry straightened and moved to stand next to Amanda, wrapping an arm around her. "I know if you didn't care you wouldn't be trying so hard. So what'dya say?"_

_"Fine," she conceded, allowing her big brother to take her back into the middle of the shop to teach her to dance again._

_**Xxxxxxx** _

_The day of the prom arrived, and Amanda was definitely a nervous wreck. Henry had convinced her to come over to his place so Grace could do her hair, which looking in the mirror she thought the braided bun look suited her. She even lamented and let Grace put minimal makeup on her. When Amanda finally came down the stairs, Henry was shocked at how sharp his baby sister looked; the shiny Oxfords rounding out the whole ensemble. He just stood staring at her for a full moment before she started fidgeting._

_"Hey, none of that now," he scolded, giving her a smile._

_"I feel ridiculous," she stated._

_"You look handsome," Grace stated with a smile. "I'm not sure which I like more, seeing you in a dress or like this."_

_Amanda gave her a smile. "Thanks."_

_"Come on, we're gonna be late," Henry ushered her out, giving his wife a kiss before leaving. "So I will be chaperoning as well, so I'll try to get you some good songs," Henry stated as he drove them to the high school._

_"Please don't let it be anything corny," Amanda groaned. Henry chuckled._

_"Ever heard of Yazoo?" he asked. Amanda's brow furrowed as she tried to think. Henry pulled out his phone and pulled the song Only You up. "Ma said that this was the song that my dad used to woo her." Amanda glanced over at her brother and saw a slight sadness adorn his features, thinking of his father. She knew of the story and knew that he barely got to know his dad before he died because of Zelena. So anything that related to him always brought a little sadness to him. As she listened to the song, she had to admit it had an awesome beat, especially when she listened to the lyrics. "Think this would work?"_

_"It's perfect," she softly said. "I can see why Ma was won over by the song." Henry gave a chuckle as he pulled into the parking lot. Henry handed her a box and pinned a red-tipped yellow rose to the lapel of the tux._

_"Give me ten minutes to get the song on and go get your girl," He said, hugging her carefully so as not to smash the rose and disappeared into the gym._

_Amanda took a deep breath and entered the gym, nerves gathering in her stomach as she made her way along the wall while scanning the crowd. She saw Lacey standing next to Snow, looking a little down. Looking into the box, Amanda saw the corsage of the same rose she wore. She pulled it out and tossed the box, slowly making her way towards her grandmother and friend. Amanda saw Henry up near the DJ booth, giving her a thumbs up as the first chords of the song started._

_"My lady," Amanda greeted, gathering the attention of Lacey and Snow, both gasping at Amanda's appearance. "This is for you," she said, slipping the wristlet on Lacey, then bowing as she took her hand. "May I have this dance?" The bright smile on Lacey's face lightened Amanda's heart in spades. The girl couldn't even speak, only nodded as Amanda lead her onto the floor and started the waltz with her. Both girls couldn't stop grinning._

_"Where did you learn to dance like this?" Lacey asked as Amanda twirled them around._

_"Henry taught me," she confessed, pulling Lacey closer to her a bit. "Are you surprised?"_

_"A bit," she said, then laughed at the eyebrow lift she got from Amanda. "Okay, a lot. I didn't think you were going to come."_

_"And break the promise I made to my best friend? Never." The song drew to a close, but Eyes Open by Taylor Swift followed it. Amanda drew back a bit from Lacey as they did more ballroom dancing techniques. "I may be the Dark One now, but that doesn't change that I'd do almost anything for you Lace."_

_Lacey stepped into Amanda's arms and let her hand trail up Amanda's arm until their hands connected. "Then be my girlfriend again." Amanda tensed a little at that but kept them still twirling on the floor. "What are you so afraid of?"_

_"I don't want to hurt you," Amanda whispered, willing the tears to stay away. "Please, don't force it. Let's just have this one fun night together. I miss doing the fun things with you."_

_"I wasn't the one to graduate early," Lacey joked but Amanda could sense the sadness in her voice and demeanor._

_"Lace," Amanda breathed as she leaned in, pulling their hands between their bodies._ I love you _was on the tip of her tongue but Amanda refused to say it, choosing instead to kiss Lacey's temple. "Did I mention that you look beautiful tonight?" Lacey giggled at the compliment._

_"You look pretty good yourself, Mills." She moved her hand along the collar of the tux, tracing the satiny white trim. "You should wear it more often." Amanda closed her eyes, relishing the compliments and the overall closeness she was having with Lacey, something she missed dearly from when they were dating. When the song ended it changed to a hip-hop beat, convincing Amanda to lead Lacey off the floor back to where her grandmother was now brimming with tears and snapping photos with her phone._


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: next chapter my lovelies. This may be the last chapter I have for a while, I have to focus on school and such for the semester. One class is English Comp, and if I am forced to write like this class promises then I will not be so eager to write for fun for a while. I am still going to be working on it though, just at a slower pace. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and don't persecute me too much. Reviews are very much appreciated.

"Do you think she'll be mad if she wakes up and sees you staring at her like that?" Emma asked as she and Regina left the study, each carrying a book.

"No," Amanda answered, turning towards her mothers. "She's used to it, I think."

"You watch her sleep often then?" Regina asked with a smirk. Amanda shrugged.

"She likes to crash at my place a lot." Amanda pointed at the books. "Find anything useful?"

"Possibly," Regina said, continuing on towards the kitchen, a silent request for Amanda to follow her and Emma. "My mother kept a journal when she was in Wonderland," Regina explained as she set the book down in front of Snow and David. "Apparently this Rose had been there for some time when she arrived. She was magically inclined but could apparently only do basic spells and magic. Mother, in exchange for helping her adjust to the new world and become the Queen of Hearts, taught her how to wield the magic much better."

"So ultimately Rose was Cora's protégé?" Snow asked, furrowing her brow with worry.

"Protégé and advisor in Wonderland," Emma confirmed.

"Because of the rules of Wonderland however, when my mother first got out Rose was left behind," Regina continued to explain from what she read. "That's as far as we know."

"Isn't Jefferson the expert on Wonderland?" Amanda asked. "Maybe he would know how she got out."

"I highly doubt he would help us," Regina stated, a guilty look crossed her face as she glanced at Emma and David.

"There's some, how to say it," Emma started, a similar look of guilt on her face as she searched for the words.

"Bad blood between us," David finished, looking down at his hands. Amanda cocked an eyebrow at the three.

"What did you three do to piss him off that bad?" she asked, but was afraid of the answer. David looked a bit horrified as he looked at Regina and Emma. Snow shared a similar look of Amanda's of the curiosity of what was going on.

"It wasn't us, exactly," Emma stated sheepishly. "Not completely, anyways."

"Isn't he part of the family though?" Amanda asked. "I mean, Henry did marry Grace."

"Yeah, and that is partly why he doesn't much care for us," David said, and Snow gave him a cross look.

"Okay, spill," Snow demanded. All three, however, clammed up. "One of you needs to explain, now."

"It's not our tale to be telling dear," Regina stated, casting her eyes downward and Amanda detected a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Does it have anything to do with Tiffany being their 'miracle' baby?" Amanda asked. Emma's eyes shown a hint of sadness before she dropped her eyes as well. "I see."

"Well I don't," Snow prodded on. David simply held her hand.

"Snow, don't," he softly said, running his thumb over her skin.

"Grandma, Tiffany wasn't the first," Henry's voice sounded from the doorway, making everyone turn to face him. No one had heard him even enter the house, but apparently he had heard enough. The slight shine in his eyes from held back tears was proof enough. "Grace miscarried the first when there was a magical mishap with Ma. Jefferson never forgave them her or mom since." Shock crossed Snow's face as she held her hand to her mouth. "I'm not hear about that though," Henry dove forward. "You said you needed my fairytale expertise?"

"Who did?" Regina asked, her head popping back up and looking at Snow and David.

"I texted him to come over," Emma said, reaching for and grasping Regina's hand. Over the course of the next hour they combed through all information they could about Rose Red, but aside from knowing that she was powerful from what Cora's journal read, they were still in the dark about her. Lacey had woken up and Emma and Regina pushed Amanda to just be with her and spend time with her before the battle. By ten a.m. David, Snow and Henry left the house, leaving just Amanda, Lacey, Emma and Regina alone.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: oh boy, I'm not sure how to feel about this chapter... my mind wouldn't leave me alone until it was written though...

They had gathered at the town square five minutes to twelve. Emma was holding Regina's hand and Lacey was holding Amanda's. Snow, David, Neal, Alex, and even Henry were walking towards them. Emma was surprised to see them coming because she had sent David and Neal to make sure the townfolk stayed away from the square. After combing through the books earlier that morning, the only thing they all could come up with was that Amanda and Regina would have to face Rose, and they prayed that Amanda could fight the pull of the dagger.

"You shouldn't be here," Regina said firmly as she looked at Henry and Alex. "None of you should." She turned to Emma and kissed her hand. "Go with them," Regina softly told her, but Emma shook her head.

"We're stronger together Regina," Emma argued. "You and me." Regina wanted to argue, but history was a tough fact to dispute. Amanda, however, hugged Lacey, nuzzling into her neck and inhaling her scent before holding her at arm's length.

"Go get my family to safety," Amanda pleaded. If it was anyone else who was staring into the steely gaze they would have cowered, but Lacey just lunged forward and kissed Amanda hard. When she pulled back she placed her hands on Amanda's cheeks and nodded, knowing that she was entrusted with the one thing the Dark One cherished most.

"We're not leaving you," Snow argued when Lacey approached. "We are a family. No one threatens a part of the family without facing us all."

"How touching," Rose's voice carried over the group as everyone turned to face her. "You know, that's almost the same tone your mother used when she pushed me through the looking glass." Everyone looked at her in shock and confusion. "That's right, Snow, your mother wasn't always a goodie two-shoes."

"My mother was the kindest soul I knew," Snow growled out. Rose sneered at her.

"Please, your mother was a selfish twit who cared only about herself," she said in an almost bored tone. "If you wouldn't have killed Cora she could have confirmed that to you." A look of shock passed over everyone.

"How did you-?"

"Know?" she cut Regina off. "There are other magics out there besides elemental darling. Isn't that right, Dark One?" Amanda gave a quick nod to the question, going back to glaring at the witch. "Some of us like to, mmmm, relish in it." The woman seemed to enjoy the taunt, but Amanda caught a little wave of her fingers as she was overcome with a sense of foreboding.

"Keep your guard up, dearie," Rumple's voice rang in her ears, sounding like a warning. "Even I don't trust the magic she is dabbling in." Amanda sensed the shadow before she saw it and projected her magic out around her family. As soon as the shadow hit the magic there was a high-pitched sound like a scream that accompanied a black flash of smoke. She glared at Rose as the woman started clucking her tongue.

"Tisk tisk, Dark One," she said, suddenly waggling the dagger in front of her, and a hint of alarm flashed through Amanda as she stepped protectively in front of her mothers. "You know you can't protect them all forever."

"This should be between you and me Rose," Amanda said. "Not them."

"Normally that would be the case since you did kill my son," Rose said, her eyes shifting towards Snow. "But this goes back farther than you can even think. I should have expected the entire White family to show up today." Amanda shifted her head so she could see her family behind her in the corner of her eye. "This is really all your fault, Snow. If you would have never been born, everyone could have lived peacefully."

"What do you mean Rose?" Snow prompted. "Please, tell how you attacking innocent people is my fault."

The sickly sweet smile Rose had been tauntingly sporting turned into a sneer and Amanda felt more shadows creeping closer to her magical shield. "I was supposed to be next in line for the crown, but your mother just had to become pregnant. You should never have been born Snow. That crown was supposed to be mine!" The snarl on her face quickly morphed back into the sick smile as she calmed her voice. "Aunt Eva decided to rid herself of me, however, shoving me through the looking glass portal to Wonderland, where I spent the next seven years developing my own abilities until I met the wonderful and lovely Cora. You see, she was looking for any way possible to rid the kingdom of Eva."

"My mother had been to Wonderland before?" Regina wondered out loud with a gasp. Amanda continued her vigil, watching the witch and pouring more power into the barrier she created while absorbing all of the information being told.

"Of course, who do you think supplied her with the poison for the Queen?" A collective gasp came from both Regina and Snow. "She only wanted the best for you Regina. You were all she ever talked about. And then you had to shove her through the glass as well, breaking the portal." Rose chuckled darkly. "You hurt my friend, Regina. For that, you must also pay. So just imagine my delight when I found out that your two families had unified! Finally, I can rid you all at once." Everyone looked up as the darkness of the shadows surrounded them, encircling thickly around Amanda's barrier. She poured more of her magic into making it hold. "Dark One, I command you to stand down."

Amanda felt the shield weakening under the command but she fought it. She gritted her teeth through the physical pain she was suddenly feeling from fighting the pull of the dagger. "No," she ground out as the first few shadows touched the barrier. Regina finally saw what her daughter was doing and poured her power into the barrier as well.

"I don't think you understand the order, _Dark One_. I said. Stand. Down." Amanda glared at the dagger being wielded and felt herself complying to the order even though she didn't want to. As soon as her magic dropped from the barrier the shadows tried to attack again but screamed as they hit Regina's power. "You really shouldn't do that Regina," Rose warned. "Be a good girl and submit."

"I don't take orders," Regina growled. "I am a queen, I _give them._ "

"Dark One, kill her," Amanda's eyes widened at the command, feeling herself turn towards her mother as they looked at each other in fear. Amanda fought the pull of the magic commanding the death of Regina. The magic crackled through her body.

"No!" Emma yelled, seeing her daughter conflicting with herself and stepped between them to shield Regina with her body. "Amanda, fight it."

"I'm trying," Amanda said through tightly clenched teeth, her entire body tense from self-restraint.

"Do as you are told, Dark One, now!" Rose barked, brandishing the dagger wildly in front of her. Amanda closed her eyes, blocking the fearful looks of her family from her mind as she focused on reigning her magic in.

"No." Her voice was strong and clear in her ears and she wasn't sure if she had imagined saying it or not until Rose scoffed.

"No? _No?_ I have the dagger, Dark One, I _control you._ "

"And I said no." Amanda spun around and directed her magic back into the barrier, forcing it outward towards the shadows. Everyone but herself covered their ears at the ungodly screeching noises that they made. As the ringing from the screeches died down Amanda walked over to where Rose was doubled over, the dagger laying by her feet where she dropped it. Amanda bent down and picked it up, seeing her name flickering between being seen and the design on the blade itself. She took two steps back before Rose stood, looking shocked.

"Well this is new," the female dark one's voice rang in her ears as Amanda and Rose held their stare. "Never before has a Dark One resisted the pull of the dagger and succeeded."

"How?" Rose's voice reached Amanda's ears as Amanda stood straighter and steeled her gaze.

"I am Amanda May Swan-Mills," Amanda stated, power reflecting in her voice. "Daughter of Queen Regina and the Savior Emma, conceived by True Love. The power of the Dark One was forced upon me, but I _refuse_ to be controlled for other's purposes. This dagger," she paused to look at the still-flickering blade, "will not control who I am or what I do. You threatened my family Rose, just like your son did. He deserved his death, just the same as you deserve."

"Amanda!" Lacey's voice rang out from behind her but Amanda could sense someone holding the werewolf back. She kept her eyes locked on Rose as the woman realized that she could be killed in a second.

"I am not a cold-blooded killer though," Amanda continued. "I offer you one chance, only one opportunity, to leave with your life. Leave Storybrooke, leave everyone here alone, and _never_ return."

"I'd take it if I were you Rose," Regina said from behind Amanda, causing the older woman to glance at the brunette approaching Amanda's side. "From the sound of her voice she's not playing around."

"I suppose not," the older woman muttered as Amanda's gaze remained unrelenting. "Fine, I'll leave." The woman bowed her head and began walking away. Emma moved to approach Amanda and Regina as Rose paused about twenty feet away. "Before I do though…" She turned so fast Amanda almost didn't see the bolt of darkness leaving her hands. It felt as if the world was moving in slow motion in that moment.

"Regina!" Emma screamed as she shoved her wife out of the way of the incoming magic. Amanda sent her own wave of magic at the woman, killing Rose instantly, as she was hit by the darkness, being thrown into Emma as both of their world's faded to black.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: CLIFFHANGER! I know, I'm evil. I welcome any speculations as to what happened to Amanda and Emma as they were hit by the magic. I hope that you, my lovely readers and followers, enjoyed this chapter and do not stay mad at me. Until next time, my dears!


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god. I can't believe I stopped posting at chapter 30 here. Gahhh! I originally post on ffn and have just completed chapter 36 on there. I am so very sorry to all of my AO3 fans. I will get chapters 30 through what I currently have up ASAP! I love all of you that are fans of this story!!

**Wow, this was interesting to write. A pain, but interesting. I hope it isn't too confusing to you all and that you enjoy! Reviews are greatly appreciated people! If there are no reviews being made, I question if anyone is even reading this story anymore.**

"Emma!" Regina's panicked voice rang through the square the same time Lacey was screaming Amanda's, seeing as both blondes were now splayed on the ground and unresponsive, about ten feet away from each other. Regina scrambled to her feet from the spot she landed when Emma had shoved her out of the way of incoming magic, rushing to her wife's side and searched for a pulse, a sign of life, anything in her panicked state. "Emma, no no no no, please no," the brunette muttered as she lowered her ear over Emma's chest. The angle she was at had her gasping as Lacey started doing chest compressions on her daughter. "Amanda?" Regina's voice shook.

"Focus on Emma," Lacey said through the compressions. "I've got Amanda." Regina was frozen in shock as she was shouldered out of the way by Snow. Her eyes barely focused as she tried to take in the scene before her. It was her worst nightmare coming true.

She never heard David calling for the ambulances, never saw the paramedics arrive to load her daughter and wife onto stretchers. She never saw that Lacey, Alex, and Snow left with the ambulances to the hospital, or when David and Neal helped the coroner take Rose's body away. She finally focused when Henry shook her by the shoulders, and only then was his face in focus for a second before she broke down into a sobbing mess.

**_TNS-TNS-TNS_ **

Amanda groaned as she slowly came to, her senses registering a full-body ache along with a slapping on her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open to see Emma's worried expression relax into relief. "Hey kid," Emma said as she leaned back to give Amanda some room. "Glad to see you're still with me."

"Where are we?" Amanda rasped as she slowly sat up.

"I don't know," Emma said. "I don't think this is Storybrooke though, not unless we have an underground sewer cave."

"A what?" Amanda asked as her eyes darted around the dark cave-like surrounding.

"Well it smells like rotten eggs," Emma answered with a shrug. Amanda's brow was furrowed as she sniffed the air. Indeed, it smelled like rotten eggs. Amanda tried to remember exactly how she had managed to become unconscious and ending up in a cave. The flash of dark magic that had been shot towards her and Regina, she had shot out her own magic, and she vaguely remembered seeing Rose's body collapse in death.

"Where's Mom?" Amanda asked as she started looking around more.

"I pushed her out of the way," Emma said. "Why?"

"Well you were right about us not being in Storybrooke," Amanda said as realization hit her. "What you are smelling is sulfur."

Emma looked at Amanda in confusion. "Sulfur? How?"

"Because we are in the underworld."

**_TNS-TNS-TNS_ **

It took Henry nearly twenty minutes to calm Regina down enough to take her to the hospital so they could be closer to Emma and Amanda. "They're going to be okay," Henry assured as he drove the ten minutes there from the square. "Ma and Amanda are fighters."

"This is all my fault," Regina kept saying, tears trailing down her cheeks even as she fought to keep them at bay. "I should have seen the attack coming. That should be me in the hospital." Henry was by her side when they walked in through the emergency room doors. Alex was the first to see them, her eyes red from crying so much, and she rushed into Regina's arms, her sobs coming out harder. Snow and David approached them as Neal sat with Lacey on the other side of the room.

"How are they?" Henry asked tentatively, fear creeping up on him as he looked into the solemn faces of his grandparents.

"Not good Henry," Snow said. "Emma had to be revived in the ambulance on the way over, Amanda flat-lined as soon as they got in the door but they were able to bring her back. Whale wanted to know exactly how they got this way. He has them on life support now." Regina's strangled cry from hearing the news drew Henry's attention to his mother and sister as Regina seemed to collapse at the news. He helped Alex get her over to a chair as she caved into herself.

"Do you know what that was that hit them?" David asked Henry as Snow moved to try to comfort Regina as well.

Henry shook his head. "My best guess would be some sort of dark magic, obviously." Henry looked pulled David closer so they wouldn't be heard. "They'll pull through, right Grandpa?" David grasped Henry's shoulder and gave him a light shake.

"For everyone's sanity, god I hope so."

**_TNS-TNS-TNS_ **

Amanda and Emma had been wandering around the caves for a while already. They became nose-blind to the sulfur smell already, but their next problem was just trying to find a way to get out. Neither of them seemed to be able to work their magic for transportation, just enough to conjure some food.

"Didn't we pass that rock already?" Amanda asked as Emma surged forward.

"I don't know, they all look the same," Emma grumbled.

"Ma, stop, please," Amanda pleaded. Emma spun and saw the sad look on her daughter's face. "I think we're going around in circles."

"Well I'm sorry but I'm just trying to find a way out of here."

"I know that, but we need to figure out a way to mark where we've been." Emma watched as Amanda shifted a bit on her foot, wincing.

"You sprained it, didn't you?" Emma asked, her concerned gaze darted down to Amanda's ankle. Earlier Amanda had tripped over a rock but Emma didn't think nothing of it because Amanda hadn't said that it hurt.

"What? No, I'm fine." Emma watched her set her jaw and try to stand taller.

"You're hurt." The pointed look Emma gave Amanda stopped the younger blonde from arguing. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't need you worrying about me," Amanda quietly said as she leaned back against a nearby rock tall enough for her to sit on.

Emma softened and moved closer to Amanda. "You're my daughter, I'm always going to worry about you." She gave Amanda a hug and lifted her chin with a finger. "We'll take a break, rest that ankle for a bit. Okay kid?"

Amanda smiled and nodded. "Yeah, okay."

_**TNS-TNS-TNS** _

It had been several hours since Regina had arrived at the hospital, and she had insisted on having Amanda and Emma in the same room. Whale and the hospital staff tried to put a limit for visitation for the family, but after a severe fight the Swan-Mills and Charming family were granted unlimited access to the room. Machines beeped steadily as Regina sat between her wife and daughter. Regina's red-rimmed eyes occasionally glanced at the crash cart in the corner that had to be periodically used on either Amanda or Emma to keep them alive. She gripped Emma's lifeless hand and kissed her knuckles. If she wasn't gripping Emma's hand it was Amanda's.

The knock on the door alerted Regina to Henry's presence. "You should go home Mom," he said, handing her a cup of hospital coffee. "Get some rest." Though Henry said the words, he knew Regina wouldn't leave unless forced to. Her shaking head confirmed his thoughts.

"I can't leave them Henry," she said, her voice raspy from all of the crying and yelling she had done. "This is my fault."

"Mom, look at me." Henry pulled up a chair and sat in front of her, seeing the tears barely clinging in her eyes from falling. "This is not your fault. It was that woman's, okay?" He took one of her hands in his. "She did this to Ma and Amanda. Amanda resisted the pull of the dagger because she loves you, she loves all of us. Wasn't that what we were banking on?" Regina gave a breathy chuckle as she nodded, a few tears escaping down her face. "You and Ma did that, you showed her what true love is all about."

"I should have seen the attack coming though," she whispered, her shoulders starting to shake from held back sobs. "I should have sensed that magic."

"Ma, it happened too fast," Henry tried to get through to her. "If Amanda could have stopped it, she would have. You know she would have. We are just lucky enough her magic killed Rose before Rose could get to us."

"But they're here, fighting for their lives." Regina's eyes darted from one bed to the other.

"And they are going to keep fighting to get back to us," Henry stated. Regina looked in his eyes and saw that he still believed everything would work out in the end.

_**TNS-TNS-TNS** _

"Where in the hell did these guys come from?!" Emma yelled as she and Amanda dived behind a thick rock pillar. She flinched as a fireball landed about two feet to her left in the opening she just dove from.

"I don't know, I forgot to ask for a map when we got here!" Amanda sarcastically answered as a fireball flew overhead, hitting the stone ceiling and causing a few rocks to fall. "Oh, that is it!" Amanda growled and stood up. "Hey, jerkface!"

"Amanda!" Emma hissed, her eyes wide in shock at Amanda's bold behavior. She watched as Amanda sent a bolt of magic out at the human-looking figures that were hurling the fireballs at them. One of them screamed as Amanda's magic hit, making him vanish into ash. His partner yelled and lobbed another fireball at Amanda, who ducked back down. "Do you have a death wish or something?" Emma asked her.

"We have to fight Ma, wonky magic or not." Emma saw the determined gaze in her daughter's eyes. She definitely wasn't going to go down without a fight.

"Okay," Emma agreed, watching as Amanda got back up and dodged over to another rock, firing her magic out as she moved. Emma figured that the only reason she was able to fire off her magic like that was because she had the Dark One's magic in her. Emma tried to get her own magic to work but only got flickers of power. Emma moved towards Amanda and nearly made it when the demon appeared in front of her. His sinister smile actually had her scared.

"Any last words, witch?" he asked as a fireball formed in his hand.

"Hasta la vista," Amanda said, her hand grabbing the fireball from his and shoving it down his throat as she grabbed him from behind. "Asshole." The demon sputtered before turning to ash like his friend did.

"Amanda, are you okay?" Emma asked, grabbing her hand and looking it over for any burn marks.

"I'm fine Ma," Amanda said calmly, knowing better than to pull away from her mother when she was like this. "Really."

"You're not burned, are you?"

"No, my hand got a little warm, but that was it." It was a surprise to Amanda as well that she didn't burn her hand when she grabbed the fireball. She was just chalking it up to the magic inside protecting her. It was something she knew she would have to look into once they got back home. Emma looked up from Amanda's hand into her daughter's blue eyes.

"Let's keep looking for a way out."


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Part one of a drama filled time. Some may hate me, some may love me, but I hope you all enjoy. And Remember, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

It had been nearly a week and a half, and still no change in either Emma or Amanda's conditions, aside from the fact that the frequency that the staff had to use the crash cart on them went down. Alex and Henry had to nearly drag Regina out of the hospital for a shower and a change of clothes, with Snow staying in her place at the bedsides for the time. Regina was worrying everyone with her behavior. Lacey came in every day and would try to talk Regina into resting, but the only time anyone saw her close her eyes was when she passed out from sheer exhaustion. Ruby would even come in with lunch from the diner as the pretense; Snow and Lacey had asked her to check in on Regina to make sure she was eating.

"Hey Mom," Alex said as she knocked on the door, entering the hospital room. Regina looked up at her from over Emma's bed and gave her a small smile.

"Hello dear," Regina answered. "There's still no change in your mother or sister."

"I kinda figured that," Alex said, wringing her hands together. She took a seat on the edge of Amanda's bed and gently grasped her sister's hand. "I spoke with Doctor Whale this morning." She noticed the peak in Regina's interest as she used the washcloth to clean Emma up a bit.

"What did he have to say?" Regina asked. Seeing the rise in her mother's spirits at the hope of good news made Alex feel guilty.

"I'd rather wait until Henry is in here to explain," she said, turning her attention to her still sister. Alex's heart panged painfully at the sight of her baby sister hooked up to tubes and wires, keeping her alive much the same as their other mother.

"I see," Regina said curtly, and Alex could see her putting on her mayoral mask. They stayed in silence for a few more moments before Henry made his way into the room, running a hand over his scruffy face.

"Hey Mom," he said, giving his brunette mother a kiss on the forehead before standing at the foot of Emma's bed.

"Henry," she acknowledged, turning her attention to Henry as she grasped Emma's hand like a lifeline. "I take it you spoke to Doctor Whale as well?"

"Yeah, Mom, I did."

"Well what did he tell you that he couldn't tell me?" Henry and Alex shared a sympathetic look before they looked at Regina and saw her face fall.

"He said we should start looking at possibilities, Mom," Henry started.

"No," Regina quietly stated, her breathing start to accelerate.

"They may not get better, or wake up," Henry continued, his eyes dropping.

"They will, they have to." Regina's voice trembled as she spoke. "You're the one who said they would fight to come back to us."

"And I'm sure they are Mom," Alex piped in, her grip tightening a bit on Amanda's hand as she spoke. "Doctor Whale was just telling us that the longer they are on life support, the less likely of a chance they have of coming back."

"I refuse to believe anything that imbecile speaks," Regina argued. "Magic put them here, magic will get them back." She looked down at Emma as tears threatened to spill. "It has to."

Henry looked sadly at his mother and then his sister. Alex gave him a warning look but he ignored it. "It's scientifically proven Mom," Henry said. "Especially with as many times as they had to revive them."

"Henry," Regina gasped, not believing the words coming out of her son's mouth. "This is Emma and Amanda you are talking about. Your mother and sister. Do you think they would give up on you like this?"

"No, but I have to be real about this too. There is a possibility that they may never come back again, magic or not."

"Henry," Alex warned as she saw the fury rising in Regina's eyes. "Let's not give up hope yet, okay?" She flashed him a small smile. "Grandma says true love always finds a way. How about we focus on that?" Henry looked at his optimistic sister and back at Regina, who shifted her gaze back down to Emma.

"Okay," he resigned, unable to bear the hurt Regina was showing. He just had a feeling though that they would have to say goodbye for good to someone soon.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Part 2 of drama, though this is more informative. Be prepared for the next though...**

The days of dodging the demons and creatures of the underworld were wearing Emma and Amanda thin. They only stopped to eat and rest when they both couldn’t go on. The only real reprieve they got was when they found a small wooden shack in one of the bigger caverns.

 

Inside it seemed warm and cozy despite the dankness outside the windows. When the owner, a petite long-haired brunette who insisted they call her Kira, arrived, both Amanda and Emma were ready to fight. Instead of fighting though, she offered them food and a place to rest without fear of being attacked.

 

Both mother and daughter were leery of the offer. Amanda had been more worried when none of the Dark Ones she was accustomed to in her head made an appearance to her. Their fears were eased a bit when Kira showed them a vision from “above”, and Emma knew no magic could fake the hurt and pain she saw reflecting on Regina’s face.

 

After Emma had fallen asleep Amanda approached Kira. “What are you exactly?” Amanda asked, sitting down at the little kitchen table with Kira.

 

“Does it bother you that much?” she asked with a quirking eyebrow.

 

“Yes, actually, it does. How come you are so willing to help us?”

 

Kira swirled her tea before answering. “I’m a seer here. But I don’t agree with the way the demons here want chaos and destruction.”

 

“Then explain to me, please, how we were able to see ourselves in a hospital when we are also here.”

 

Kira looked at Amanda in contemplation. “Things are different here in the underworld, it’s not what anyone above actually thinks,” she explained. “What you and your mother saw were your physical bodies. Your souls were ripped from them and sent here.”

 

“So we’re dead?” Amanda quietly asked. Kira shook her head.

 

“No, not exactly. Your souls were ripped away, but it was because of magic, not by actual death, though your bodies do want to follow the natural order of a removed soul. You two are unique.” Kira hummed to herself as she took a sip of her tea. Amanda’s eyes darted to her sleeping mother.

 

“How exactly are we unique?” Amanda continued questioning.

 

“You are the first souls that have a chance of getting out.”

 

“How?” Amanda asked after Kira didn’t elaborate.

 

“I should wait until your mother is awake,” Kira mused. Amanda released a soft growl of annoyance. “Do you know of Ceberus?”

 

“The three-headed dog of Hades,” Amanda recalled. “It’s part of Greek lore.”

 

Kira nodded. “He guards the portal between worlds from here. If you can make it past him and to that portal, you both can go home.”

 

“What’s the catch?” Kira eyed Amanda with a smirk. “These kinds of things always have a catch.”

 

“Being with the Dark One left an impression on you I see,” she mused. “The catch is that Lucifer is the keeper of Ceberus, and he has a mean ol’ temper. Always on watch. I think he’s still pissed about not getting the eternal glory all of the other angels had gotten after he tried to lead the rebellion.”

 

Amanda looked a little bewildered. “Lucifer is real as well?” she asked.

 

“Well of course, silly. Where do you think the stories came from?” Amanda sat back, slightly dumbfounded. They were silent for a while before Kira spoke again. “You don’t have to worry about it you know.”

 

“About what?” Amanda asked.

 

“The Dark One.” Kira took a sip of her tea again as Amanda looked quizzically at her. “When your soul was brought down here, the Dark One was as well. Because you aren’t in a physical body though, the Dark One cannot attach itself to you.”

 

“So the darkness is looking for another host?”

 

Kira shook her head. “No, it actually attached itself to the greatest power it could find here. Fortunately your little defiance stunt above fractured the power, which is why you may still feel some of it.”

 

“Fractured the power?” Amanda shook her head, trying to understand.

 

“Not all magic is linked to bad. Only the truly evil parts stayed with the Dark One essence.” Kira saw Amanda was still confused. “You ever read that book series Harry Porter?”

 

“Potter. It’s Harry Potter.”

 

“Oh yeah. Anyways, what happened is similar to that thing Moldy did with his soul.”  


“You mean Voldemort and the horcruxes?” Amanda asked, slightly irked at the butchering of one of her favorite book series.

 

“Yes, instead of it being a soul though, because that is just silly, the magic fractured and part of it is entwined with you.” Kira smiled at Amanda. “The magic doesn’t make you bad, that is determined by what you do with the magic.” Amanda smiled at that, for it was a point she had made several years earlier. “You should really get some rest. You and your mother have a long journey yet if you want to get back to your family soon.”

 

 


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Dear readers, please don't hate me, please... *don't forget to review***

With the help Kira had given them, Amanda and Emma neared the area where the portal and Cerebus were. They peered in from the cave entrance at the large sleeping dog.

 

“Does this seem a little easy to you?” Emma whispered.

 

“Kinda. He looks like a three-headed mastiff,” Amanda whispered back, her eyes never leaving the dog. Emma rolled her eyes at Amanda.

 

“Where is Lucifer?” Emma wondered. Amanda glanced around and saw him sitting in a chair, slicing up an apple. She tapped Emma’s shoulder and pointed. “How do you suggest we get past them?”

 

“Easy, live bait.” Emma looked almost furious at the suggestion. “What? My magic seems to be working the most. I’ll distract them while you go for the portal.”

 

“No, I’m not risking you.” Amanda sighed at her mother’s insistence. Before they had left Kira’s hut they took one more look at their family from the pensive and Amanda felt a large lump of guilt seeing the pain in Regina’s expression as the brunette begged them both to come back. It didn’t escape Amanda’s eyes to see how the brunette mother clutched Emma’s hand. She made up her mind that she would do everything to send Emma home, even if it meant she lost herself.

 

“Fine,” Amanda said in an attempt to appease Emma but knowing she would make her go home no matter what. “We try to crawl our way to the portal and pray we don’t get caught.” Amanda looked at Emma’s eyes. “If we are spotted promise me you’ll head straight for the portal.” Emma started shaking her head. “I’ll be right behind you Mom.” Emma’s eyes softened.

 

“I love you kid,” Emma whispered, wrapping her arms around Amanda as Amanda hugged her back. “So much.”

 

“I love you too Mama,” Amanda said, fighting the urge to cry. She pulled away and took a deep breath. “Let’s go.”

 

Emma followed Amanda as they darted from rock to rock. They were about fifty yards from the portal when one of the massive heads of the dog rose, sniffing the air before releasing a growl. _Shit,_ Amanda thought, eyeing up the situation.

 

“What is it boy?” Lucifer asked the dog as he got up. Amanda focused her magic on some rocks on the far side of the cavern, causing them to move and drawing attention away from them. “Who’s there?” Lucifer shouted as Cerebus rose to its feet, the other heads awake now as well. “Show yourself!” Amanda caused more rocks to move. “I said show yourself!” Amanda grabbed Emma’s shoulder and shoved her forward at the same time she stood, hurling a blast of magic at Lucifer and catching him off guard, sending him sprawling. Cerebus lunged for her and Amanda rolled out of the way, barely avoiding a snapping jaw.

 

“Amanda!” Emma yelled, turning around to go back for her daughter.

 

“Go!” Amanda shouted back, blasting the dog with magic to keep it back. She saw Lucifer steadying himself on his feet as Emma stalled. “Run!” she barked, sprinting towards Emma and the portal. As soon as Emma saw Amanda moving she started sprinting for the portal again. Lucifer saw where they were headed and conjured a wall of fire in their path. Emma tried to stop but got too close to the fire, burning her arms. She screamed in pain as she fell back. “Mom!” Amanda yelled, sliding to a stop next to Emma.

 

“Fools,” Lucifer sneered as he approached them. Amanda attempted to heal Emma but was unsuccessful. The fire wall disappeared and Amanda the portal only twenty feet away. She stood and spun, letting her magic lash wildly at Lucifer, but he merely laughed as he deflected it. “Don’t you know? You can’t kill an angel.”

 

Amanda clenched her jaw. “You’re no angel,” she said as Cerebus came behind Lucifer, growling.

 

“And you’re no Dark One either,” he sneered again. “I’m sure you’ve realized that by now though.” He let out a laugh. “How about I offer you a deal?” Amanda recognized the glint in his eye; it was the same glint she used to see in Rumple’s eyes when she wielded the dark power. “You become my creation, my complete Dark One, and she lives.”

 

“No!” Emma shouted, trying to raise to her feet. Amanda turned to help her up. “Don’t do it, it’s not worth it.”

 

“What would happen if I refuse?” Amanda asked, looking sadly at Emma.

 

“Then you both burn in the Eternal Fire.” Emma shook her head, eyes watering with tears.

 

“What if I offer to stay, but she goes back,” Amanda asked, stepping back from Emma as Emma’s eyes grew fearful.

 

“You’re offering to burn, for her?” Lucifer chuckled as Amanda gave a nod. “Deal!”

  
“No!” Emma lunged at Lucifer, pushing Amanda back towards the portal. The last thing Amanda saw before she awoke in the hospital was the wall of fire blocking her view of Emma.

 

 


	34. Chapter 34

**WARNING: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH!**

**A/N: Please don't hate me too much, my beautiful wonderful readers... and a major thanks to cutelikemurder for reading this in advance. You are my little muse...**

Regina was in her usual spot between her daughter and wife, reading out loud to them the news in The Mirror, when Lacey knocked on the door bearing her usual package of a salad and grilled cheese her mother sent along. Regina folded the paper and took off the reading glasses.

"How are you doing Regina?" Lacey asked as she handed the bag to the older brunette. Regina gave her a smile as she accepted it, pulling the container out and setting it on the table between the beds.

"Same as usual dear," Regina answered, her eyes darting between the two still figures. "There's still no change."

"Yeah, Alex told me." Lacey shuffled towards Amanda's bed and grasped her hand. The skin was cool to the touch and Lacey bit her lip as she wondered if Amanda and Emma would ever wake up. "Did Doctor Whale say anything more than what he insinuated the other day?"

Regina scoffed as she opened the take out container and grabbed half of the grilled cheese. "No, but I also told him that if he ever thinks I'm going to pull the plug on either my wife or daughter that he is sorely mistaken."

"I'm sure there was more to that conversation besides what you are saying, but no one messes with you," Lacey chuckled as she ran her thumb over the back of Amanda's hand. "So, um, Regina-" Lacey started to say before the beeping on Amanda's machine started increasing. Regina set down her sandwich and stepped closer to Lacey as they both stared at the monitor for a moment before Amanda sat up in the bed, gasping and gagging on the tube in her throat.

"Amanda?" Regina gasped, shocked at the sudden awakening. Amanda started yanking at the tubing and the IVs attached to her before either Regina or Lacey could stop her. Amanda was coughing and hacking as the tube came out of her throat, a slight trail of blood evident on the plastic.

"Miss Mills, stop!" the nurse who ran into the room shouted as she tried to stop Amanda. The young blonde was frantic though, fighting the nurse and Lacey tried to keep Amanda from injuring herself further. Through Amanda's struggles as Regina watched, the sudden sound of a machine flat lining drew everyone's attention to Emma. "CODE BLUE!" the nurse screamed as she dropped what she was doing on Amanda and rushed towards Emma as another nurse rushed in. Lacey's hold went slack and Amanda yanked all the IVs out, falling out of the bed as she tried to get up.

"No," Regina said as she pressed her back up against the wall, eyes wide in shock and watering, bringing her hand to cover her mouth as the other wrapped around her abdomen. Two more nurses and one of the other doctors came in, and pushed her and Lacey out of the room. Amanda rose to her bare feet, the hospital gown covering just the essentials, as she stood in the corner, watching in disbelief as the staff tried to bring Emma back. Through all the chaos Amanda knew though that this time her mother was gone for good.

"Call it," the doctor said after five unsuccessful attempts to resuscitate Emma, the flat noise of the heart monitor filling the room. Amanda couldn't take it anymore and bolted out the door, not even seeing Lacey hugging Regina, and ran for the exit, crashing through the door and setting off the alarm.

"Amanda?" Lacey said as she saw the blur of hospital gown disappear out the door. She released her hold on Regina and moved for the exit as the staff started trailing out of the room. Henry and Alex were already rushing down the hall towards the room as Lacey ran into them.

"What's going on?" Alex asked as Henry tried to grab Lacey by the shoulders to stabilize her.

"Amanda woke up and ran," she said, struggling against Henry's hold. "Emma flat-lined." Alex gasped and hurried to Regina, who was now collapsed on the floor to her knees in a sobbing mess. "I need to get to Amanda."

"Go," Henry said, releasing her. "Take care of my sister!" he called as Lacey escaped out the exit door and he moved forward towards Regina.

As soon as she was outside, Lacey barely had to tap into her wolf senses to find Amanda. Twenty feet into the wood line she found Amanda in a ball at the base of a tall tree, sobbing. Lacey sat down next to her, gathering the blonde into her arms and pulling her close while Amanda continued to sob and Lacey quietly cried. "It's all my fault," was all Lacey could hear Amanda cry out when the sobs started quieting only to have them start furiously again. The strong smell of antiseptic and blood wasn't enough to deter Lacey from pulling Amanda onto her lap and wrapping her arms more securely around her.

It was about an hour later when Amanda had sobbed herself to sleep in Lacey's arms when Henry came out, his eyes red from crying his own tears in the hospital over Emma. He found Lacey and Amanda and sat down on the log nearby. Lacey lovingly ran her hand through Amanda's hair, now soiled with dirt, leaves and twigs from being on the ground. Lacey looked up at Henry and he shook his head. "She didn't make it," Henry quietly said. Lacey gave a nod, pulling Amanda closer. Amanda's eyes fluttered open and focused on Lacey as she came to.

"Hey," Lacey breathed softly. Amanda blinked as she looked around at where she was and her eyes focused on Henry's sad features in the fading daylight.

"I'm sorry," she said, tears springing to her eyes and her voice breaking again. "I tried. It's all my fault." The sobs started fresh again as she buried her head into Lacey's shoulder. Lacey tried to quiet her the best she could.

"Doctor Whale wants her back inside," Henry said, trying to make sense of what Amanda was saying. "So does Mom and Alex."

"Okay," Lacey said, wrapping her arms around Amanda a little more securely and got up, following Henry back to the building as the blonde continued to sob.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

**A/N: Hey everyone. So after a bout of severe writer's block, life events, depression, and school getting in the way, I am finally done with this chapter. If you are still attached to this story, thank you so much for sticking with me. I wasn't sure if I should even continue with this story, but after talking with my best friend I realized I can't necessarily just give up on this story if I truly want to make it as a writer. With that being said, onward with the story!**

Though the sobs had stopped by the time Lacey and Henry got Amanda back into the hospital, they had a new problem with the blonde. She wouldn't look at or talk to anyone. Even when Regina came up to them and ran a hand over Amanda's hair, the young blonde just buried her face into Lacey's shoulder. Since Emma's body had been removed Amanda was the only patient in the room and everyone seemed to be piled into it, surrounding her. Snow, David and even Neal showed up. Everyone wanted answers as to why Emma was dead and why Amanda had ran. Instead of answering them she just sat in the bed and stared down at the sheet covering her legs. When it was apparent she wasn't going to talk voluntarily Snow snapped.

"For the love of god Regina, use that damned dagger on her!" Snow practically screamed as she looked furiously at Amanda. "The girl knows what the hell happened to my daughter and she needs to tell!" Regina's face hardened from its softness into the sneer of the Evil Queen as she turned to face Snow White.

"First of all, you don't go demanding anything from me, _especially_ when it comes to dealing with my family. That is my daughter, your _granddaughter_ , that you are trying to make me torture for information. Secondly, Emma was my wife, and I am as eager for answers as you are, but I will not put Amanda through that. In case you can't see it, Snow, something is making her shut down on us." Snow looked over at Amanda and saw silent tears running down her face as she looked about ready to collapse into herself, and the anger she had for the lack of information left her.

"You're right Regina," Snow softly said. "I'm sorry. This is just hurting so much." Regina softened at her mother-in-law's words. "I can't even imagine what you must be feeling." David came up behind Snow and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Maybe its best that we go home Snow," he quietly said. "Grieve there." Snow nodded before giving Regina a hug.

"Call us if you need anything," Snow said before she and David left. Neal shifted from one foot to the other before mumbling he should go too and left. Lacey sat on the bed with Amanda, grasping her hand. Alex stood next to the bed, one hand rubbing Amanda's back. Henry sighed, rubbing his face as he sat down in one of the chairs against the wall. Regina turned back to Amanda and sat down at the foot of the bed.

"Sweetheart?" Regina asked softly, but no response came from Amanda. All everyone knew from Lacey's telling was that Amanda kept saying it was all her fault.

"Maybe Grandma was right," Henry said. "Maybe we should use the dagger on her." Lacey felt Amanda grip her hand as Regina watched more tears pour out of already red eyes.

"No," Regina said. Henry wasn't about to give up though.

"Why not? We need answers." He quickly got up and grabbed Regina's purse from the bedside table before she could react and pulled out the dagger, brandishing it in front of Amanda. "Tell us what happened."

"It's not gonna work," Amanda whispered, the first words to come out of her since Lacey brought her back in nearly two hours earlier.

"What?" Regina asked, leaning in closer to her daughter.

"I said it's not gonna work," Amanda repeated, voice hoarse. "Look at the blade." Henry looked down and his eyes grew wide as he saw there was no name anymore on the blade; it was just a solid design.

"She's not attached to the dagger." Henry passed the dagger to Regina who looked it over, not feeling the buzz of magic it used to give off. "How?"

"Amanda, sweetheart," Regina tried again, scooting closer to her and placing a hand on her leg. "We just want to understand. We're not mad."

"You should be," Amanda whimpered, her shoulders shaking. "It's all my fault." Regina closed her eyes and sighed as Amanda caved into herself. When she opened them her sad gaze saw Lacey holding Amanda close and Alex leaving the room. Henry looked conflicted, as if he wanted to yell at Amanda but felt horrible at the condition his baby sister was in. He looked Regina in the eye before rushing out of the room, nearly colliding with the nurse coming in with Alex.

"Here, this will help," she said, using a syringe to put something into the IV line they reattached to Amanda after she came back in.

"What is that?" Regina asked.

"It's a sedative, Mrs. Mills," the nurse said as she unscrewed the syringe from its attachment point and checked the machine the IV was attached to. "Clearly your daughter was through something traumatic. She needs to rest."

"We're not leaving," Lacey said fiercely as Amanda calmed in her arms and became drowsy. The nurse gave them a small smile.

"I figured as much. Let the front desk know if you need anything," she said and left. Amanda was out just a few moments later.

"I'm going to go find Henry," Alex said after they heard soft snores come from the young blonde. "Do you two need anything?" Both shook their heads no and Alex left.

**TNS TNS TNS**

It wasn't hard for Alex to find Henry; he had only gone down to the patient waiting area and was sitting in one of the hard plastic chairs in the corner. Alex walked over and sat down in the chair next to him. "What made you do that?" she asked him.

"Do what?" he asked.

"Try to use the dagger." Henry sighed. "She's our family, Henry. Our baby sister. And you wanted to hurt her, control her, just like that. Why?"

"I want to know what happened to Ma," he answered. "I want to know why she feels so guilty. Is it because of the magical attack? Or did something else happen to them when they were unconscious?"

It was Alex's turn to sigh. "We won't know until she opens up."

"How do we get her to do that then?" Henry asked. "Only things we got out of her is that the dagger isn't linked to her anymore and that she keeps saying it's her fault."

Alex shrugged. "Maybe there is a truth spell or potion written in the books at her shop." Henry took a sharp intake of breath.

"Mom will hate us if she finds out we try something like that," he warned. "She and Ma always warned about magic always having a price."

"Like she's really happy about you going into her purse to try using the dagger," Alex countered. "I just want to know what is hurting her so we can help her."

"I'm going to see if there is anything like that at the shop," Henry stated, rising to his feet. "I don't think I'm going to be high on Amanda's list of favorite people to see when she wakes up." He reached over and squeezed Alex's shoulder before leaving.

**TNS TNS TNS**

Regina had convinced Lacey to go for a walk while she stayed at Amanda's side. Even sedated she could tell Amanda was in some sort of pain. Regina sighed, running a hand over the blonde locks.

"I wish you would tell us what's going on," Regina whispered. "Why are you blaming yourself for Emma's death?" Her heart felt like it tightened at the acknowledgement of her wife's death. She fought the urge to cry as she continued to watch over Amanda.

A knock at the door made Regina turn. Alex gave her mother a small smile. "Hey Mom." Regina returned the smile.

"Alexis," Regina greeted her eldest daughter. "Did you find Henry?"

"Yeah, he said he was going for a walk." She stepped up to Regina's side. "It's okay to cry Mom." Regina shook her head but a lone tear escaped. Alex wrapped her arms around her mother as Regina fought the sobs threatening to spill.

"Your mother is dead, your sister is blaming herself so badly she had to be sedated, your brother and grandmother are trying to force answers, and I feel like my heart is crushing itself," she sobbed.

"It'll be okay Mom," Alex said, holding Regina close.

A couple of hours later Amanda opened her eyes as the sedatives wore off. She saw Regina asleep in the chair next to the bed, dried tear tracks on her face. Instant guilt hit Amanda, causing her to gasp as she struggled to control her emotions. She could feel her heartrate increasing and the beeping of the machine confirmed it. She slammed her eyes shut and clenched her jaw, but nothing she did could stop the tears from escaping as guilty thoughts ran through her head.

"Amanda?" she heard Regina call out as a set of steps entered the room. She felt a hand grab hers but Amanda jerked it back violently.

"Miss Swan-Mills, are you in pain?" the nurse asked as she pressed buttons on the heart monitor.

 _Not as much as I should be,_ Amanda thought, but answered the nurse with "No."

"I'm going to give you a sedative-"

"No!" Amanda's eyes snapped open and she glared at the nurse. "Don't give me any more sedatives. I don't like how they are making me feel."

"It's to help-"

"If my daughter said no, then don't," Regina said, backing Amanda's decision. The nurse looked between the two of them, ducking her head in defeat.

"If you change your mind, don't hesitate to call me," she simply stated and left the room. As soon as the nurse was gone, Amanda started grabbing at tubes and wires.

"Amanda, stop," Regina told her as she tried to stop her daughter's attempt to rip everything off of herself.

"I can't be here, I need to leave," Amanda muttered, pushing Regina's hands away and reached for the IV line, successfully pulling it out before Regina grabbed her hand again.

"Amanda, please, you're going to hurt yourself," Regina pleaded.

"I deserve to hurt," Amanda whispered as she winced. Regina's eyes teared up as she watched her daughter self-destructing.

"Why? Why do you think that?" Regina asked.

"Because it's my fault Mom is dead," Amanda said, her voice wavering as she fought her own sorrow. "I killed her."

Regina looked at her confused as she grabbed her youngest's face to look her in the eye. "What do you mean?" she asked, watching as the beautiful blue orbs filled with guilt and hurt.

"I made the deal, I was supposed to stay in the underworld and she was supposed to come home." Tears welled in Amanda's eyes. "It was supposed to be me that died in this world, not her." Regina gasped at the information being given to her.

"So while you two were unconscious here-"

"Our spirits were in the underworld. We were fighting to get back home." Amanda sniffed in an attempt to control the tears. "When we ran into the portal keeper, I made the deal that for Mom to live, I would stay and burn forever. She pushed me out of the way though as the flames were to consume me." Amanda clenched her eyes closed, forcing the tears to fall.

 _Emma sacrificed herself so Amanda could live,_ Regina thought as she stared at Amanda's face before wrapping her arms around her youngest. Regina knew that if she had been in the same position as Emma, she would have saved Amanda as well. They had both agreed not long ago that if the children were in danger they would gladly sacrifice themselves. Both Regina and Emma believed that their time as heroes, of being around, was mostly done and that their children were more important to carry on the family.

"Amanda, listen to me," Regina said, pulling back so she could hold Amanda's face again. When blue eyes met brown Regina continued. "This is not your fault." Amanda started shaking her head but Regina didn't allow her to protest. "No, your mother sacrificed herself because you deserve to live. Our time is done, it's yours and your sister's and your brother's time to live."

"It was my deal though," Amanda cried.

"It doesn't matter. She knew what she was doing. I would have done the same thing." Regina gave a small smile as she wiped away a tear. "Considering I could have lost you both, I'm thankful she saved you."

"I deserved to die though!" Amanda wailed. "I was the Dark One, I was the evil one!"

"Shh," Regina shushed, pulling her daughter close again in an attempt to sooth her. "You were not evil, I refuse to believe that. You are the daughter of the Savior. Even as the Dark One you were very much good." Amanda continued to sob into her mother as Regina allowed silent tears to drop. When Regina felt Amanda's breathing even out she glanced down at Amanda. The sobs had stopped but she could still see the pain her daughter held. Regina continued to hold Amanda even after the girl fell asleep and Henry returned.

"Hey Mom," he said quietly as he took in the sight of his sleeping sister in Regina's arms. "How's she doing?"

"She feels guilty for surviving," Regina said just as quietly, stroking Amanda's hair gently. "Apparently when they were in the comas their souls were dragged into the underworld."

Henry looked shocked at Amanda. "She told you that?" he asked, his hand subconsciously going over the pocket that held the truth potion he had found in the pawn shop. He didn't think that his sister was going to tell what happened that fast.

"She made a deal that she was supposed to stay and Emma was supposed to come home, but Emma made her come back to us." Regina gave a small little chuckle as a few tears escaped. "That was your mother, always the hero." Henry slumped into the chair and stared at his little sister. He was upset because Emma was gone, but he understood now why Amanda was so distraught and upset at herself.

"Amanda made the deal to die, but Ma sacrificed herself instead," Henry simplified. "What a parent will do for their children," he muttered, thinking of his own children at home with his wife. He had called Grace earlier and told her the news.

"Henry?" Amanda's sleepy voice called out and he looked at her confused expression. "Mom?" she asked as she turned her head to face Regina.

"I'm right here, Ladybug," Regina said, holding Amanda close. Henry watched Amanda as Regina pulled her closer, seeing his baby sister's eyes become dulled and worried about what was to come for the family.

**A/N2: Okay, so I am not overly happy with how this chapter is ending, but after a few months of not writing and still being in a slight slump with this portion of the story, I figured it would be best to just get it out. Also, I have been watching OUAT 5B and am not happy with it at all. Like my bestie cutelikemurder states, bad writing is bad writing. Even though I disliked the Robin Hood character, I am saddened by the sudden loss in the show. Lots of love to my OQ shipper friends. Hook should stay dead imo.**


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to murderouslyadorkable for bouncing some ideas off for chapters.

**TRIGGER WARNING: THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS HAVE DISCUSSION OF A MAJOR CHARACTER'S DEATH AND SUICIDE.**

Within a few days Whale gave Amanda the green light to be released from the hospital. Archie had done a preliminary consultation and prescribe Xanax for her anxiety. Nothing could really prepare her for the day after she was released.

The sky drizzle down as everyone stood in the cemetery, paying their final respects to the Savior, mother, wife, daughter, and friend. Regina, and even Alex, offered to share their umbrellas with Amanda, but the young blonde refused. Even though she took the prescribed medicine, there was nothing that anyone could do to ease the pain and numbness she felt in her heart. She felt it only fitting that the rain soaked through her suit.

Everyone had left the vault except for the Swan-Mills family as the groundskeeper placed Emma's body into its final resting spot. During the entire memorial Regina watched her daughter, knowing that although she had been released from the hospital Amanda harbored a world of guilt and pain for the loss of her mother.

The entire town gathered at Granny's Diner for the wake. Stories and memories were shared about Emma, but Amanda remained in a corner nursing a whiskey she snagged from the bar area.

"Should you be drinking?" Lacey asked as she pulled a chair over to the small table.

"Why do you care?" Amanda retorted, taking a sip. Lacey's frowned as she watched her friend's now grey eyes scan the room. It hurt her to see that the once beautiful blue eyes for best friend had had lost their gleam and shine.

"Amanda, I know you're hurting, but drinking isn't the answer," Lacey said.

"Right now the burn of alcohol is the only thing I can feel Lace," man. Replied, her eyes finally finding the warm browns of her best friend. " I feel so numb from everything else, I just need to feel _something."_ Lacy reached out and placed her hand on Amanda's.

"I'm here for you, okay?" Amanda nodded in response. Your lips twitch but didn't allow the smile to come through.

"Yeah. Listen, I'm getting tired. If my mom comes around looking for me, tell her I went to take a nap."

"Okay," Lacey responded as she watched Amanda get up and walk out the back.

Amanda made her way to the pawn shop and let herself in through the back stairwell to her little apartment. Once inside she sighed, we leave to be away from everyone grieving for her father and mother. The numbness and guilt was beginning to weigh her down.

As Amanda unbuttoned her damp suit coat she fished out her medicine bottle, placing it on the table before hanging the coat over the back of a chair. She opened the refrigerator to see a bottle of whiskey chilling. _That'll do,_ she thought as she poured a tall glass of the alcohol, then popped the top off the pill bottle and pouring a handful of pills into her palm. The one at a time didn't seem to be helping one bit. As she wished for the painful numbness to go away, she threw the pills into her mouth and washed them down with the pale Amber liquid before pouring herself another glass full and moving for the couch.

Amanda kicked off her shoes and grabbed the remote before sitting down and turning on an infomercial. It wasn't very long before the alcohol, exhaustion, and pills took over and she was out, her half-full glass dropping from her hand and shattering on the hardwood floor.

TNS-TNS-TNS

Henry had been feeling uneasy towards the end of the day. He couldn't pinpoint what it exactly was though. The feeling only increased when he tried to find Amanda, but was told she went to take a nap. He took the spare key Lacey gave him for Amanda's apartment and decided to check on his baby sister.

As he got closer to the apartment door he could hear the TV on. Henry shook his head and tried the door knob to find it unlocked. He frowned at this but entered. The first thing that he saw was her prescription bottle, open, next to the Jack Daniel's bottle.

"Shit," he whispered to himself, knowing any drug mixed with alcohol is not a good sign. "Amanda?" he called out, hoping she was at least awake. His feet took him to the couch where he saw her laying down. "Amanda!" he shouted, rushing to her side. He paused only for a moment when he heard the crunch of broken glass under his foot. "Oh no." He checked her pulse and sighed as he felt it there, but sporadic. He quickly pulled out his phone and called 911.

TNS-TNS-TNS

_Where the fuck is that beeping coming from?_ Amanda thought as she slowly came to. She had to blink a few times before the hospital room came into focus.

"Amanda?" Her eyes slowly shifted to meet the mocha colored worried orbs. "Amanda sweetheart, can you hear me?"

"Mom?" she croaked out, but Regina was overjoyed to hear her voice. "Where am I? What happened?"

"You're in the hospital dear," Regina explained. "You overdosed on your medicine with alcohol." Regina frowned then. "Why'd you do it?"

"What?" Amanda asked, still slightly confused.

"We just buried Emma and you tried to join her on the same day?" Regina didn't bother trying to hide her tears. "What were you thinking?" Amanda's hat broke seeing how hurt her mother was.

"I-" Amanda sighed, closing her eyes against the emotional pain. "I didn't want to join her. I just wanted to stop hurting."

"Oh baby girl." Regina pushed her hair back and kissed Amanda on the forehead. "I know how you feel. But drinking and taking excessive pills isn't the answer."

Amanda open her eyes and met Regina's. "I'm sorry Mom. I'm sorry." Amanda scooted over in the bed for Regina to climb onto it as well. Once the brunette was settled, Amanda curled into her as mother and daughter sobbed. Amanda's guilt was there though, tormenting her about yet another failure in her life.

Within a few days Whale gave Amanda the green light to be released from the hospital. Archie had done a preliminary consultation and prescribe Xanax for her anxiety. Nothing could really prepare her for the day after she was released.

The sky drizzle down as everyone stood in the cemetery, paying their final respects to the Savior, mother, wife, daughter, and friend. Regina, and even Alex, offered to share their umbrellas with Amanda, but the young blonde refused. Even though she took the prescribed medicine, there was nothing that anyone could do to ease the pain and numbness she felt in her heart. She felt it only fitting that the rain soaked through her suit.

Everyone had left the vault except for the Swan-Mills family as the groundskeeper placed Emma's body into its final resting spot. During the entire memorial Regina watched her daughter, knowing that although she had been released from the hospital Amanda harbored a world of guilt and pain for the loss of her mother.

The entire town gathered at Granny's Diner for the wake. Stories and memories were shared about Emma, but Amanda remained in a corner nursing a whiskey she snagged from the bar area.

"Should you be drinking?" Lacey asked as she pulled a chair over to the small table.

"Why do you care?" Amanda retorted, taking a sip. Lacey's frowned as she watched her friend's now grey eyes scan the room. It hurt her to see that the once beautiful blue eyes for best friend had had lost their gleam and shine.

"Amanda, I know you're hurting, but drinking isn't the answer," Lacey said.

"Right now the burn of alcohol is the only thing I can feel Lace," Amanda replied, her eyes finally finding the warm browns of her best friend. " I feel so numb from everything else, I just need to feel  _something."_ Lacy reached out and placed her hand on Amanda's.

"I'm here for you, okay?" Amanda nodded in response. Your lips twitch but didn't allow the smile to come through.

"Yeah. Listen, I'm getting tired. If my mom comes around looking for me, tell her I went to take a nap."

"Okay," Lacey responded as she watched Amanda get up and walk out the back.

Amanda made her way to the pawn shop and let herself in through the back stairwell to her little apartment. Once inside she sighed, relieved to be away from everyone grieving for her mother. The numbness and guilt was beginning to weigh her down.

As Amanda unbuttoned her damp suit coat she fished out her medicine bottle, placing it on the table before hanging the coat over the back of a chair. She opened the refrigerator to see a bottle of whiskey chilling.  _That'll do,_  she thought as she poured a tall glass of the alcohol, then popped the top off the pill bottle and pouring a handful of pills into her palm. The one at a time didn't seem to be helping one bit. As she wished for the painful numbness to go away, she threw the pills into her mouth and washed them down with the pale amber liquid before pouring herself another glass full and moving for the couch.

Amanda kicked off her shoes and grabbed the remote before sitting down and turning on an infomercial. It wasn't very long before the alcohol, exhaustion, and pills took over and she was out, her half-full glass dropping from her hand and shattering on the hardwood floor.

**[TNS-TNS-TNS]**

Henry had been feeling uneasy towards the end of the day. He couldn't pinpoint what it exactly was though. The feeling only increased when he tried to find Amanda, but was told she went to take a nap. He took the spare key Lacey gave him for Amanda's apartment and decided to check on his baby sister.

As he got closer to the apartment door he could hear the TV on. Henry shook his head and tried the door knob to find it unlocked. He frowned at this but entered. The first thing that he saw was her prescription bottle, open, next to the Jack Daniel's bottle.

"Shit," he whispered to himself, knowing any drug mixed with alcohol is not a good sign. "Amanda?" he called out, hoping she was at least awake. His feet took him to the couch where he saw her laying down. "Amanda!" he shouted, rushing to her side. He paused only for a moment when he heard the crunch of broken glass under his foot. "Oh no." He checked her pulse and sighed as he felt it there, but sporadic. He quickly pulled out his phone and called 911.

**[TNS-TNS-TNS]**

_Where the fuck is that beeping coming from?_ Amanda thought as she slowly came to. She had to blink a few times before the hospital room came into focus.

"Amanda?" Her eyes slowly shifted to meet the mocha colored worried orbs. "Amanda sweetheart, can you hear me?"

"Mom?" she croaked out, but Regina was overjoyed to hear her voice. "Where am I? What happened?"

"You're in the hospital dear," Regina explained. "You overdosed on your medicine with alcohol." Regina frowned then. "Why'd you do it?"

"What?" Amanda asked, still slightly confused.

"We just buried Emma and you tried to join her on the same day?" Regina didn't bother trying to hide her tears. "What were you thinking?" Amanda's heart broke seeing how hurt her mother was.

"I-" Amanda sighed, closing her eyes against the emotional pain. "I didn't want to join her. I just wanted to stop hurting."

"Oh baby girl." Regina pushed her hair back and kissed Amanda on the forehead. "I know how you feel. But drinking and taking excessive pills isn't the answer."

Amanda open her eyes and met Regina's. "I'm sorry Mom. I'm sorry." Amanda scooted over in the bed for Regina to climb onto it as well. Once the brunette was settled, Amanda curled into her as mother and daughter sobbed. Amanda's guilt was there though, tormenting her about yet another failure in her life.


	37. Chapter 37

Before Whale has released Amanda from the hospital again, he had Archie meet with both her and Regina. Amanda swore it hadn't been a suicide attempt but because of all the guilt and depression she had from Emma's death they both made her promise to stay at the mansion with Regina while also allowing Regina to monitor Amanda's medicine. Amanda relented, hating being in the hospital more than she hated having her freedom taken.

It took a few days of simply staying in her room before she felt like a caged animal inside the house. Regina didn't keep Amanda from leaving; on the contrary, she encouraged her to get up and go out. Lacey even tried coming over to drag her out. Amanda just didn't like that every morning Regina would give her a glass of water and her medicine and wouldn't leave until Amanda swallowed it. After nearly a week she was tired of the repetitive barrage of guilt in her head, not to mention the twitching in her legs from her recent lack of running.

When she looked at the clock sitting on her night stand the red luminous numbers read 4 a.m. Quietly, Amanda put on her running gear, made the bed, and slipped out the back door for a run. Once her feet hit the mossy dirt Amanda relaxed a bit, letting her body reacclimate to the pace she was setting. She forced the thoughts that told her she was a failure, that she should have been dead, out of her head and instead focused on her breathing and not falling over a rock or fallen branch.

Regina was up by her usual six in the morning. She had a slightly uneasy feeling as she climbed out of bed and wrapped a silky pink robe around herself. Burying her nose into the collar, she inhaled deeply. Emma's scent still lingers strongly in the material and she couldn't stop the few tears that slipped from the corner of her eye. After taking a moment to relish her wife’s memory, she padded it down the hallway to Amanda's room. Regina realized her uneasy feeling wasn't unfounded as she noticed the bed was made and empty. A quick run through the house revealed Amanda was nowhere to be found. Regina quickly grabbed her phone to call Amanda, but her daughter's device vibrated from its spot on the kitchen counter. Panic started to set in as she called around to the diner, Snow's, the pawn shop, and finally the sheriff station.

"Regina, calm down," Neal said as Regina cried into the phone. "I'm sure Amanda's fine." Once she was off the phone with Neal she heard the water running in the shower upstairs and breathed a sigh of relief.

Upstairs in the shower Amanda had the water as hot as possible, her mind attacking her with its thoughts. The scorching water did a decent job of hiding the tears running down her face but could not hide the shaking in her body.

 _It was my deal,_ she thought.  _Why'd you have to play the hero Ma? Why? Mom is hurting because you're not here. It should have been me to die._

When she finally opened her eyes the water was running cold and exhaustion was taking over. Amanda quickly finished up she got out, wrapping a tan terry cloth robe around herself and headed to her room. She laid her head down on her pillow, only intending to rest for a moment, before she passed out.

Regina made her way upstairs about ten minutes after she heard the water shut off. Normally, Amanda was just like Emma when it came to appetite. The past two weeks were anything but normal though. Regina and Emma had been getting used to having an empty nest for the past year; now Emma was gone and Regina was taking care of their youngest again.

She first stopped at the bathroom, not shocked that it still felt like a sauna. When it was obvious Amanda wasn't in there she headed for the bedroom. "Amanda," she called out as she knocked on the partially open door. "Breakfast is-" Regina trailed off as the door swung open, revealing the young woman asleep atop the bed. Regina wrapped her arms around herself as she leaned against the door frame and sighed. Archie had warned her that there would be a long road to mental recovery for Amanda, especially if she never forgave herself for Emma's death. Regina had done her share of cussing out Emma in the private space of their room, and though she was still upset that she left her so suddenly, she wished her wife could give their daughter peace with what happened. Even though she knew the sleep wasn't the most peaceful, any sleep Amanda was able to actually get was better than the sleepless days and nights Regina knew were happening.

**TNS-TNS-TNS**

Three weeks went by, and Amanda had upped her runs to both morning and night to try to get her mind clear. Outwardly she seemed to be improving; she was eating more (much to Regina's delight) and hanging out with Regina and Lacey more. Her mind was another matter. The increase in the runs flared up when she could no longer stop the voice telling her she was a burden.

She had pushed herself harder during an evening run and came upon the cliff along the trail. Amanda slowed to a stop, doubling over to catch her breath while listening to the river running far below.

 _They'd never know,_ her mind reacted as she eyed the cliff edge.  _If i simply went over the edge... make it look like I lost my footing and slipped..._ She stepped a bit closer to the edge.  _It should be you laying in that vault. You're just a burden to Mom._

Before she could step any closer Amanda felt someone grab her arm and pull her back. "Easy there, that ledge is unstable," Ruby said as she turned Amanda around to look at her.

"Thanks," Amanda said, ducking her head down in embarrassment.

"No problem." Ruby smiled at her as concern shone in her eyes. "It's good to see you out."

"Yeah?" Amanda nervously scratched her neck. "Guess I should stop by the diner soon, huh?"

"Only when you feel ready to," Ruby said. "Are you doing okay?"

Amanda hated everyone adding that question. She wanted to scream "No! I want my Ma back! I'm dying inside!" but instead she simply nodded and smiled. "I'm fine. I should be heading back home now," she said, pulling out of Ruby's grasp and starting her run back up on the trail.

She wasn't when paying attention to where she was running until she was standing in front of the Mills' family vault. A chill ran through her body, but it had nothing to do with the dropping temperature. Carefully she entered the vault and went down to the area that held Emma's body, the slot covered by a big plaque. It was the first time since the funeral that she'd been here.

Amanda drew in a shaky breath as her hand reached out, tracing over the letters 'Emma Swan-Mills'.

 _How dare you,_  she thought, trying to fight the tears forming and failing. "I hate you," Amanda whispered, and she felt something snap inside herself. "I hate you Ma. I hate you!" She started screaming, pounding on the plaque with her fists. "I hate you! Why'd you push me through that portal?! That wasn't your deal, it was mine! My choice! I hate you! You were supposed to come home! You're the Savior! I hate you! How dare you leave Mom?! Leave Alex and Henry?!" She sank to her knees against the wall, her energy spent. The exhaustion reflected in her quieted rough voice. "How could you leave me? How could you send me back without you?"

Regina stood in the doorway as she watched Amanda break down, screaming at Emma's tomb. She couldn't stop the tears silently streaming down her face. She felt the same way Amanda did, but seeing her daughter this distraught hurt her worse than her own anger towards her wife.

It wasn't until Amanda collapsed to both her knees that Regina stepped forward. "Amanda, sweetheart?" she called out. Amanda turned her head towards Regina. Her eyes were red and puffy, snot running down her face from the severity of sobs and it tore at Regina's heart to see the pain in Amanda's eyes.

"I miss her, Mom," Amanda said, her hoarse voice wavering with another round of tears. Regina quickly went Amanda's side and took the girl into her arms. "I miss her so much."

"I know," Regina said, holding her close as they cried together. "I miss her too."

"I miss her," Amanda repeated. "I miss Mama." Regina continued to hold her as she looked up, praying that the pain from their loss would go away quickly so they both could stop hurting so much. She knew that the coming months were going to be the hardest though. It would be the first holiday season the family would have without Emma.


	38. Chapter 38

Regina attended Amanda's next session with Archie, hoping to hash out some of her own pain from Amanda's outburst. Never once did she try to invalidate or deny Amanda's feelings. When Amanda stormed out of the office without warning, Archie stopped Regina from following her.

"She needs to be watched Regina," Archie warned. "With the holidays quickly approaching I know you have a lot on your mind as well, but we don't want an intentional repeat of a few weeks ago."

Regina bit her tongue from retorting back at the cricket, instead pulling herself free and heading down the stairs. As soon as she was out the door she saw Amanda leaning against the building with a cigarette in her mouth. "What are you doing?" she asked with a quirked eyebrow.

Amanda took a drag before answering. "What does it look like?"

"I'm not allowing that in my house," Regina said, pointing to the cigarette. Amanda dropped the half smoked cancer stick and squashed it with her foot.

"Fine by me. It's not as satisfying as a run anyways," Amanda said, turning on her heel and started running for the road leading to the forest running trail. Regina sighed as she watched her daughter take off.

"Rough day?" Snow asked as she approached Regina, her own eyes on the retreating figure of her granddaughter.

"Rough month," Regina said, turning towards Snow and giving her a small smile. "What can I do for you?"

"David and I were wondering if you were still planning on Thanksgiving at your place or if you want us to host this year." Snow pulled her jacket closer as a strong November wind blew past.

After taking a moment to think, Regina responded, "my house is bigger." Snow nodded. "I'm just worried."

"About Amanda?" Snow asked as they began walking towards the town hall.

"Partially. Mostly." Regina gave a dry chuckle. "I didn't know her depression was so deep. She truly is Emma's child."

"You saw that too, huh?"

"Most days Emma was fine, she had that wall about her. But sometimes, after a rough day of work, she'd come home and sit in her office, drinking with the lights off. She did that a lot after what happened to Alex."

"You were there for her though," Snow stated. "She always knew she had you and the kids to live for."

Regina stopped walking and Snow turned to her, setting the worry in Regina's eyes. "She always had a purpose. I'm afraid that Amanda lost her purpose though. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my baby girl."

**TNS-TNS-TNS**

Nearly an hour later Amanda walked into the diner and sat down at the counter, exhausted from her impromptu run. It helped her to distract her mind from the continuous guilt she felt, but now that her blood wasn't pumping as hard she was starting to go numb again.

"Were you burning something?" Ruby asked as she brought over the usual mug of cocoa. "I smell smoke." Amanda darted her eyes down to her hands.

"Doesn't matter," Amanda replied, ignoring the cocoa. Ruby continued to stare at Amanda until Lacey came bounding over.

"Hey gorgeous," Lacey greeted Amanda, giving her a kiss on the cheek. Both Ruby and Lacey noticed the slight flinch at the contract. "How are you doing today?"

"Splendid," Amanda deadpanned, causing Lacey to frown. She rubbed a hand on Amanda's back.

"Another meeting with Archie today?" Lacey questioned but knew the answer already.

"How'd you ever guess?" Amanda snarked, pulling out her cigarettes and putting one in her mouth.

"Nuh uh uh, not in my diner," Ruby scolded, snatching the pack out of Amanda's hand and the one out of her mouth. Amanda frowned at her. "Why are you smoking anyways?" Both brunettes watched as the blonde's shoulders sagged.

"I just want to feel something," Amanda admitted quietly. "Anything really."

"How long have you had these?" Lacey asked, wrapping an arm around Amanda's shoulders.

"Just a couple of days," she said, leaning into Lacey's shoulder. "I don't even like the taste of them. I just wanted to feel something other than what I've been feeling." Lacey looked up at her mother and they shared a look of worry that Amanda didn't see.

**TNS-TNS-TNS**

Thanksgiving came and went in Storybrooke. Amanda was there physically but barely participated in any conversations with the family. Ruby and Lacey even came over after they had closed the diner, but even Lacey's presence couldn't stimulate the young blonde.

The weather turned colder the closer it came to Christmas. Ice even formed in the harbor of town; not enough to stop boats but enough to cause glass-looking shards to build near the shore. With the colder weather Amanda was forced to find other distractions to her depression. Most of the days she could be found around her pawn shop.

She had been putting off cleaning the shop since the incident. She hadn't meant to, but it was a task that hadn't been on high priority. Since she really couldn't go running though without freezing herself, the shop was the next best distraction.

Many items had been returned to their original owners since Amanda acquired the shop, but just as many had been legitimately pawned to pay bills or their dark magic creeped the owner out. When she had been the Dark One Amanda was never bothered by such darkly-infused relics. Now being around them reminded her of what she used to be, what it cost her to be alive.

She hadn't used her magic actively since the day she woke up in the hospital. To Amanda, it was just another painful reminder of how she had lost Emma. She always was referred to as Emma's mini-me, doing a lot of things with her mother. Emma was the one to teach her self-defense, running the trails, and most of the outdoorsy things. Regina was the one to enforce rules, cook meals, and snuggle when Emma wasn't available. She was close to both of her mothers, but she and Emma had a special bond.

As she worked her way along in a back corner of the shop, a necklace box caught her attention. It was slightly dusty but Amanda recognized the deep purple color. Her hands shook as she took it off the shelf, sitting down heavily in the chair at her desk as she opened it, the memories from when she received the precious gift flooding her mind.

[FLASHBACK]

" _Oh Ma, it's gorgeous," Amanda exclaimed as she unwrapped the royal purple box. It was her birthday, the Sweet Sixteen, and she had just graduated high school the week before. As a celebration Emma and Regina took her out to Portland for a special dinner at Applebee's. It was the first birthday Amanda was having that it was just her and her moms. Alex had chosen to stay in Storybrooke._

" _Why don't you open it and see what's inside," Emma coaxed, stabbing into a piece of her steak._

_Amanda gasped as the silver necklace inside glinted in the light as she opened the case. "Oh moms…" Her eyes were wide as she ran her finger over the heart shape of the pendant. Inside the heart was a swan wearing a crown, a symbol Henry had deemed to fit their moms perfectly. "This is too much."_

" _Nah, it's perfect," Emma said around her bite of meat, causing Regina to roll her eyes._

" _It's a symbol that you can always wear to remind you of your family," Regina explained._

_Amanda lifted the necklace out of the box. "Do you like it?" Emma asked hesitantly._

" _I love it! Thank you!" Amanda got up and hugged her mothers tightly, then turned around as Emma took the necklace and clasped it around her neck._

" _Your mother picked out the design," Regina said and Amanda's hand rose to cover the pendant._

" _You'll always have my heart kid," Emma whispered to her daughter, and Amanda turned around, wrapping her arms around Emma's neck._

[END FLASHBACK]

Amanda's tears fell as she ran her fingers over the cool metal heart. She had been so happy that birthday. Emma had made her day with the gift. Though it technically was from both mothers, the fact that Emma had designed it meant the world to her. Now Emma was gone, never to give her another birthday or Christmas gift again. Christmas. Amanda sniffled hard and pulled open her desk drawer. Inside sat a perfect rectangular gift with a yellow ribbon on top. A long envelope holding the special license plates inside was underneath. She took the wrapped gift out and ran a finger along the edge.

Beneath the wrapping was the framed certificate declaring Emma's bug as a true antique car. Emma had taught all of the kids how to drive with the manual transmission vehicle despite Regina's complaints that it was a "deathtrap on wheels". Amanda had spent the last few years helping Emma return the car to its former glory. It had been completed in the early part of the year but Emma never got it registered herself. Amanda had snuck it out to Portland and had it officially inspected and registered over the summer. It was supposed to be the perfect gift. Amanda closed her eyes and slipped it back into the drawer.

 _You failed,_ she thought.  _You couldn't bring Emma back so you failed. You are nothing more than the failure of the family._ Amanda snapped the lid closed on the necklace box and put it, too, in the drawer and slammed the drawer shut. With a sigh she got up and left the shop, walking her way home.

**TNS-TNS-TNS**

The days passed in a haze and soon Christmas day was upon them. Henry had brought his family over the day before with a small tree they set up in the living room. The mansion wasn't as decorated as it usually was in the past because neither Amanda or Regina had the urge. Decorating for Christmas was always Emma's forte, always wanting to have it as festive as she could. Regina never could tell who was more excited, Emma or the children, when it came to Christmas day.

Everyone could feel that the spirit of the holiday was missing though without her. Snow and David came over early to help prep the dinner while Tiffany and her sister played with the toys they got from Santa. Neal and Alex came around close to dinner time and opened presents with the rest of the family.

Everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells around Amanda. Even Alex didn't know how to get through to her sister. So when the young blonde abruptly got up and walked out of the house it was no surprise that all breaths were held until the door closed.

Amanda hated the sorrow and the feeling like she just didn't belong with the family anymore. She swore she had seen her nieces look at her like it was her fault the holiday was ruined. In a way she felt it was.

She opened the door to the old bug sitting in the garage, the place she chose to escape to, and sat down behind the wheel. She squeezed her eyes shut but couldn't stop the tears from coming or the pain building in her chest. Releasing a shaky breath, she turned the key in the ignition just enough to turn on the radio. Apparently the last radio station Emma had been listening to was an old country one, and Amanda closed her eyes as she leaned her head back, letting the old music wash over her as she remembered the time she helped Emma plan a romantic date for Regina.

(song: strip it down by Luke Bryan)

[FLASHBACK]

_The bell chimed in the pawn shop, drawing Amanda from the back room where she was sitting at her desk._

_"Ma, hey, what can I do for you?" she asked as Emma came further into the shop. The older blonde looked downright nervous-a look Amanda rarely seen on her mother._

_"I'm not sure," she said as her eyes roamed the shelves of the shop. Now Amanda was worried._

_"Is Mom okay?" she asked._

_"What? Yeah, Mom's fine. I just wanted to take her out on a date and I don't know what to do," Emma confessed._

_"Did you forget her birthday again?" Amanda asked as a smirk played on her lips._

_"No! Jeeze, is no one going to forgive me for that one time?"_

_Amanda chuckled. "I believe you guys sending me and Alex to stay with Henry for a week proved you had been forgiven. What's the occasion?"_

_"Well, we've both been busy a lot lately and I just want to do something nice for her." Amanda nodded knowingly. Regina had just handed the mayoral office over to Snow a few months prior and it was a known fact in town that the first six months were a busy time of transition, even though they_ _had rotated office positions most of Amanda's young life._

_"Have you taken her out to Firefly Hill lately?" Amanda suggested._

_"No, but that is such a used spot," Emma argued. Amanda thought for a moment before she heard the music she had left playing on her phone from her office._

_"What about a country night?" Emma looked at her curiously. "Mom loves going to Grandma and Grandpa's farm a lot, so why not set up a table out in the back field with a dinner set up, some nice candles lighting the space. Maybe take a truck out there to dance in the headlights."_

_That's not a bad idea," Emma said. "Where would I get the truck from?" Amanda smiled._

_"Let me help you plan it out. You just need to wow Mom."_

_**TNS-TNS-TNS** _

_Amanda was all smiles as she made sure the table was set just right. Earlier she got the guy at the auto dealership to rent her one of the Chevy pickups with a floodlight bar attached. He almost didn't, but after being told one month of rent would be forgiven for renting her the shiny vehicle, he happily accepted. She had also lucked out with dressing Emma in a violet dress shirt with her nicest pair of skinny jeans and soft brown cowboy boots. Together they picked out a beautiful royal purple sundress with black heeled boots for Regina. Emma had also chosen a simple Alfredo dish that Amanda happily whipped up for her._

_Amanda had just gotten the candles lit in the mason jars when she saw the headlights of the truck coming._

Showtime _, she thought and poofed herself away for the evening._

_**TNS-TNS-TNS** _

_Regina was surprised. She hadn't expected that Emma was planning anything special for them, but when she came home and saw the dress laying on the table next to a single rose in a vase and a note saying "wear this for tonight" she couldn't wipe the smile off her face. She was even shocked when Emma rang the doorbell and presented her with a bouquet of roses, then led her out to the truck. The black vehicle was unknown to her, but Emma assured her it was only being borrowed as she helped her into it._

_As they approached the table set up in the field Regina gasped. It was a beautiful setting: candles lit on the table, wild flowers blooming all around. "Oh Emma," she breathed, at a loss for words._

_"Do you like it?" Emma asked nervously as she parked the truck._

_"It's beautiful. I love it." Emma smiled and Regina thought that as beautiful as the setting was, Emma's smiles were the most beautiful sight ever (next to their children when they were born of course). Emma got out and helped Regina down. The brunette couldn't help but wrap her arms around Emma's neck and pull her in for a deep but sweet kiss. "I love you."_

_"I love you too," Emma replied, getting lost in chocolate orbs filled with pure love. She escorted Regina to the table, pulling out the chair for her. Regina was amazed that there was even a base set down so they didn't sink into the ground. Emma uncovered their meals before sitting down herself. They enjoyed the delicious meal while lightly talking about how their days went. Once they were done Emma turned on the lights of the truck, rolled down the windows and put in the CD Amanda gave her. Regina watched her curiously until she came back. The soft tune and melodious sound of Luke Bryan pumped out of the truck as Emma offered her hand._

_"Will you allow me this dance Mrs. Swan-Mills?" she asked. Regina felt her heart flutter at the romantic gesture, taking Emma's hand and letting her lead her into the path of the lights. Emma wrapped her arms around Regina as Regina laid her had on Emma's chest and they swayed to the beat of the music._

_"This is nice," Regina said, feeling relaxed._

_Emma hummed in agreeance. "It is. And it's such a beautiful night, and we have the truck all night."_

_Regina pulled back a bit. "I'm not sleeping in a truck," she said._

_"Not even with an air mattress and lots of pillows and myself to protect you and keep you warm?" Regina couldn't help but chuckle at the pout that Emma sported. "We can fall asleep watching the stars."_

_Regina smiled at her wife. "Fine. As long as you are with me." Emma returned the smile._

" _I wouldn't have it any other way."_

[END FLASHBACK]

Regina's mind replayed the events of the night the song provoked. It was one of the last date nights she and Emma had, and she swore they broke the truck's shocks with their lovemaking.

She had come out to the garage to check on Amanda after she stormed out. They were all still very emotionally raw without Emma around. Seeing that her daughter was okay for now she quietly left the garage again to sneak back into the house.

**TNS-TNS-TNS**

After sitting in the garage until her butt was numb, Amanda turned the car back off and walked outside. A quick glance into the living room window revealed her brother and sister laughing about something with their grandparents and mother.

 _They're better off without you._ The thought made her wince and the ache build in her chest again. She turned away, shedding a tear as she turned away and started walking towards the pier.

Amanda stood at the edge of the docks, overlooking the waters in the harbor. It had been a while since the funeral, but no matter what, not even talking to Archie, helped ease the pain and guilt. The waters looked black in the mid-afternoon light. The cold wind bit through her jacket as if it was made of paper.

No one else was around, but that was typical for a Saturday, especially one that was a holiday. She was just tired of the alternating pain and numbness she constantly felt. She walked back to the bench near the start of the dock and took off her jacket, laying it over the back of the bench. She also made sure she took out everything in her pockets. It wasn't like she needed the money or phone with what she was going to do.

After making sure she was emptied, Amanda walked to the edge of the pier. She glanced into the glassy water and saw her empty reflection.  _No one should have to worry about my pathetic ass anymore_ , she thought before she stepped off the edge of the wood, sinking into the icy cold waters.

The shock of the temperature made her gasp and her body initially tried to fight for survival. She forced her body and mind to calm though as she felt the cold sneak into her body like tendrils of smoke.  _They are all better off with you gone,_ she thought as she inhaled the water and let unconsciousness take over.

**TNS-TNS-TNS**

David and Alex had decided to take a walk themselves through town shortly after Amanda had left the garage. The two were reminiscing about the past and things they used to do with Emma. Their path led them down towards the pier.

"Is that someone at the end of the dock?" David wondered out loud.

"It kind of looks like Amanda," Alex said, but before either could react the figure stepped off the end of the dock into the water. "Oh my god!" They both ran to the end of the dock to see if they could see the person but the darkness of the water prevented any sight.

"Call your uncle and the rescue squad," David barked out as he stripped down. "I'm going in." Before Alex could argue he dove headfirst into the water after whoever had jumped in. She quickly did as she was told, hanging up just as David surfaced with a body in tow.

Alex pulled the body first onto the dock then pulled David up as well. He rushed over to the unconscious body. "Amanda!" Alex screamed as she fell to her knees alongside her sister. Amanda's lips were blue and she wasn't breathing. Alex sobbed as David began chest compressions.

"Come on damnit," he growled as sirens could be heard approaching. "Don't you dare die on me." After a moment of chest compressions and blowing air into Amanda's mouth, the young blonde spit up water and started coughing.

Both David and Alex breathed a sigh of relief as Amanda breathed on her own. "You idiot," Alex screamed as she pulled Amanda's soaked and shivering body into hers.

"A-a-al-le-le-lex?" Amanda shivered out as the ambulance arrived. She didn't get a chance to respond as the rescue personnel swooped in and started first aid. Neal, who also showed up, helped David off the dock and to the squad car. Alex followed them, seeing Regina and Snow waiting at the side of the car as well. As Snow moved to David, Alex wrapped her arms around Regina. The older brunette held her eldest daughter close as the emergency responders whisked Amanda into the ambulance, along with David, and headed for the hospital.

Neal was right behind it, his mother, sister-in-law and niece with him. When they walked into the hospital moments later it was pandemonium. David was wrapped in a warm blanket while Amanda, still blue and shivering, fought the medical staff.

Alex watched from her mother's side and became angry enough to yell. "Enough!" Everyone paused to look at her, even Amanda. "I'm sick of this. I'm sick of fighting with you!" she screamed, pointing right at Amanda. "We lost Ma but no matter how much we tell you it's not your fault or that we don't blame you, you still make us suffer. I'm done. I'm done crying, I'm done worrying about you." She huffed at Amanda's shocked and shivering expression. "If you want to die and join Ma, fine, I don't care anymore. But think about her," Alex said, pointing at Regina. Amanda's eyes darted to their brunette mother, who had fat tears rolling down her cheeks. "Think about how much she has done for us, for  _you_ , these past months. Do you really want to hurt her that much? Are you that damn selfish?"

"No," Amanda whispered as her eyes remained locked with Regina's.

"Then I'm asking for her, not for anyone else, but for Mom's sake,  _stop trying to kill yourself._ "

Something snapped in Amanda and she started bawling, making the cold shivers worse. "I-I'm s-s-so-o-rrry mmmmom," she cried as her teeth violently chattered together, and the staff wrapped warmed blankets around her. Regina rushed forward and wrapped her arms around her baby. "I nnnevver mmmeannnt tttto hhhurt yyyou."

"It's okay, I forgive you," Regina replied. "I forgive you."


	39. Chapter 39

True to her word, Amanda stopped trying to give in to her guilt and grief. It was hard at first. Everything she did she felt like she was a failure yet. Little by little though she slowly pushed that thought to the back of her mind. Instead, she focused on being there more for her family and also for Lacey.

By mid-February she moved back into her apartment above the pawn shop and even opened the store. Regina made it a point to stop in every day for lunch. Amanda stopped trying to shove her away and Regina even noticed Amanda was smiling more, even though the smiles weren’t reaching her eyes. Regina considered it to be an improvement.

The one secret Amanda kept though was that although she wasn’t actively looking for ways to die anymore, she inwardly didn’t care if she lived or died. She didn’t want to cause any unnecessary pain to anyone, especially Regina or Lacey. The best way she could describe how she felt was numb. Her attitude outwardly improved, but everything still felt muted to her. It was a feeling Lacey could sense in her girlfriend, but anytime it was questioned Amanda blew it off.

With the improved attitude was also the increase of dates and hangouts the young couple had. Ruby threw a mini celebration at the diner not only for Amanda being more social but also as a thank you for worrying Lacey so much she quit dancing. Amanda felt bad for worrying her but was relieved her jealous side didn’t have to worry about the creeps at the club anymore. As far as intimacy went, there were many make out sessions and even nights sleeping in the same bed, wrapped in each other’s embrace, but Amanda couldn’t bring herself to the next level. Still, Lacey was content to wait.

It was late in April when Amanda had been strolling through town with her love when they smelled smoke. As they drew closer to the high school people were streaming out, coughing and stumbling, while flames flew out of the windows. Amanda and Lacey rushed forward and ran into Fredrick.

“Fred, what happened?” Amanda asked as she tried to help him. Sirens grew louder as emergency vehicles neared.

“Explosion,” he coughed out. “Science de-part-ment.”

“Are there more people inside?” Lacey asked, looking worriedly at the burning building.

“A few-“ cough “-kids, trapped in the classroom.” By then Fredrick succumbed to a coughing fit. Amanda and Lacey shared a worried look before Amanda took off for the building at a dead run.

“Amanda!” Lacey screamed but already the blonde pushed past the few people still getting out of the building and disappeared.

Once inside Amanda ducked low to try avoiding the billowing black smoke and made her way towards the science classrooms. She almost gave up because of the heat from the flames and the obnoxious smoke, but a whimper to her right made her beeline for one of the rooms. Holding her shirt over her mouth she called out to whoever was there. The cloth did little to block the smoke though.

Drawing up all of her strength, Amanda kicked the door in and the brief sight that caught her eye made her heart drop to her stomach. Her niece Tiffany and a classmate were huddled together, coughing from the smoke and covered in soot and blood. “Tiff!” Amanda screamed through the flames roaring around her. The girl looked up and was relieved for a moment to see her aunt.

“Amanda!” she yelled back, lunging into her aunt’s arms.

“Come on, we need to get out!” Amanda yelled, pushing the kids in front of her towards the exit. Amanda heard a groan from the support beams as the building continued to be consumed by the flames. With a mighty push she shoved them forward just before a beam broke loose and hit her in the head, knocking her out.

**TNS-TNS-TNS**

Lacey watched as firefighters sprayed water on the building. The last few people darted out a moment after Amanda had darted in. She worried her bottom lip as her eyes never left the door, wishing to see Amanda dart back out.

“Lacey!” Neal shouted as he ran up to her. “What are you doing here?”

“Amanda and I were walking when we smelled smoke,” she explained to the sheriff. “We came over to see if we could help.”

Neal looked around before turning back to her. “Where is my niece?”

“She ran inside when Fredrick said some kids were trapped,” Lacey answered, the fear heavy in her voice. “She hasn’t come back out yet.”

“Damnit,” he growled, darting off to the firetruck and grabbing a mask and air tank. No one noticed as he ran for the doors. Just as he was about to dart in Tiffany and her friend came out coughing. “Tiffany!” Neal exclaimed, grabbing her and pulling them towards an ambulance. “Tiff, how’d you get out?”

“Amanda,” she coughed as an EMT grabbed her.

“Where is she?” he asked. Tiffany’s eyes went wide as she looked around.

“She was right behind us,” Tiffany said, panicking. Neal’s shoulders dropped as he looked back towards the burning building.

Muttering another curse, he ran back towards the doors and plowed through them as he strapped the mask on. Once he had a flow of clean oxygen he used his magic to clear the smoke out of the way of his vision. He wasn’t as talented in magic as Emma had been, but he had a basic grasp on it. He frowned at the thought of his magic. _Amanda also has magic,_ he thought. _So why isn’t she using it?_  He pushed forward, following his gut, towards the science wing. He nearly turned away when he saw the path was caved in but just as he was turning away a figure caught his attention. “Amanda,” he gasped, darting towards her prone body.

Luckily she wasn’t pinned, but he still had to pull her forward and the heat from the burning beams around her burned his arms as he grabbed her. He hissed from the pain as her body came forward and he wondered how she was not burned up. Her clothes were singed and burned but otherwise she looked okay. His mind was still reeling from thoughts of how and why she wasn’t injured more as he felt for a pulse, but once he found it he picked her up bridal style and hurried from the building.

As he emerged he heard Lacey’s screams but he didn’t stop until he laid his niece down on a waiting gurney. As the EMT saw to his burned arms he was ushered into the ambulance as well. Lacey barely made it inside the doors before they were shut and the vehicle rushed off towards the hospital.

**TNS-TNS-TNS**

Lacey paced outside of Amanda’s room as Regina approached. Henry had called her and said that Tiffany was in the hospital due to the fire and she had been on her way to see her granddaughter when the hospital called to inform her Amanda had been admitted by ambulance.

As she drew closer she could hear Neal in the next room over grumbling obscenities and groaning in pain. Henry was with Grace and Tiffany across the hall. “How is she?” Regina asked as she neared Lacey. The young brunette looked up and the tears in her eyes made Regina’s heart clench.

“They patched the gash on her head but she hasn’t woken up yet,” Lacey said as they looked through the window. Inside the room Amanda laid in the hospital bed, head wrapped in white gauze and attached by wires to machines. It was a scene that Regina had hoped she never had to see again.

“Mom?” Henry said as he stepped out of the other room and hugged her.

“How’s Tiffany?” she asked as she pulled back. Henry gave a small sad smile.

“She’s good. A few knicks and burns. They have her on oxygen for smoke inhalation.” His eyes darted to his sister. “Tiff says she saved her.”

Regina frowned at the news. When she got the call saying Amanda had been admitted she thought her daughter went back on her promise. “What do you mean?”

“She ran right into the building,” Lacey explained. “Right after Fred said there were kids still trapped.”

“Whale says if she hadn’t rescued her, Tiff and her friend would have died.”

“She does take after Emma,” Regina said. “Your mother always had to be the hero too.”

“And rescuing people from burning buildings,” Henry said, smirking at Regina as he hugged her.

**TNS-TNS-TNS**

Amanda couldn’t believe her eyes. She stood in the sterile hospital room looking at her own body. Her eyes traced the wires leading to the monitors and reached for her own head as she spotted the bandages on the body in front of her. There was nothing there though. A glance down revealed she was wearing her usual jeans and tee but the body on the bed had a hospital gown.

The door clicked as it opened and both Regina and Lacey entered. “Mom, Lace, thank god you’re here,” Amanda sighed as they approached the bed. “What the hell is going on?” Instead of responding they looked at the body in the bed. “You guys,” she tried again, but was still ignored. “Mom.” She reached for Regina and gasped as her hand passed right through her arm. “Mom?”

“They can’t hear you,” a male voice said, causing Amanda to spin around. The guy gave her a tentative smile despite his somewhat scruffy appearance.

“Who are you?” she asked, trying to figure out why he looked familiar. “Did you do this to me?”

“No,” he laughed. “A falling beam in the school did that.” He gestured to the body. “Name’s Neal. And no, you’re not dead. Just currently unconscious.”

“Neal?” Amanda questioned as she approached him. “You’re not my uncle.”

The man chuckled again. “You’re right, I’m not. I think I’d be more of a step-dad to you. I’m Henry’s father.”

Amanda frowned more. “But you’re dead.”

“Yep.”

“And I’m not.”

“No. Not yet.”

“Not yet? What’s that supposed to mean?” Neal nodded to the body that suddenly flatlined. A nursing team rushed in, forcing Regina and Lacey out as the medical staff revived the body. “You’re trying to kill me now?”

“No. But you are in a unique situation.”

“What do you mean?”

“Have you ever seen the Christmas Carol?”

“Emma made it a Christmas movie staple for years,” Amanda scoffed.

“Well, I’m like your ghost of Christmas past.”

“What, are you going to show me my past evil deeds?” she snarked.

“Actually, no. I’m going to remind you of all the good you did.” The scene changed a bit, the person sitting in the bed was Emma and she looked exhausted yet beamed at the pink bundle in her arms. “The day you were born.” Regina walked in and Emma looked up at her with a huge smile. “The first day you brought joy into their lives.”

“Hey mama,” Emma greeted Regina and Amanda smiled as Regina leaned down to kiss her wife. “Look at our beautiful girl.”

Regina grinned back as she sat on the bed next to Emma and pulled down the blanket around the baby’s face. “She’s gorgeous Emma. She looks just like you.”

“We made her,” Emma marveled. Amanda chuckled as she watched the scene.

“You were very cute,” Neal said as the sweet scene changed. Amanda watched as her younger self learned how to walk, talk, ride a bike, and other progressions flipped by. “You were a fast learner. Your mothers were always proud of you.”

“Why are you showing me this?”

“You recently felt like a disappointment, right?” Neal took the silence as confirmation. “This is to show you they were never disappointed in you. You and your siblings are the reason Emma and Regina smiled more and loved more.”

“Doesn’t mean I didn’t let them down. I am still the reason Emma’s dead.”

Neal sighed. “No, you’re not. Regardless of the deal you made, it was her choice to ultimately save you. Any parent would give their life for their kids. You need to understand that.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “You need to stop punishing yourself because you are hurting those that you love too.” With that he disappeared and Amanda was back to looking at her body with Lacey laying on the left side of the bed, farthest from the machines. Amanda neared the bed and looked at the tear tracks on Lacey’s face. The young woman’s eyes were locked on the physical face of Amanda while her right hand traced absent patterns on the thin cloth covered chest.

“You can’t die on me Amanda,” she heard Lacey say quietly. “You just can’t. Not like this. You finally were coming out of your dark hole.”

“It still tries calling me back,” Amanda said but knew her girlfriend couldn’t hear her like this.

“I know you still miss Emma. The whole town does,” Lacey continued, snuggling her head onto the shoulder. “That doesn’t mean you can join her in death though. I-I love you damn it.” Lacey wiped a stray tear away. “I know we said it a few times, but I mean it. I love you. I’m feeling lost without you. You’re my best friend, my girlfriend.” Amanda smiled sadly at the scene. “I haven’t told you, or anyone really, but I want to be your wife. I know,” Lacey chuckled quietly while Amanda started to feel panicked. “Hospital bedside secret confessions to the comatose.”

“Oh Lacey,” Amanda sighed, feeling tears prickle at her eyes. She reached out to wipe the tears but her hand went straight through Lacey’s body.

“I don’t care how long I have to wait,” she said, still oblivious to the spirit in the room. “I’ll wait forever if I have to though. I love you Amanda May Swan-Mills. Just please wake up.” A knock at the door caused Lacey to turn over and Amanda to look up as the door opened.

Regina entered the room and Amanda noted how tired and exhausted her mother looked. Her face was bare of even the most basic makeup. “Hello Lacey, any change in our girl?”

Lacey shook her head as she sat up. “I’m scared Regina.” Regina opened her arms and Lacey went into the embrace. Amanda watched as two of the most important people in her life comforted each other.

“Oh my darling girl,” a woman’s voice reached Amanda’s ears and the young blonde turned to face her. The older woman was looking at Regina with sadness in her eyes. “I wish I could ease the pain you’re feeling.” Amanda took in her appearance, the simple black blazer over dark grey blouse and black slacks reminding her of Regina’s outfits for the mayor’s office. Her shoulder length brunette hair held hints of red and silver.

“Who are you?” Amanda asked and was a little unsettled when familiar-ish chocolate orbs shifted to her.

The woman sighed and clasped her hands in front of herself. “I guess I shouldn’t be offended you don’t know me, child. It’s kind of hard to be a grandmother when you’re dead.”

Amanda’s brow furrowed a bit in anger. “I know the stories of you, Cora. Why are you here?”

Cora sighed again and let her eyes drift back over to Regina, who had released Lacey from the hug and was now by Amanda’s body’s head. Amanda watched as her mother brushed a few strands of blonde hair back from the bandage. “I’m here because my little girl is hurting. It’s because of you, child.”

Amanda blanched, remembering how she had seen Regina cry at the hospital at Christmas, before remembering the stories of abuse Cora had inflicted. “That may be true, but I’m not as bad as you,” she growled.

Cora looked at Amanda with a bored expression. “I’m not going to fight that. In fact, I’ll own up to it. I was a heartless bitch, both literally and figuratively.” Amanda cocked an eyebrow in shock. All stories she heard, Cora Mills never would have admitted that. “I’m sure you know how I died?”

“Grams cursed your heart before giving it to Mom,” Amanda recited the memory of the story. “Once Mom returned it, the curse took effect.” Cora smiled and nodded.

“All of Regina’s life I was without my heart, and I’ve regretted that so much since I died. You’re lucky. She gave you everything her heart could give because she kept hers.” They stood in silence as Regina pulled a chair next to the bed and sat down. Amanda noticed Lacey’s absence and figured her girlfriend went to find food.

“So are you here to tell me how much I royally fucked Mom’s life over?”

Cora tisked. “Such a mouth on someone so young. No. I mostly came to be near Regina, but also to tell you not to let fear of love make you make stupid decisions. I removed my heart so I didn’t have to feel love so much, thinking that love was a weakness. I know better now. Love is strength.”

“That’s what everyone says.”

“They’re right. It was love that created the bond between your mothers, made you and your sister possible. I wish I could have been there for you girls, for your family. Especially for my Regina. Do try to take care of her for me.” With that Cora vanished and Amanda was left a little confused.

“I never meant to hurt you Mom,” Amanda said as she watched Regina be tender. “I swear.” Amanda stepped closer to the bed but hesitated from reaching for her own body.

“You need to wake up baby,” Regina said in a near whisper. “You promised me you wouldn’t give up this easily.” She wiped a few tears off her face and Amanda’s guilt rose. “You know, when I got the call from the hospital I feared that you turned back on your promises. Then I was hearing the stories that you were a hero, and I couldn’t have been prouder of you.” She paused her speech and ran her hand over golden locks. “I’m also so scared because you are so much, so very much, like your mother. You are both so reckless but you both have the biggest hearts I ever knew. It’s because you’re so much like Emma that I haven’t broken like everyone thought I would. My sweet Amanda, you need to wake up from this. I don’t think I could survive losing you too.”

Tears shone in Amanda’s eyes at Regina’s confession. She clenched her eyes shut tight, not wanting to show her emotions despite not actually being able to be seen. When she opened them again she was no longer in the hospital room Instead she was looking over the pond at the park. The sun shone brightly from high above and a few ducks swam near the cattails off to the left. A slight breeze blew a few strands of hair into her face.

“You used to love coming here to feed the ducks,” Emma’s voice carried through the air and Amanda’s eyes went wide in shock.

“Ma?” Amanda said, unsure of her own ears. A hand gently settled on her right shoulder and she cautiously turned. There Emma stood, her hair shining like gold in the sunlight and green eyes filled with love. Amanda threw herself into her mother’s arms, not caring if her tears now spilled onto the iconic red jacket. “I missed you.”

“I know kid, I missed you too,” Emma softly said as she held her daughter close. Once Amanda calmed down Emma led them to a nearby bench to sit.

Amanda looked at her mother in confusion. “How are you even here?” she asked. “I thought the deal was-”

“Never mind that,” Emma interrupted. “I don’t have much time left before you have to make a decision.”

“What decision?”

“If you’re going to go back home.” Emma pushed a few strands of hair off Amanda’s face and behind her ear. “I’m going to tell you that you need to go back though. Your mom needs you, kid.”

“She needs you Ma,” Amanda argued. Emma smiled softly and shook her head.

“No. You’re too young to die now. You have so much to live for and do in your life. Your destiny still awaits you.”

“What does that mean?”

“You’ll understand someday kid.” Emma grasped Amanda’s shoulders and looked her in the eye. “I love you. I will always love you. So does your Mom. Don’t make her suffer anymore please.”

“I’ll try not to.” Amanda couldn’t fight her emotions anymore and wrapped her arms around Emma again. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I know, but I have to. You need to go home now Amanda. Don’t try to join me here again, okay?” Amanda nodded and pulled back, her eyes locked on Emma’s. “I love you.”

“I love you too Ma,” Amanda said, closing her eyes as Emma leaned forward and kissed her forehead. The next thing Amanda knew was there was a heaviness of all over her body and the beeping of machines were ringing in her ears. As she tried to open her eyes she felt someone squeezing her hand.

“Amanda?” Regina said, her voice coming in clear even over the beeping machines. “Amanda, can you hear me?”

As her eyes cracked open the lights in the hospital room seemed to be too bright and there was a pounding pain coming from the top of her head. She squeezed the hand that was holding hers and a short burst of breathy laughter rang through the room. Slowly, as the room came into focus, she shifted her eyes to look at Regina who was beaming at her. “Mom,” Amanda breathed out, barely able to say the word from lack of use.

“Take it easy sweetheart,” Regina said as she pressed the call nurse button. “You were out for a while.”

“How long?” Amanda asked quietly as the nurse came in and started doing her checks.

“Two, three days I think,” Regina answered as the nurse marked the charts off in the computer. “You gave us a scare.”

“Flatlined,” Amanda recollected, her voice growing a little stronger. The nurse and Regina shared a surprised but confused look.

“Yes, you flatlined,” Regina said. “How did you know that?”

Amanda slightly shook her head but the movement made the pain worse. “Water?” she asked instead of answering. Again Regina looked to the nurse but this time in permission.

“I’ll get you some ice chips,” the nurse said and left the room.

“I’m just so glad you woke up,” Regina said, looking back at Amanda. “You took quite a hit to the head. The town is hailing you a hero though.”

“I’m no hero,” Amanda rasped out.

“I’d beg to differ,” Tiffany’s voice called out as she entered the room with Henry. “You saved mine and Calvin’s life.”

“We overheard the nurse say she was awake,” Henry said as he kissed Regina on the cheek. “How are you feeling sis?”

“Like I was hit in the head,” Amanda responded in her usual sass. The nurse returned with the ice chips and handed the cup to Regina. Regina set it down and helped Amanda sit up so she could eat a couple of the chips.

“I’m sorry you got hurt Auntie.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” Amanda said around a chip in her mouth as she looked at Tiffany. “Now that you all know I’m going to live, can I get a little peace and quiet? My head still hurts and I would like to rest.” Both Henry and Tiffany gave her small hugs and left the room. Regina refused to leave. “Mom, go home, get some sleep. You look dead on your feet.”

“I’m fine,” Regina tried to argue.

“Mom, I know you. You haven’t left my side since I came in. I promise I’m fine. You need to take care of yourself.” Regina finally relented, her exhaustion finally getting to her. She gave Amanda a kiss on the forehead.

“Just for a little bit,” she promised. Amanda gave her a small tired smile. “I’m sure Lacey will be in soon anyways.”

“Go,” Amanda urged again. “I love you.”

Regina paused at the door and looked back at her daughter. “I love you too.” With that she left the room and Amanda was left to process everything that had been running through her head.

**TNS-TNS-TNS**

**_Fifteen Years Earlier_ **

George cringed as he got out of his car in front of the beat down trailer home. He couldn’t believe it when Gold had contacted him with an address. George had been adamant that he no longer had any children but the Imp was persistent that he did have a newborn. After everything that had happened in the Enchanted Forest with his late wife being barren, he was sure he was never going to have another child again. James, despite being gained through the deal originally made with Rumpelstiltskin, was the best son he could have asked for. Then he had to go and get himself killed and the shepherd had to take his place. George sighed to himself as he climbed the rickety stairs to the door. There was no place anymore for him to dwell on the past. He had tried to get his revenge and had failed.

The knock on the door spurred a dog somewhere in the back of the lot to start barking and George curled his lip. Sure, he had been drunk that night he slept with the prostitute, but he never thought anything would have came out of it. If he did have a child… His eyes darted up as a young woman answered the door with a baby in her arms.

“Can I help you?” she asked him. He noted the weary look in her eyes.

“I was sent here by Mr. Gold,” George said. The girl nodded and turned.

“Come in. I’m sorry the place isn’t kept up like your castle was, but it’s what I have for now,” the girl said as he followed her into the house.

“You remember me?” George asked, not completely unsurprised. It had been some years since the curse had been broken, but a lot of people were known to repress the memories of the Forest.

“Of course, your Majesty. It’s hard to forget Prince James’ father.” George cringed at his fallen son’s name but the girl never noticed, too absorbed into the baby in her arms. “I take it you would like to take possession of your son?”

“How do you know that thing is mine?” he asked coldly. The girl cringed.

“Rumpelstiltskin performed magic over the babe, determined it was yours.” She meekly looked up at the old former king. “He said that he could lead a great revolt if raised to do so.”

George eyed the babe a little closer now. Though he had failed to bring down David and Snow, the thought of destroying their perfect little life was an entertaining idea. After all, the fake prince did steal away his kingdom’s honor and wealth. “Does anyone else know of the lad’s parentage?”

“No, your Majesty. And even knowing it now, I wouldn’t spread the rumors.”

George smiled, a plan already forming in his head. “Well then, you and the boy will grow older, wanting not. I will provide everything you need so long as you stay here and raise him in secret.”

The girl smiled a bit at the thought. “Will you be around for his upbringing as well, my King?”

George chuckled. “I have much to teach him, so yes. Tell me, what did you name him?”

“Derek, my King. The boy’s name is Derek.” George finally held out his arms and took the babe.

“Well then, Prince Derek, I shall help you grow to reclaim your lost kingdom.”


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So this chapter is done. I know, took me long enough. Anywho, just wanted to give you guys a heads up that once you get to the last bit, if you want to know my inspiration, it was Remember Everything by Five Finger Death Punch. Good song, I just felt like that song embodied exactly how Amanda felt as she was driving away from everything. I’m not overly happy with the smut scene either, but it was what I could come up with.
> 
> I'm sorry for any delays or whatnot with this story. I am working on it, I promise. It is just slow going right now.

Amanda was a little more fidgety since she left the hospital. Everything she was told in what she considered a dream state weighed heavily in her mind. She didn’t want to be the cause of hurt for anyone, she didn’t know what the talk of destiny unfulfilled was. She didn’t really want to be anyone but herself anymore. Anytime anyone asked her why she was fidgety or a little scatter brained she would laugh and say that it must be the after effects from being hit in the head.

Lacey made it a point to hang around the shop more just after Amanda’s release. Amanda appreciated it, but still had no way of knowing how to deal with what she heard Lacey confess to her when she was unconscious. So Amanda did what she had trained herself to do when she was the Dark One, she ignored it.

Ignoring only went so far though. When she was alone, especially at night, all Amanda could think about was Emma’s words to her, that her “destiny still awaits”, not to mention that she felt that everyone gave her disappointing or sad looks every time they looked at her. It hurt her heart to think that she was still causing those that she loved pain. Without telling anyone, she made the decision to leave Storybrooke. She gave herself the deadline of her birthday, nearly a month and a half away, to get everything set up so the shop would be taken care of and that she had supplies for herself to go for an undetermined amount of time.

**TNS-TNS-TNS**

Amanda awoke with a groan as she rolled over at the scent of bacon and coffee floating through her apartment. A glance at the still pulled window curtains revealed the sun was just rising in the sky. “Lace, what are you doing here so early?” she asked through a yawn as she got up, her voice still scratchy from sleep. “Don’t you know I like to sleep in already?”

“You get that trait from your mother,” Regina said as Amanda entered the kitchen area. She blinked a few times before she realized who was truly in her kitchen.

“Morning Mom,” she said with a hint of surprise and Regina chuckled at her.

“Morning dear,” Regina greeted back, handing her daughter a cup of coffee. “Happy birthday.”

“Yeah,” Amanda said, still waking up as she inhaled the strong aroma of the dark liquid. “That.”

“Sit, I’ll bring you a plate.” Amanda did as she was told, sitting at her small kitchen table as Regina plated up scrambled eggs and bacon, placing two slices of toast on the side and brought it over.

“Is there a reason you are here this early?” Amanda asked as the coffee started kicking in. She was grateful she had chosen to sleep in her basketball shorts and a tank top last night.

“I can’t just come and start my day off with my daughter on her birthday?” Regina asked as she went back to get her own plate of food.

“See, I thought I’d sleep in until about noon and then meet up with you at Granny’s for lunch,” Amanda said as she grabbed a piece of bacon and nibbled on it. “You know, like I usually did.”

Regina chuckled again. “Emma did spoil you with that,” she said, and Amanda picked up the hint of sadness that always came with her other mother’s name. “I always wanted to start the day off bright and early with you kids, making you a good breakfast.”

“You do have two other kids in town you could go and make breakfast for,” Amanda said with a smirk. “I’m sure Grace would love if you made them all breakfast every once in a while.”

Regina raised a brow. “Who says I don’t?” Amanda shrugged and sipped on her coffee again. “I just wanted to start your day off right.”

Amanda gave her a small sympathetic smile. “Well thank you Mom,” Amanda said. “Really.” She dug into her eggs as Regina also started eating her food. Amanda could see out of the corner of her eye that Regina still looked a little sad. It was always a family event for everyone’s birthdays, and Emma was usually the one to make the biggest celebration of it all. When she was asked one time why that was, Emma explained that it was because she never go to celebrate her birthdays growing up in the foster system. Since them no one denied celebrating their birthday.

“So what are you planning on doing today?” Regina casually asked.

“Well my plan had been to meet up with you and Lacey around noon at the diner,” Amanda said. “But since you woke me up early with this delicious breakfast, I think I might get some cleaning done in the shop before lunch.”

“Do you need any help?” Regina asked, a hopeful look in her eye. Amanda froze with her fork halfway to her mouth as she looked at Regina in surprise. She had actually hoped to spend the time making sure the stuff she had in the trunk of her car was packed (even though she checked it all the night before) and make sure she had enough cash on hand to survive at least a year away from Storybrooke without much hassle or want. “I can do some dusting for you in the cases.”

“Uh, no, no, that’s not necessary Mom, really,” Amanda said, forcing a nervous smile on her face. “I was just going to, uh, do some sweeping and then just go back over the books again.”

“You and your books,” Regina shook her head. “I’m glad that you got that accounting degree being put to good work.”

“It’s a certificate, Mom,” Amanda said, shoving the last of her eggs into her mouth. “It was beneficial for me with the shop and owning basically the Bank of Storybrooke.”

Regina shook her head again as Amanda talked around the food in her mouth. Some habits died hard. “Still, we always knew you had the knack for math and inventory.” That was one thing that they all agreed on.

“Yeah, who knows what I would have been doing if I hadn’t gotten the curse,” Amanda joked a little. “Maybe on the outside I would have been a cop or something.”

“CEO of a bank most likely,” Regina said. “You never were one for really going to the station to help your mother with completing reports.” Amanda and Regina fell into a silence as they remembered Emma.

“Really Mom, I’ll be fine,” Amanda said after a little bit. “You know what I would like?” Regina seemed to perk up at the question.

“What’s that dear?”

“I’d like some of your classic lasagna for supper please,” Amanda said, smiling sweetly at Regina. Regina smiled back at her.

“Of course sweetheart. Anything for the birthday girl.” Regina rose and took both of their plates to the sink. She brought the pot of coffee to the table and topped Amanda’s cup off, then kissed her daughter on the head. “Why don’t you get dressed for the day and I’ll clean up.”

“Okay, thanks again Mom,” Amanda said as she rose and headed for the bedroom. Once inside she closed the door and sighed. It was hard for her to face Regina when her guilt still ate at her. No matter how much everyone said it wasn’t her fault, Amanda still felt responsible. Setting the mug of coffee down on her dresser with a sigh, she pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and a dark blue tee that showed off her athletic body. As she slipped on the jeans she scowled at herself at the slight snugness of them. She was by no means fat in any way, but over the past few months she hadn’t pushed herself with her fitness like she used to. Amanda blamed that on the depression she constantly felt.

Once she was dressed, hair brushed, and had slipped on a black pair of combat boots she favored, she grabbed her mug and walked back out. “Do you still want to meet up for lunch at Granny’s?” Regina asked, and Amanda could see the hopeful look in her eyes, so she forced a smile.

“Yeah,” she said easily. “It’s tradition, right?” Regina came up to her and kissed Amanda’s cheek.

“I love you,” she said before she turned to grab her purse and keys off the counter. “I’ll see you at noon.”

“See you,” Amanda called after her as Regina left the apartment. Once the door closed Amanda sighed and dropped the smile. She set the mug on the table and went to the cupboard that had a small duffle bag under the sink and pulled it out. Once she set it on the counter she opened it up and eyed the stacks of money she had sitting inside. It was close to three quarters of a million dollars, barely a dent in the money she had sitting in the bank and shop. She alone owned over three quarters of the town due to it originally being owned financially by Gold before he died, and he had put most of it into documents saying the successor would be the owner of Gold’s Pawn Shop. That was quite a find to discover those documents. Amanda smirked as she thought about how everything was manipulated so the Dark One would own the town. The smirk fell though as she remembered that she was no longer the Dark One. She had been trying to slowly releasing the hold she had over everything to rightful owners as debts were paid and fulfilled. Only a few were able to do it so far.

With a nod she zippered the bag back up and set it back in its hiding spot, not trusting so much money to be sitting in the trunk of her car quite yet. _Just a few more hours,_ she told herself. _Let them have one last good memory of you. Just smile and act happy._ With that thought she closed the cupboard door, grabbed her keys, and walked down to the shop to do her spot cleaning.

**TNS-TNS-TNS**

Lunch time rolled around and Amanda did indeed meet up with Regina for lunch. Lacey was just getting off her shift when Amanda came in and sat down with the mother and daughter pair, planting a big kiss on Amanda’s lips in greeting. They joked around and reminisced about better days for a while before breaking up until everyone was supposed to meet at Regina’s for the birthday dinner. Amanda did everything she could to try to stay in a good mood.

Amanda had gone back to her apartment for a little while, just playing on her phone and killing time before she headed to the manor. She decided as she stepped outside that it was a beautiful night and decided to walk. She mostly wanted to take in the sights and sounds of her home before she took off later. As she made her way closer to the mansion she noticed just about everyone was already there and checked her phone. Regina had said dinner was going to be at six, and it was only five thirty. She sighed sadly for a moment before plastering on a smile and walking through the front gate. She hadn’t even made it completely to the door before Lacey was outside and leaping into her arms.

“Lace,” Amanda laughed as she caught her girlfriend. She could hear her family talking and laughing inside the house. “You just saw me a few hours ago.”

“Quit hogging the birthday girl,” Henry’s voice floated out as he came to the open door. Lacey laughed, kissing Amanda soundly before grabbing her hand and leading her in. Henry quickly grabbed his little sister and hugged her close. “Happy birthday,” he told her.

“Thanks Hen,” she replied, trying to commit to memory his hug without trying to give away that she was nervous as all get out. If it came off as such though, he would probably just chalk it up to the party. When he pulled back she walked the rest of the way into the house where she was greeted by everyone else. Hugs and kisses were given in spades, but each one sent a pang into Amanda’s heart as she knew she would break their hearts a bit with her leaving. She just couldn’t stand it anymore.

At the dinner table Regina had insisted that she sit next to her, and Lacey was by Amanda’s side like white on rice. Everyone shared their stories of Amanda in her younger years, causing much laughter to float around. She allowed herself the pretend that she wasn’t going to leave, that this was just one of many more birthdays to be had with her family. Quite a few times Regina reached over and grabbed her youngest’s hand, giving it a squeeze.

As the night started to wear down Amanda made the comment that she was getting tired and sought her mother out to say goodbye. She found her outside in the little grove of apple trees they had planted in the back yard. “I still remember the day that your mother and I found out we were pregnant with you,” Regina said, not bothering to turn as Amanda came up to her side. It was a story she had only heard a few times, but this time she tried to commit it to memory. “Emma had found out actually before I did. She felt the symptoms of the pregnancy before she even did the test. You apparently wanted to annoy her with quick morning sickness.” Regina chuckled at the memory. “The way she told me was by planting the last tree in the grove here.” She reached out and stroked the youngest of the trees. “That night she brought me out here in the moonlight and showed it to me.” Regina turned then to face Amanda, a soft loving look in her eyes only a mother could have. “Every day that I look at you, you remind me so much of her. Not just in looks either, though you do have that going. You are just so much like Emma…” Regina trailed off, hugging her daughter close. Amanda hugged her tight as well, knowing this was going to be the last time in a long time, if ever, she was going to be able to do so.

“I love you Mom,” she said, nuzzling into her mother’s neck and committing her scent to memory. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Ladybug. And I know Emma loves you too.” Amanda tensed slightly at the mention of Emma again, but she used it to hug Regina a little tighter before letting go.

“Well I just wanted to find you and let you know I’m heading home. I’m kinda tuckered out,” Amanda managed to say with her fake smile plastered on her face. Regina’s small smile slipped a little. “Thanks for everything today Mom.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to send some lasagna home with you?” Regina asked, trying to delay her daughter’s leaving.

Amanda shook her head. “That’s okay. It’ll just give me a reason to come over tomorrow.” The lie hurt, but not as much as the sparkle that appeared in Regina’s eyes.

“Okay. I’ll- I’ll see you tomorrow then sweetheart. Be safe.”

“Will do, Mom. Love you.” Amanda gave her one last hug and a kiss to the cheek before going around the side of the house to leave. She was already struggling to keep her emotions in check with Regina, she didn’t need to see everyone else and lose it before she could escape. Especially with Lacey.

As she walked home she kept telling herself the mantra that this was for the best, that they would survive without her. She was so wrapped in her thoughts that she never noticed the figure tailing her until she got up to her front door and felt the hands on her hips and lips on her neck. Only one person would dare to touch her so openly, and it was the last person Amanda wanted to see this night.

“You left without saying goodbye to me,” Lacey purred into her ear.

“I’m sorry,” Amanda moaned lightly as Lacey licked the shell of her ear.

“That’s okay,” Lacey stated. “I have been dying to give you your present all night.”

“Lace, I told you not to give me anything,” Amanda groaned, managing to center herself enough to unlock her door and open it. Lacey slipped in front of her and ran her hands over Amanda’s muscular abs.

“My gift to you isn’t anything your family would want to see.” Her voice was sultry, eyes full of mischievous lust. Amanda knew now what her girlfriend wanted to do. This wasn’t part of her plan. She was supposed to slip into the apartment, grab the bag under the counter, and go. Looking at how good Lacey looked in the low cut tee and skinny jeans, her eyes full of lust and love, Amanda let herself be roped into whatever her girlfriend wanted, even if it was for the last time. If she was to surrender herself fully to anyone, she wanted it to be Lacey.

Amanda leaned in slowly, her hand wrapping around the back of Lacey’s neck and pulling her gently to her lips. The kiss deepened quickly, passion pouring out of both young women. “Lace,” Amanda groaned as the brunette nipped at her lip, pulling her backwards to the bedroom. The look they shared as they looked into each other’s eyes was nothing but love. Slowly, sensually, clothes were removed as kisses trailed over exposed flesh. Fingers trailed over breasts and abs, through hair that fell loose.

Amanda spun them and threw Lacey on the bed. “Amanda, this is supposed to be about you,” the brunette complained slightly as Amanda crawled above her. The blonde just smirked.

“Who’s to say I’m not enjoying my present though?” she asked as she dipped her mouth to her girlfriend’s, crushing her with a searing kiss. “You’re so beautiful, Lace,” she whispered as her lips trailed kisses along her jaw and neck. Her hands traced absent patterns along skin before palming two plump breasts, thumbs rolling over hardening nipples. Lacey arched into touch, a low moan escaping her lips. Amanda moved her mouth lower, taking one nipple into her mouth and sucking. Lacey bucked her hips up into Amanda’s. The action caused Amanda to moan as she felt the wet heat from her girlfriend’s core press against her stomach.

“Oh, god, Amanda,” Lacey groaned as she ran her hand into blonde locks as Amanda released the breast with a pop and moved to the other to repeat her ministrations. As she sucked and flicked the breast she used her fingers to gently roll the other erect nipple. When Lacey was bucking more, Amanda moved her ministrations to the underside of her breasts, licking and nipping them gently. She quickly had the withering brunette whimpering as she moved lower, her hands moving to gyrating hips and pinned them to the bed. She had enough wet smeared across her own tight stomach to know that Lacey was highly aroused. It was taking all of Amanda’s self-control not to straddle her girlfriend’s thigh and ride her until she came. This was going to be their first time together like this, Amanda sure as hell didn’t want to spend it like a rutting animal.

“Beautiful,” Amanda murmured as she ducked her head lower, kissing along a tanned hip to a trimmed line that lead down to a glistening core. “Absolutely gorgeous. I wonder who this is for though?” she smirked as she looked up at eyes that were glowing yellow.

“You,” Lacey panted, trying to buck her hips to relieve her arousal. “All for you, babe.” Amanda ducked her head down and took a swipe over glistening labia. The move made the young werewolf moan loudly.

“Fuck, you taste divine Lace,” Amanda said, feeling her own arousal skyrocket. She wrapped one arm around a strong thigh and used her hand to spread her open. Lacey’s clit peaked through its hood, beckoning the blonde for attention. Amanda took another long lick with the flat of her tongue and flicked the tip over the bundle of nerves.

“FUCK!” Lacey shrieked before going into a panting fit. Amanda chuckled as she wrapped her lips around her clit and sucked, flicking it gently with her tongue. “Shit, fuck, damnit,” Lacey panted, her hips bucking against her girlfriend’s mouth, looking for more. Amanda used her other hand to push her leg over and teased her entrance with her fingers, feeling a fresh wave of arousal seep out. “Ugh, Amanda.” Amanda released her clit with a slight tug and moved her tongue back down to her entrance, lapping up the fresh moisture. Her nose bumped Lacey’s clit and with a thrust of her tongue inside Lacey came undone with a loud groan. Amanda lapped up the juices that came from the orgasm, trying to help her girlfriend ride it out. Lacey tugged her up though and as she was just coming down from her high pressed her lips into Amanda’s, tasting herself on the blonde’s lips.

Amanda groaned at how sexy it all was to her, pressing herself closer to Lacey. Her fingers pushed gently against her core, and Lacey bucked up again, welcoming the digits into her. “Fuck, Lacey,” Amanda groaned out as she felt her inner walls fluttering against two fingers.

“More, please,” Lacey begged, grasping at Amanda’s back to pull her closer. Amanda slipped a third finger in and kissed her as she began to pump into her girlfriend. She moved herself so she could ride her own hand as it thrusted into the brunette and give her better leverage. “God, right there!” she shrieked as Amanda curled her fingers against the spongy area inside. “Mmm, harder, more!”

“I’m trying babe,” she groaned, trying her best to give the brunette what she asked for. When she felt the brunette’s walls starting to tighten she pulled back a little. “Look at me Lace,” Amanda ordered. Lacey opened her heavy eyes that were ringed with the gold from her wolf to look at the intense blues blown black in lust. “I love you,” she said with everything in her heart as she thrusted harder and faster into her girlfriend. She captured the scream of her orgasm in a searing kiss, pushing her quickly into a second intense orgasm that threatened to break Amanda’s fingers. The blonde came as well from the intensity of it all, with Lacey’s screams and her fingers clawing along her back. She never felt the pulse of magic that left her with her own orgasm.

When Amanda pulled back Lacey was passed out on the bed. She carefully extracted her fingers and licked them clean. Lacey remained out though. Carefully she rolled out of the bed and pulled the covers up over the brunette, then got dressed and wrote a note. She kissed her forehead one last time before leaving the bedroom.

Amanda grabbed her bag from where she had it hidden in the cupboard, grabbed the keys, and walked out of the apartment down to her car. She threw the bag into the passenger seat as she slipped in behind the wheel. A flash of lightning streaked across the sky as she started the engine, her heart heavy with her decision. But she had to go through with this. It was the only way she would be able to live with herself.

As she rolled down main street, heading for the road leading to the town line, fat drops fell from the sky. If she didn’t know better Amanda could have sworn they had been torn from behind her eyes and thrown at her. Lightning flashed again, followed this time by a roll of thunder. The rain came down harder as she came closer to the town line, almost as if something was trying to stop her leaving. She wouldn’t have anything stopping her though and pushed the pedal harder until she saw the familiar “Leaving Storybrooke” sign pass by her in a blur. The rain didn’t let up though.

Amanda’s thoughts went to Lacey, thinking of how much her girlfriend was going to feel used and betrayed by the note she left. She didn’t mean anything she wrote, Amanda just wanted her angry for a few days so she could get far enough away from the only home she had known since she was born so she couldn’t be easily found. Then her thoughts went to Regina, the only mother she had left. This was going to break her heart. She just didn’t feel like she was good enough anymore to be worthy of being Regina Swan-Mills’ daughter. She was still too guilty about Emma’s death, no matter what she was told. She silently begged for her forgiveness for failing her.

She wished for the rain to stop its trajectory downwards, to let up so it could numb the pain in her heart and soul. Nothing was going to slip from her mind no matter what she tried, she just knew it. She was going to remember everything.

Her thoughts sprang to Henry, how he was probably going to hate her for leaving. His kids loved their youngest aunt so much, and she genuinely loved them as well. Henry, despite being what she teased to be an old man now, still had an issue with people abandoning family. An image of Alex danced into her vision. Her sweet older sister, whom she had been through so much with just a few years ago. She was surprised that she didn’t blame her out loud for what had happened, but she was sure she was going to blame her for the heartache everyone was going to feel. Amanda was simply trying to do what she thought was best for everyone near her.

Her eyes glanced into the rearview mirror, looking back at the darkness she knew held the town that was getting farther and farther away the more she drove. Her heart thudded painfully in her chest and the darkness of the night seemed to become greyer. She caught a glimpse of her blue eyes, and even in the darkness they seemed to have taken a duller tone as well. She sighed, knowing she just had to start her life over as best as she could right now.


	41. Author's Note

Note: I will remove this note when I post an actual chapter again. I just wanted to let you loyal readers and followers know that I have not given up on this story. Life and writers block has gotten in the way. It is still on my to-do list to complete. Thank you all for your patience and loyalty!!!


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